


The End of Time

by CandyCrackpot



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: And feels, BEHOLD, Gen, for the glory of non-panty flashing fanservice, lots of suffering, no explicit pairing but the vibes are still going to be strong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-06-04 06:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6646195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discovered by Apocrphos, the Millennium Earl and the Order, Allen attempts escaping with Johnny, but is cornered. Old wounds, that never truly healed, are now torn open, facing him with his mistakes. Allen must relinquish control of his fate to make hard decisions and see them to the bitter end. He will protect everyone, no matter what it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Decision

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before the return of the manga (when I started I didn't know it would return, but I like this story so I'll stick to it no matter how long I take) and I decided to upload it here too. Hope you like it.

Run, dodge, run, dodge. This was the only way to get away from the berserk Earl. His whole appearance changed, his eyes twitched, rolling separately, the huge palms crushing everything in sight. His speech was jumbled, he kept calling Neah. Not only Allen was chased by Apocryphos but the Noah and the Earl showed up too. On top of that, from the former's presence he couldn't will his Innocence to obey. Fighting the Earl bare-handed was suicide, and then he even lacked a limb. This was bad, civilians might get caught up in this and that wasn't something Allen looked forward to. If things dragged on too long even the Order might show up.

His worry only grew as he spotted Johnny running _towards_ him instead of away. In that moment he was crushed to the wall, the force of the blow shattering the window. Allen briefly blacked out, slumping to the ground.

And again, memories that weren't his threatened to push themselves in his mind. Johnny's voice kept him from sinking in the darkness.

Before the Earl could capture him, Johnny dove in, pushing themselves out of the way. The scientist kept calling out to him and he finally regained consciousness. "Johnny..." he breathed. Damn his whole body screamed from exhaustion and he was pretty sure he broke a few ribs. Not only he was a threat, but a burden also. "Get away from me." He pleaded. He couldn't take the thought that Johnny might die because of him.

"I can't!" Allen was surprised when his only arm was thrown over the other's lithe form. Johnny was trying to drag him away as he risked his own safety for someone who already hurt him almost fatally. "We're getting away together!"he promised.

"Stop this..." he didn't want any more of his comrades die because of him. "Johnny, stop it. Johnny."

"No, together!" the other insisted as he stumbled under Allen's weight. "We're leaving together!"

"Who... are you?" a familiar voice asked.

The man shook as he turned to face humanity's greatest enemy. "E-Earl."

Said Earl lost the little sanity he had left. "YOU! WHO ARE YOU?!" The enormous palm crashed in the ground, sending the two forms away flying.

Somehow this triggered a flashback of sorts in Allen, but at the same time, the Earl was affected by it. A flashback about the Earl claiming that a young man who resembled Neah greatly was responsible for the "tragedy". A young man, who turned out to be Mana at the end of his teenage years. Also the murder of a woman his memories referred to as his mother. Allen couldn't help but cry out his father's name.

"Mana." The Earl repeated, the name foreign, yet familiar on his tongue. "You're right... That's right. Mana. I remember now. Mana. Mana. Mana, Mana, Mana, Mana, Mana! MANA IS THE CAUSE OF EVERYTHING!"

Allen grit his teeth. Nothing made sense. He didn't understand a thing from those fragments, but if he mulled over them he risked being caught up in them. Not only that, but it seems that the Earl himself was affected by the 14th's awakening. He had to get Johnny out of here. At this rate they are going to get killed.

He sprung to his shaky legs, bolting for Johnny's body.

"No, Neah!" the Earl's voice turned desperate. Allen didn't like the tone. It sounded so human, so genuine, so full of sorrow. For some reason a part of him wanted to turn around.

Allen ignored the Earl and scooped up his companion, intent on running, but he was in trouble lacking an arm.

But that doesn't matter. He can't stop now or he'll get caught. If he gets caught they'll surely turn him into a Noah. That can't happen, he needed to get away. With that in thought he threw Johnny's body over his shoulder, ready to speed off.

The Earl let out a desperate cry. "Don't go!" Something heavy hit the ground.

That voice... he recognised that voice...How could he ever forget?

"NEAH!" And again, that voice pulled on his heart. _No. Don't. If you look back or that'll be the end of it._ He kept telling himself, but his body betrayed him. His legs were rooted to the ground and his head slowly turned back. The body on his shoulder slid down. _Don't look. Stop. Don't-_

Everything stopped in the moment his silver eyes met amber ones. He now realised that the sound he heard was the Earl shedding his costume. He was in his human form now, running towards him with tears in his eyes. If he didn't move he'll get caught, but Allen couldn't bring himself to raise a finger. The world ceased to exist around him when he saw the human face of the Millennium Earl. The sensation only returned to his body when a pair of strong arms trapped him in an embrace.

"Neah, I finally found you!" Without that ridiculous costume his voice was clear now and all too familiar. Allen was so frozen in shock he didn't even react as the man referred to him as Neah. The person who held him rested his chin on the boy's shoulder. "I've been looking for you for so long... so long... It'll be alright now. We're going home, okay?" Allen heard the man talk, he could decipher the words, yet his brain refused to take them in. Too much was on his mind.

Memories flooded his mind, this time his own, however he took no pleasure in it.

The familiar amber eyes, the same slicked-back styled black hair and the eccentric choice of clothes. He recognised each wrinkle and the feel of _his_ moustache and _his_ scent that reminded Allen of home.

Unintentionally the person he hated the most reminded him of one he loved the most.

How could he not realise it up until now? He felt so stupid for not noticing it sooner. The way of speech, the way they acted, they dressed and talked... It was all the same. A perfect match.

This person... the Millennium Earl... the Creator of Akuma... the destructor of mankind... the sworn enemy of him and the Black Order... wore the same face his late father did. He had the same deep voice as him. He had the same musky scent as him. Everything of this person reminded him of Mana.

But that is impossible. Mana was long dead. And if he was alive then he shouldn't be the one standing here. No. There was a mistake. There had to be a mistake. There's no way this person was _him_. There was no way this person was Mana.

Mana told so too. He was running from the Earl in order to avoid being killed and to find his little brother. One can't be running from their own selves, right?

Then why? Why was his heart betraying him? How can he let himself get deceived by this face and this voice? Why does he yearn to be held by this person like this? To be told by this person that's everything is going to be alright? To finally confirm if this man had ever loved him...

Was he really that lonely, that he let his arch-enemy hug and cradle him like something precious?

Why did his brain identify this man as his father?

Why?

Mana... Just who were you?

"I hate to disrupt this touching reunion, but we're short on time." Allen somewhat returned to reality hearing Wisely's remark. He only noticed now that there were other Noahs in his presence.

Tyki was smirking at him, but Allen recognised true joy behind his golden eyes. Allen had a feeling that it wasn't only from seeing him again, though it contributed a great deal. "We caught Apocryphos."

"On the other hand the Order appeared too." Wisely added, eyeing Allen's unmoving, stiff form without an ounce of shame. But after peaking in the boy's mind he quickly retreated. Their 14th's outward calm was only a facade, his thoughts were on haywire. The Noah of Wisdom could tell a migraine approaching if he didn't leave the boy's mind pronto.

The Earl reluctantly stepped back from the white-haired boy who was still too shaken from all that happened in such a short period of time, but he was still in his personal space. The Earl placed his wrinkled hands on their youngest's shoulder. "We're going to clear the path for you. Follow us when you're ready." With that he turned on his heels, his costume once again materialising around him along with a sinister aura.

Tyki followed without hesitation, eager to crush his enemies. Wisely hesitated little, seeing the fellow white-head standing in the exact same place, seemingly without blinking. On second thought he followed his kin. It was better to let the new 14th have some space, the whole family would prefer if he came to them willingly. By now he must have realised that he was only running in circles.

And if he ran it's no big deal, Akuma could find him. The transformation could be paused by Apocryphos, but that doesn't mean he can stop it. If the kid could just accept the fact that he's turning into a Noah and accepted His wishes, then it would be a lot less painful. Well, it didn't matter, one way or another he'll be one of them. Soon, the 14th too will realise that the only place he belongs to is the Clan.

.

.

.

Breeze glided in the small alley, ruffling the freshly washed clothes above the two figures in the alley.

Johnny winced in pain and raised his hand to hold his head. Damn, he's been training for the past three months in all his free time to be able to keep up with Allen, yet he's still a burden. Thinking of the younger, his mind instantly cleared. He hastily looked around for the whitehead, but was surprised to find him right next to him, standing.

"Allen! What happened? Did you manage to get us away?" he asked concerned. His worry grew tenfold when he realised that the fellow runaway wasn't responding. "Allen...?" He wanted to ask if something was wrong, but seeing Allen's expression he snapped his mouth shut. Allen's eyes were wide and unseeing, gazing into nothing in particular. He was in shock, the scientist realised. But what could make such a strong warrior halt like this?

The young man was still rooted to the ground, his lips trembling.

What just happened?

What the FUCK just happened?!

His brain failed to come to a rational conclusion.

Mana looked like the Earl.

The Earl looked like Mana.

The Earl was Mana.

Mana was the Earl.

But Mana died 6 years ago.

He was buried, Allen saw his grave.

The Earl came to bring back Mana's soul.

And Allen called back his soul. He made Mana into an Akuma, then he destroyed it with his own hands. His soul should have been purified. He should be dead. He had to be dead. He was dead.

He was _supposed_ to be dead.

Not walking around playing the Millennium Earl.

No.

No one can perfect an act in such extent. This wasn't some vision or hallucination.

This was... the harsh, bitter and unforgiving reality.

Yet again he has to kill the one he loves the most. That would make three times.

No, he couldn't do it, not again. If he did, this time there would be no one to give his life meaning. After such devastating act no one would be able to put together his broken pieces.

Because he would live. He would stay alive to live the rest of his life in his own hell... Knowling that he once again destroyed the one he loved the most.

This is his fate.

This is his punishment.

There's no escape. Not this time. He was trapped.

Just... what on earth was he supposed to do now?

He was snapped out of his thoughts hearing explosions and blood-curling screams. That's right, meanwhile he's in lalaland the Order members and the innocent civilians were getting hurt! He had to lure the Akuma away to an uninhibited area where he could destroy them.

He grabbed onto the stunned Johnny's hand (careful not to touch the electric bracelet again and ) moved to run after them, but he halted hearing a familiar hum and seeing a faintly coloured but mostly transparent wall in front of him. As he glanced back his suspicions were confirmed: they was encased in a barrier.

Damn, just how much of a moron he was to make such an easy target out of himself? Not only that, but because of him Johnny is going to get into trouble too.

Now that he was trapped the Finder unit emerged from all directions, even on rooftops, holding that talisman thing in his face. "Allen Walker and Johnny Gil had been secured!" the Squad leader of the Finders

"Don't let them escape." An unfamiliar voice ordered from his golem.

"Sir, the 7th and 15th unit has already been wiped out!" another voice shouted desperately.

"Don't give up!" the Squad leader barked and pointed a gun at Allen, his subordinates that didn't hold a talisman following his examples. "We've got to hold out until the Exorcists arrive!"

.

.

.

With having such little time in their disposal Kanda didn't have time to tell the old man about the threat in their ranks. That guy, who was Innocence... and Accommodatorless Innocence... An independent one...

How was this even possible?

Could other pieces become independent too?

No, more importantly, what did he want from the Beansprout?

He thought of him as a threat? He wanted him dead?

But then why didn't the Bean become a Fallen One? All Innocence pieces belonged to the Heart, didn't they? If the Heart wanted to end the Sprout's life, then it'd do without a hint of remorse. He knew that it didn't mind making Apostles fall even in a densely populated area, like in China. So then the Heart didn't want his demise?

No, what he said doesn't match that theory.

Those words...

_"Allen is such a good boy, it seems he haven't leaked any information about me."_

When that guy tried to erase his memories he unintentionally leaked what the Sprout held back. Like the fact that Bean _knew_ this guy was after him.

Also, he referred to the brat as "good boy", so it probably didn't want to kill him. But if that's true, why did the Sprout reject him? He's not the kind of guy who'd turn down much needed help out of pride. Especially when other lives were in danger.

Maybe it had something to do with the 14th? Or his escape? With Howard Link's faked death?

_"How was the reunion with the master after 35 years, you worthless puppet?"_

... So it seems Timcampy _was_ on the 14th's side after all... Or maybe torn between wanting to see his Master, but not wanting to lose the Sprout. He's never going to know.

_"During these 3 months you have been a thorn in my side. Allen's reawakening has already started."_

Restarted. So, somehow even though he started it with stabbing him with his Innocence, it was stopped last time. If that this guy offered a lasting solution, then why didn't the Bean accept his offer?

_"Your existence might have mentally supported Allen to endure this isolation. That makes me wonder if I should eliminate you. But I already decided."_

Why would he care about the brat's mental well-being?

_" Oh, and if you try to fly to where Allen is, I will use this Mugen owner as a hostage."_

Why did it bother him, that he was referring to the Bean so casually, while the fucktard didn't even know Kanda's name?

_"Sooner or later I will assimilate Allen."_

That's just plainly disgusting.

_"Being a gentle person, Allen will definitely not abandon his comrade."_

Damn, he would have been used as a hostage like he was some shitty damsel in distress.

_"If you stay here, I will leave Allen alone for today."_

So when he's about to be devoured by the 14th and he's most vulnerable then you pop in and have him for yourself, huh?

In addition, that bastard destroyed Timcampy, their only lead with some wooden chip-shit. They could have gotten some info about the 14th yet, this fuckface destroyed it. He doubted people could do much for the golem back at HQ, but maybe they can tell what that wooden shard is. Komui was an idiot but maybe he can replay Tim's memories to see what happened really.

Damn, brainstorming and such shit wasn't his strength. His Master was way better in it. No matter how much he didn't like it, he'd have to ask for help... Again... The old man is going to be overjoyed to have a secret bid together "father" and "son". Ugh, the thought made Kanda shudder in revulsion. He did respect the man for all he's done for him, but he was sick of the way he was so familiar with him. Tsk, at least he was reliable.

"General, please hurry!" a voice in their restarted golem said. "We managed to secure the fugitive Allen Walker and Johnny Gil, but since the former is a Noah, there's no telling how long the barrier will last, so please hurry."

Kanda was relieved for a moment the Sprout wasn't absorbed, but then he cursed aloud. Here he was asking Tiedoll to help him get the Bean a head-start, and that annoying brat managed to get himself caught! Just what the fuck-

Kanda unsheathed Mugen just in time to block a black-tainted claw from piercing his chest. He wasn't surprised to see the curly-haired Noah bastard smirking at him. The fucker even had the nerve to use his other hand to hold his cigar. "It's been a while hasn't it Mister Kitchen Knife?"

"Not long enough." The Japanese growled back. Damn, just what they needed, Noah. Everyone just had to get their hands on the Bean.

"General, leave him to me, you proceed to where Allen Walker is."

"That won't do." A familiar voice said in an unfamiliar tone. Kanda realised that the Millennium Earl was talking. His Master readied his Innocence. "I.. have finally found whom I have been looking... for so long..." Kanda scowled, he didn't like that tone. Sure, he despised that mocking, overly happy voice.. But hell, this deep and threatening voice could mean one thing. The Earl was going to fight seriously. He tightened his grip around Mugen, shuddering at the eerily calm voice." _**Do you really think I'd let you take him away from me?**_ "

.

.

.

Shit! Allen didn't want to face his friends in such state. Not only he wouldn't be able to activate his rebelling Innocence, but if his friends found out it could be dangerous. They could be targeted and hunted down by _that thing_ too.

His stomach jumped in an uncomfortable knot. Kanda. What happened to Kanda? It's been a few minutes since the Finders called him and he wasn't that far. What was taking him so long? He wasn't captured was he?

No, Kanda could detect a sneak-attack sooner than any stray cat could. He should be fine.

But then what about Timcampy? It's been a while since he called for his mute companion, yet he still wasn't here. He definitely couldn't have been caught, he was too fast for that. And he was together with Kan-

...Fuck. Shit, fuck, damn, bullocks.

If neither of them comes to his way, it means that they were ambushed. The Order? No, he already cancelled that idea, Tim would be able to fly high enough to be unseen, then return to his side.

Noah? No, it doesn't make sense. What would they want from a mere golem?

Then who-?

"Briefing incoming! General Tiedoll and Exorcist Kanda Yuu engaged in battle with the Noah family!" a Finder cried.

"What?!" another exclaimed in panic. "Then what do we do now?"

Shit, he shouldn't dally around here, daydreaming, he had to go and help Kanda. There are at least three Noah in vicinity, even with the General on his side he can't take on this many! On top of that, the Earl is really unpredictable right now.

These barriers were designed for Akuma, right? He can just slip through them without a-

Allen hissed out feeling intense pain shot through his right shoulder. Unintentionally he stepped back a little. He could feel blood ooze out of the circular wound as his Innocence worked to push the intruding object out and close up the wound. "Don't dare you move, you damned Noah!" Damn, to think that these guys would seriously shoot him. Right, the bullets weren't laced with Dark Matter, so they are able to slip through.

Allen glanced at the Squad Leader and a sense of déjà vu hit him. Those eyes... he recognised the look in them. His heart squelched as he looked around and realised they all had the same look in their eyes. The result of brewing fear with anger: hatred.

These people despised him for being a Noah's host.

They despised him for existing.

Even if they fought side-by-side for a year, their fear made them turn on him.

"Listen up, you Noah bastard, make another suspicious move and you'll get a hundred times more of this."

How ironic. Everyone thought of him as a monster before he decided to become an Exorcist. The situation was similar, he was different from the others, so they ostracized him.

He himself, didn't understand the situation.

He just wanted to have people who accepted him for who he was.

When he joined the Black Order, he didn't expect to find there people who embraced his imperfection. With time, he even came to think of the people there as friends, than that deepened into family. And now, those people that previously accepted him were hunting him, like an animal.

Damn. Some luck he had for sure.

No, this was... _Karma_ for sure...

It's the same old song isn't it?

It looks like... in this world... there's no place for someone like him, eh?

.

.

.

... Shit, just when did he become so pathetic? If his Idiot Master saw him he'd probably beat him with his mallet until he "got sense" in his Idiot Apprentice. Well, that bastard wasn't mistaken much, he was an idiot. What was he doing here, indulging in self-pity when Kanda, who had his half leg in his coffin was fighting? He had to go where he was.

Suddenly he felt a tug on his left, and the sensation was slowly returning to him. The feathers of his Innocence were swirling together and took on the form of his left arm again. For a minute he completely forgot about the fact, that guns were pointed at him, he raised his left arm and flexed it. No more disturbance. Apocryphos wasn't around anymore. The connection was back.

_You haven't forsaken me yet?_

Pulsing warmth was the response.

_...Thank you._

With this power he can protect himself and Johnny.

Seeing the sudden change in their captive, the Finders once again warned him. "Stay right there-!"

That's nice and all, but you just don't tell Allen Walker what to do.

In a blink of an eye, he activated his Innocence and grabbed onto the startled Johnny, keeping him under the protective cape. Without further ado, he kicked off the ground and as he expected, he could slip through the barrier with ease.

In their fear, the Finders started shooting him and that fear intensified seeing their precious bullets fall to the ground, crumpled from hitting Innocence. It was as if they were shooting an indestructible wall. The traitor proceeded as if mere bugs were flying at him.

The Squad leader panicked, fearing his own life as well as his companions'. "DIE YOU MONSTER!"he fired all his bullets in an instant, but those as too were ignored.

His subordinates begged him to run, but he knew it was useless. He couldn't fight a Noah. From what he heard he can't outrun them either.

_I guess, that's it_. He thought, tearing up, frozen from the dread of knowing that once that boy reaches him he's dead. _The difference between our powers are too great. We can't win against this thing._

He readied himself for the finishing blow as the Noah closed in on him. His steps grew louder. 5 meters, 3 meters, 1... _He's here._

He didn't dare to blink, he was left wide-eyed staring at the enemy who was going to kill him. He was right in front of him and he was getting closer and closer. He was right next to him then-

His heart skipped a beat when the malicious Noah passed by him. He heard his footsteps get more and more inaudible as the distance grew between them.

But they couldn't follow him. They couldn't move an inch.

At last, the Squad leader turned around, watching the retreating whiteness in disbelief. That Noah... spared him.

.

.

.

To get a better view, Allen climbed up to the rooftops. He tried activating his eyes, but it seemed that there were no Akuma nearby. Only Noah.

He cursed his luck. Unlike them, he couldn't track other Noahs down.

The rising hair on the back of his neck was the only warning he got. Allen expertly dodged to the right, mindful to keep Johnny covered. He was mentally thanking him for being so silent, the scientist must have realised the gravity of the situation.

He was only half-surprised to see black eyes, full of hatred staring at him. "I have finally found you, you traitor."


	2. Devouring Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After chapter 219 I feel so stupid. Did any of you guys realise that it was Neah who woke up from that flashback? I didn't. It's so embarrassing. I shall fix that. *khm* Well, anyhoo, this story will go on, trying to take the new chapter into consideration.
> 
> Timothy is going to have his next life-long trauma. Allen suffers guilt forever.
> 
> Thank you for WhyPie and Ichi for commenting!

Two beige coated man stepped out of the train, their faces still bruised from the Second Exorcist's ruthless attacks. They were caught off-guard and had failed their mission miserably. They expected harsh punishment, but to their great surprise they were given a second chance. _This could be used to our advantage_ , the words of their employers rung in their ears, _let them go and find Walker_.

It made sense. The more of them were together the easier they were to find. Allen Walker somehow managed to disappear from the radar, but having two people by his side would certainly make things harder for him. _Those two could be used against him_.

One of them were to return and report, while the other was sent on another mission. At first the command sounded strange, but they didn't question it, it wasn't their place to. If they were ordered they acted accordingly, that's how they were trained. So dutifully, he tracked down the given address. It was a small house just on the outskirts of a town. No one in close range. Perfect. He knocked on the door. In a few minutes a short elderly lady opened the door for them, heavily leaning on a staff.

"Ye- Oh, dear, what happened to you, sir?"

The man smiled at her. "Ah, do forgive my attire, I was mugged on the way."

"How horrible!" the woman gasped.

"Fortunately I managed to get away relatively unhurt. However, I was on the way to meet my little brother in the hospital, he might be worried why I haven't arrived already. May I use your telephone to tell him I'm alright, miss?"

"Certainly, please come in." she invited. "I'll put on some tea."

"Then, excuse me." The man said as he took off his hat, hiding his devilish smirk. This was too easy.

.

.

.

Allen calmly swept his eyes over the seething ex-sailor in front of him. The man's form was extremely tense, his anger and hate were poorly-hidden. In the 3 months he haven't seen Chaoji, he finally had his Innocence forged into an Anti-Akuma weapon. It was a pair of gloves, that gave him superhuman strength, the proof was a quite large hole in the roof. He had to be careful or it might collapse under them. So he was another close-combat fighter. He could decrease the loss the Order suffered by losing a Critical Point Breaker. "It sure has been a while." He remarked.

"Quit the pleasantries, Noah scum, I came to fight you!" He spat as he lunged to give another punch. This time Allen blocked with his Innocence, the white cape absorbing the power of the punch. Chaoji let out an annoyed grunt seeing his attack was useless, but kept on throwing punches. Allen kept backing until the edge of the roof, then quickly spun out of Chaoji's way. Not expecting the loss of ground, Chaoji lost his balance and fell forward. In the last minute he caught the drain, so he avoided falling off. After making sure that the guy didn't fall to his death, Allen used the opening and jumped to the next roof.

"Wait!" the ex-sailor shouted as he pulled himself up, but Allen didn't listen. He managed to get a few roofs of head-start, but another attack from the side. Claws similar to his just grazed the edge of his cape, but it revealed his package to the onlooker, making him gasp, giving a clear view of his fangs. Allen barely had the time to jump away from Krory. "Careful Chaoji, you could hit Johnny!"

"Johnny?!" the Chinese asked completely baffled as he turned his enraged eyes at the scientist. "So taking care of your grandmother was just a lie?!"

Allen tensed hearing that. Grandmother? Johnny had _family_?

Oh shit. Oh god. This was bad. Really bad. With this not only Johnny's, but his entire family's life was in danger. That's the first place where they'd search for him. _They might already be there._

.

.

.

The Crow quickly took in the interior of the small house the woman lived in. From the size of the building, he guessed that she lived alone. Downstairs was the kitchen and the living room with the fireplace. She probably slept upstairs. There were few furniture, shelves and cupboards in the kitchen, a table with two chairs, a sofa in the living room and a sewing machine under the window still. He could tell it hasn't been in use in a long time.

His observation was cut short when a cup of tea was placed in front of him. "Is your brother alright?"

"He was starting to get worried, but it's alright now." He lied, then purposefully glanced at the picture sitting on a shelf. "Is that you in the picture, ma'am?"

She let out a small laugh as she glanced at the photo fondly. "Why, yes, that's me with my grandson when he was little." She sighed, her wrinkled fingers gently stroking the shaggy-haired boy in the picture. "Time sure flies fast, he's a grown man already." This time her sigh was weary. "Such a smart boy... he joined an organisation to pursue his dreams... I haven't heard of him for a long time..." she trailed off longingly.

"I'm sure he's alright." Her guest reassured her.

A small smile spread on the elder's face as she took away the now emptied mug. "Of course, I pray to God for his success and well-being. I just can't help but miss my grandson. You're right, Johnny is surely doing fine."

.

.

.

Allen's body was on auto-pilot as he kept dodging Chaoji's attacks and Krory's attempts to catch him.

What could he do with Johnny? He couldn't defend well if he had to carry him. Not only that, now that it turned out that Johnny had family he knew that there was no way he could take the scientist with him. Who knows what the Church could do to them. He couldn't risk their lives and he can't let Johnny sacrifice his family for him. He had to part with him.

_I'm sorry, Johnny, but this is for the best._

The only obstacle was that annoying bracelet. He needed to get away from the others, get rid of it and place Johnny to safety.

Allen slipped out of an attack that would have hit, but now its target was Krory. Krory was almost caught, but then an orange barrier flared up and stopped them. Allen gasped seeing that he was encased within yet another barrier with Chaoji and Krory. He glanced back to confirm the obvious.

There stood Miranda, protecting herself with a smaller barrier around her, her nervous gaze boring into his. The two males collected themselves and eyed him for an opening. If this didn't make things so much harder, he would have complimented them for their impeccable teamwork.

He didn't have time for this. He had to get out, hide Johnny and help Kanda, possibly before more Exorcists joined the fight. Miranda wasn't an offensive type, Chaoji was still a beginner and Krory hesitated so he could hold out on his own against them. But if more Exorcists joined the equitation, then he might not make it...

The Generals would sure be problematic. Avoiding Marie's stings would be hard. Same goes for Bookman's needles. He hoped Lavi wouldn't use his Fire Seal in such a densely populated area. These mentioned would be hard to avoid. Then came Timothy and Lenalee who-

A familiar shockwave like feeling ran through Allen's body as his Innocence deactivated. He unwillingly let go of Johnny and his mind sunk in the darkness.

.

.

.

The three Exorcist and Johnny watched the white-haired boy with caution. His shoulders were oddly relaxed and his head lolled forward. All of them tensed up when he sprung to life. "I did it~!" the boy sang giddily, his silver eyes sparkling. "I caught, Big Brother Allen~!"

Miranda sighed in relief."Timothy." For a minute she was frightened that they would be counterattacked. She didn't want to hurt Allen any more than they probably did by now. But they couldn't let him roam around his own, tracked by the Noah. And she wanted him safe, not only from the Earl but from those dreadful Crows too. "Your body is safe, right?"

Timothy eagerly nodded. "Yeah, I left them with a bunch of Finders. Look, they're already here. Hey guys, whazza!" he shouted waving at the beige coated man, who carried his slumbering body.

"Capture of Allen Walker has been successful." Krory reported trough his golem.

"Good, don't let him escape this time." Was the curt reply.

"Timothy, can you keep him under control until we get back?" the Romanian asked.

The possessed boy snickered. "Sure thing!"he glanced down at Johnny. "Heya, Johnny I missed ya too. You guys been alright?"

"Timothy..." the man whispered stunned. He heard of the boy's abilities, but he was worried, and for some unexplainable reason, he had a very bad feeling creeping up on him.

Timothy just smiled at him from Allen's body. "No worries, we're gonna take you guys home! Eh?" He gasped in surprise when a monocle appeared in front of his left eye. "The colours disappeared?"

A heavy weight settled itself in Krory's stomach hearing that, his mind wandering back to the past, to the last days in that castle, to that devastating sight that changed his life. It couldn't be...!

"Whoa, I can see what's behind me too! This is awesome!" Tim shouted before his voice dropped again. "What are those strange clouds?" he wondered as he turned around, glancing in all directions. "Strange. Some kinda purplish mists are heading in our way... from all directio-" the breath was stuck in his throat seeing strange shapes emerge from the haze.

Krory's unease grew seeing the dread slowly spread in Allen's shaking body, the usually non-see-through eyes reflecting the horror the boy felt."Timothy?" he called out to the younger, but he was unheard. Everything was drowned out by the sound of Allen's heart accelerating. "Wha-what are these?" he asked in a trembling voice. Krory cursed under his breath feeling his teeth pulse in anticipation. "AKUMA!" he shouted out loud, just as he spotted the first one. He quickly glanced back at the frightened Timothy. "Tim, get away from here, we'll take care of this! Timothy!" he kept shouting at the frozen boy who was still rooted to the ground.

They were calling for him. Not for "Timothy", but for "Allen". Many pained voices and pained moans melted into one, Timothy could feel their desperate and cold fingers on his skin as they reached out to him.

_ AlLen.  _

_ ALleN.  _

_ BiG BrO.  _

_ MiSTer. _

_ MasTEr ExOrISt. _

_ APosTle. _

_ HelP uS. _

_ SaVE Us.  _

_ FREe uS. _

_ DESTROY US.  _

They were pleading. They were _begging_ to be released of eternal damnation, the souls imprisoned within the Akuma. To end the torture. Timothy felt like fainting.

Was this what Allen had to see every time?

But now that he was in control Allen was sleeping. He had to wake up. Timothy had to wake him up, but he had no idea how. He couldn't find Allen.

_Big Bro, where are you?_

**Allen is not here anymore.**

A violent shiver ran down on Timothy's spine as he snapped his head back to face Allen's reflection in the mirror. He felt his whole body shake from seeing an ominous shadow behind Allen. It was grinning at him, he could feel its icy breath scratch his skin. And then that malicious voice talked again.

**Now set me free.**

Timothy's hands flied up to his ears as he screamed out. Everyone flinched at the blood-curling shriek. He could feel the shadow close in on him, gripping into his skin, crawling up on him, _ready to pull him down and feast on him_ -!

Timothy's blue eyes snapped open, his breathing laboured. The Finders around him asked if everything was alright, but he was still too shaken to reply. In the last second, right before he got devoured he was pushed out. It was Allen, he was sure of it.

_Big Bro..._

Meanwhile Allen, back in control quickly collected himself, picked up Johnny again and dodged an Akuma before slashing it in half. Apparently Timothy got him under control just as he was thinking about the boy. He cursed himself for letting his guard down enough to get possessed. This was close. Way too close. He almost lost to the 14th. This may be the last time that he could relinquish control. On top of that, because of him, poor Timothy saw something no one but he should.

He wondered how he managed to wake up, though. Was it his own screams? The Akuma? Or... Or maybe he developed some kind of immunity after battling the 14th within himself for so long? Well, that was good, since that shortened the not-to-encounter list to the Generals and Lenalee. The girl would probably wouldn't hurt him seriously, but it would still be hard to escape an opponent that was faster than the speed of sound.

**Then just kill her.**

The hair stood up on the back of his hair, hearing that. He only heard this voice twice, but he could recognise it without fail.

_Neah._

**The one and only.**

_Could we have this lovely conversation another time, I'm kind of busy here._

**Such thing wouldn't be a problem for me.**

_But_ I _am not_ you _._

**True. For now.**

Allen resisted the urge to snarl, he knew it was useless. This guy just wanted to spite him, have him get angry and make a mistake, so he pounce on him. He had to keep his head cool.

**Ignoring me, eh? You can try to run but you'll never escape me.**

_If you haven't noticed I'm being ambushed. If you keep disturbing I'll get captured and put under torture. I don't think you're ready to face the Order AND the entire Noah clan right now._

Thankfully Neah stayed silent, but Allen could practically feel the oozing amusement. He blocked another onslaught of bullets, that buried themselves in the roof instead. The weakened floor crumbled under him. Allen readied himself to jump on the next roof, when he heard a horrified gasp. Turning back, his eyes widened seeing Miranda sink. No, she wasn't sinking, she was falling. Without a second thought, Allen gave up his chance of escape - letting the Exorcists fight the Akuma while he ran away - instead he turned on his heels. He dashed past the two stunned males and threw himself after the screaming woman. To close the distance between them, he ran down on the wall vertically. He managed to grab the woman just in time to flip themselves over, since there was no time to extend his Clown Belt to hold on somewhere.

Despite Crowned Clown cushioning the impact, Allen could still feel a few ribs cracking. He let go of the stunned German and rolled away. He got to his shaky feet, ready to run another round, but he stopped sensing a wire-system stretched around him. As he was forced to stop, they curled around different parts of his body, so if he moved he'd get cut. Damn, this was the exact reason why he wanted to avoid confrontation with Marie. Not to mention the fact that he could easily track him down by the sound of his heartbeat. "Are you alright, Miranda?" the handicapped but skilful Exorcist asked.

Said woman nodded, still shaken from the fall that almost killed her. A Finder walked past him, shoulders tense. Allen recognised him, it was the same man who shot him. He still had his gun and raised it to Allen's temple. Though it would have been more effective if the man wasn't trembling like a leaf. His eyes were still hateful but had a tingle of doubt in it. "Back then... why did you spare us? Why aren't you taking on your true form? What are you fighting for?"

Allen didn't answer. What could he say? That he wasn't a danger, that he wasn't a Noah? As if they'd believe him. The reason why he was captured because he asked his friends to kill him if he posed as a threat.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Miranda approached him with tearful eyes. She kept searching for something within his eyes. Then abruptly, she threw herself at him. Allen flinched feeling her grasp so tightly as she cried into his coat and he was ready to flee when a second pair of arm joined and wetted his collar.

"NO MISTAKE, THIS IS DEFINITELY ALLEN!" she sobbed loudly. Only Allen would be so careless to jump off a roof to save her!

Chaoji and the Finder unit openly gaped at the display.

The... two Exorcist... are hugging... a Noah. A traitor. An enemy of mankind. And bawl their eyes out.

The hell?

"I-I'm zo habby!" Krory wailed.

Miranda was next to flood Allen with her ramble. "Allen, are you alright?! You lost weight! You're not eating well?!" the questions flew out of the mouth of the female like and endless stream, Allen didn't even have the time to answer before the next round came. "You have dark circles under your eyes! You have insomnia?! If you have trouble falling asleep drink camomile tea or warm milk! Here, have this pear!" She urged as she practically shoved the fruit in the unsuspecting boy's mouth, making him choke. Seeing this, Krory quickly tightened his squeeze around the boy's middle, making him spit out the food.

Realising her mistake, Miranda instantly shrieked. "I'M SO SORRY! I'LL CLIMB BACK UP AND THROW MYSELF OFF THE ROOF THIS INSTANT!"

"No, don't do that Miranda." He spluttered, still trying to normalise his breathing. And then he laughed. He laughed as he haven't in a long time. He knew for outsiders he looked hysterical, and the two Exorcists were getting increasingly worried, but god, he missed them so much.

"Big Bro..." Timothy whispered. Allen perked up hearing the normally cheerful boy so silent. He tried to mask his regret and sorrow as he studied those petrified blue eyes. Timothy was touched by his curse. He almost got erased by the 14th. He smiled apologically at him, knowing that it was nowhere enough for the trauma he caused. " Forgive me, Timothy. I let you see something monstrous. I can never regret that enough. I'm sorry."

Timothy bit his lips hearing the apology. He walked past the Finders who attempted to protest, but they were ignored. Timothy ranked higher after all. He ignored Chaoji's dumbfounded expression and stopped just a step from Allen.

Allen had a really hard time keeping his face blank seeing the boy's anguished expression. He hated seeing the people he loved in sorrow, but he hated it even more when he was the reason of their sadness.

Why? Why did this have to happen? How did things become like this? Why did he always have to hurt the people he loved?

_What have I become?_

**Become? What are you talking about?** An all too familiar voice cooed.

_What? You again?_

The voice only chuckled at the insult, spiting Allen more. **Can't you realise the truth, Allen? Nothing changed.**

With every word, the insults, like his sins, his heart grew heavier.

**Everything is the same, since history repeats itself. You just turned a blind eye to the truth. They keep getting hurt, because you keep hurting them. Because you offer false comfort and lull them into a false sense of security. You are their hope. And when you disappear from this world, so will their fighting spirit get crushed. Cruelly. Miserably. Pathetically. They will curse the day they met you and the day you were born.**

_They would never do such thing._ Allen was ready to scream out loud, but then Timothy latched himself on his left arm, shaking slightly. Allen immediately forgot about the voice in his head.

"Please... don't..." the boy implored in a choked voice, that made Allen's heart clench painfully. "Don't disappear. Stay with us."

**You will damage them beyond repair. You will be their undoing. You will not kill them, but you'll destroy them. Because you're nothing more than a puppet of destruction.**

_Shut up. These guys are a lot more powerful than you imagine._

He was aware of the concerned glances shot in his direction, but he couldn't pay attention to them. He concentrated on keeping Neah's crushing weight off of himself.

**No, you're not even worthy of such title.**

Miranda placed her hands on his shoulders, her maroon eyes boring into him. Usually the shy woman would never be able to pull it off without an breakdown, but too much was on stake to doubt herself. Allen needed her, he needed them. "Allen, if you leave now, the Order will never forgive you. If you turn yourself in now, there's still a chance that you can avoid execution! Please, come back home with us!"

"No!" Chaoji shouted at her, making the German flinch. "He killed the Inspector and a lot of our friends died because of him! He's a monster, he needs to be gone!"

**You're just a monster.**

Chaoji was right. A lot of people died because of him. A series of images flashed through his mind. Mana, Cross, Link... everyone who stood close to him died. All because of him. Because he failed to protect them. He couldn't let anyone get close to him. He couldn't let any more of them die for him. He had to leave Johnny. He cannot go back to that place.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't go back. There was no point. Nothing would go back to the place it was.

**You have always been one.**

But he wanted to. God, they had no idea how much he wanted to but he knew what had to be done. "I can't go with you. I... have failed to become an Exorcist."

**So disappear once and for all.**

"Allen?"

 _Disappear...?_ Would it be for the best... if he didn't exist?

His smile turned sorrowful.

_...Forgive me, everyone._

Inside, the Noah cackled with laughter.

"That's enough." A feminine voice ordered. All eyes turned to General Klaud Nine, General Sokalo and Lenalee entering the scene. The woman's expression was neutral, while Sokalo looked like a kid at Christmas. No doubt he hoped that Allen would put up _some_ resistance, so he could sink his weapon in him. The girl looked terribly uncomfortable with the situation, her worried eyes seeking Allen's whose were covered by his white bangs. It was obvious that they heard everything. "He won't obey, so we'll take them along." The female General decided.

Just as she commanded her Innocence to activate, an explosion shook the ground under them. It felt close. Akuma showed up, all rejoicing the return of the 14th as they slaughtered the Finder unit. Miranda placed Timothy, Marie, Allen and herself in her Time Out, while everyone else engaged in battle.

Allen's body tensed upon sensing the perfect opportunity to run, but Marie's Innocence still held him in place. "Don't try to escape Allen, my strings can cut through Level 3s. Just stay put."

The white-head didn't listen. Even when the wires cut into his skin, making him bleed, he still didn't stop. He kept pulling, until he heard a distinctive sound of a string snapping, making Marie gasp in surprise. Then another and another and many, many more, until he was free. He momentarily stumbled forward, then regained his balance and dashed off, effortlessly slipping out of Miranda's shield.

"Damn, he escaped!" Nine cursed. "Lee! Follow Walker from the sky, we'll follow you shortly."

"Y-Yes!" the girl stuttered as she kicked off the ground, flying past the Akuma. 3 months have passed and despite wanting nothing more but have Allen back with them, she found herself unable to face him. She didn't fear that Allen was angry at her, he wasn't the type to hold grudge. Disappointment and the sense betrayal were another concern though. Instead of her boots, this time her guilt seemed to be the hardest to carry.

Allen who treasured his friends was hunted by them. He was running and hiding, all on his own while he was slowly consumed by the Noah within.

She had to find him first and tell him that it would be alright. Komui would find a way to separate the memories. She was sure of it.

Her eyes roamed over the streets, but they were too narrow to see anything properly. Another explosion went off, not far from her right or the group of battling Exorcists. Now that she thought of it, Allen only started trying to escape when he heard them. Maybe he knew what they were? Maybe he was heading that way? It was worth a shot.

She descended a few metres, only to jump back up, out of the way of an attack. Her eyes widened in horror seeing General Tiedoll's Innocence fight the Earl and Kanda battle the Noah of Pleasure, the houses surrounding them levelled. Impossible! What were they doing here! The Noah practically disappeared after the whole Alma Karma fiasco (the Akuma... not so much). Why were they returning now? Their situation looked bad, Tiedoll was wounded on his side and Kanda looked exhausted, the Noah clearly had the upper hand. Yet another building collapsed, revealing the two opposite forces to each other.

"My, my what a lovely get-together." Tyki chuckled in the Exorcist's stunned face. "Don't tell me you guys are after that lad. You're a little late with that, though. We're taking our wayward little brother home with us."

Sensing an Innocence from above, Tyki jumped back to evade the incoming Lenalee. "Ho, what do we have here? The little damsel in distress decided to join the fight?" the Portuguese mocked. Lenalee clenched her fists in anger, this Noah was referring to and was making fun of her helpless state at their last encounter. Not only that, he talked about Allen as if he belonged to them! "I won't let you take him too!"

Driven by anger, she lunged at him to land a kick, but Mikk could keep up with her speed. Damn his Noah genes. "Oh, you're still angry about Eye-patch?" he taunted as he countered her attacks with his stiff claw. "It's quite nostalgic don't you agree? That time he was the angry one trying to 'beat the shit out of me' out of revenge and now you're doing the same. I wonder if next time someone else will fight to avenge you? Hoop!" he let out a laugh as he dodged another kick. Thanks to his Noah instincts, Tyki sensed another Exorcist coming from behind to pounce on him, so he grabbed the girl by her Innocence and threw her at the vampire.

Meanwhile the other Exorcists engaged in battle, Kanda used the opportunity to catch his breath. Damn, he always related the stupid Beansprout to an old man, but now _he_ felt like one. Living without his healing ability was hard. But now that everyone's attention was away from him, he could go after that stupid Bean. He had to be close, the Akuma were swarming here like crazy. Especially before a dark alley, it was so narrow and winding it was hard to see anything from the shadows. His instincts suggested that he was there.

However, before he could follow, he had to jump to the side to avoid being squashed by a large palm. He clicked his tongue in annoyance seeing the Earl battle the Exorcists with ease. At some point, the twins appeared and divided the group into four - one against the Earl, one for the Akuma, one for Tyki and one for Jasdevi. But despite their larger number and decreasing number of Akuma, the Exorcists were having their ass kicked, he could see that for the Noah this was nothing more than fun. Tiedoll too was near his end, leaving only General Nine and Winters. Even though all the Akuma present were killed by now, they were still at disadvantage.

"Marie!" two feminine voices called out, making Kanda's hear clench. The Austrian had trouble fighting off the Noah, his Innocence seemed to be harder to manage. When the blind man got pushed to the ground Kanda's body automatically moved, but was targeted by those annoying twins. Lenalee was stuck in that annoying green blob, while Chaoji was hit by Tyki's blast. Having gotten rid of all obsticales, Marie was defenceless to the Noah of Pleasure. Kanda shuddered at the predatory look in those golden eyes as he flexed his arm, ready to tear into his chest-

"That's enough." An eerily calm voice cut through the noise of the battle, muting it with two words. Everything stopped when a pair of boots, then its owner emerged from the alley Kanda eyed earlier. A pair of worn black boots with black pants tucked into them, a beige overcoat with black vest and white undershirt, a familiar bowtie. "Really, you guys never change." A familiar voice. Allen Walker's voice. Breaths were held back when a familiar crown of white hair emerged, but there was no reason to celebrate, not for the Exorcist. The biggest tell-tale sign of something out of place wasn't only the bloodied hands, but the facial expression. Instead of the gentle look they were met with a cocky smirk. "Not even in 35 years." The piercing silver eyes snapped onto the Exorcists, making most of them flinch. "Greetings, Exorcists." Those eyes didn't belong to Allen Walker.

They were too late.


	3. Only Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda surprised no one mentioned Johnny's Grandma being in danger. She's the one with the Crow at her. Allen was right. I wonder what will happen to her.

"My, my what an uproar." Not-Allen snickered. "Things haven't changed much while I was gone. You still love to play around with the enemy, aren't you Earl?"

"Four...teenth..." the Noah Patriarch muttered, in the same way he in the North-American.

"Yo, Millennium Earl." The white-haired teen greeted, taking a step closer to the Hea dof the Noah Clan, arms spread out wide. "It's me." He purred. "Neah."

"Ne-ah?" the Count repeated unsurely. He cocked his head to the side, when suddenly the huge costume started shrinking back into its normal size. "Ne-ah."

"Neah?" a shaky voice retored, making the Duke and his long-lost brother tear his head at the source. It was the Crystal Girl, who was stuck in Jasdevi's green bomb. "What do you mean, Allen? You're Allen."

"Oh, am I now?" their silver eyed ex-comrade challenged.

She gritted her teeth in frustration, ignoring the warning of her companions she screamed at him. "Yes, you're Allen, an Exorcist! You said it yourself! You promised you'd return home! You promised that you-! _You promised you'd die before becoming a Noah!_ But she couldn't finish it out loud. Allen couldn't be dead!

The Exorcists tensed and gathered to block Marie, Tiedoll and Lenalee, when the First Noah summoned a ball of concentrated dark matter, similar to the one he levelled Edo with. "Allen Walker, you say?" he recited in the same deep and malicious voice he used lately. "Such foolishness. That person is already gone. Which means, I have no further use of you."

Tiedoll readied his Innocence to quickly pull up the Garden of Even around his comrades. He knew full well that with the power he had left he couldn't protect this town.

However, the blast was never unleashed, the ancient magician's wrist was held back by a black hand. 'Neah' smiled charmingly at the Maker. "Now, no need for that, is there? Basically it's thanks to these people that I'm here."

Kanda tightened his hold on Mugen. He thought that telling the Bean that Timcanpy was dead would be the worst, but no, the possibility of him being gone was the worst.

Damn it, why did it have to end up like this? Why did that bastard Noah chose this guy as his host? He was a moron, but Kanda admitted Allen was a good person, he was the last to deserve this. But there was no time to mourn him now, he had to concentrate. He couldn't let this fucking Noah wear the face of his saviour. Kanda would kill him, so Allen wouldn't have to suffer, not like he had to.

"But these people have been after you. They wanted to take you away to that dreadful place. To kill you in order to save Allen Walker." The First spat. It was hard not to lash out at him for claiming that the opposite of that is happening.

"Kanda, you have been following this traitor?!" Chaoji roared at him, to taken in by his hatred for anyone Noah-related to pay attention to their surroundings. "Haven't you realised it already?! That guy was playing with us! He betrayed us and killed Mister Link and a lot of our friends! Noah or not, he's a demon just like them and needs to be killed!"

Kanda wanted to fucking yell at this rookie that this wasn't the goddamn time to discuss that, but a dark chuckle shut him up. "Isn't it obvious?" Allen's melodious voice questioned. "He came to kill me before I completely transformed." he exposed the not-too deep, but still noticeable wound on his throat with his bloodied right hand. "Too bad he failed. There won't be next time."

A shiver ran down on Kanda's spine. The shocker bracelet… was gone. "Whose blood is that?" he found himself asking, dreading the answer. God, he never wanted to be wrong this much.

As if sensing his wishes, the Noah bastard smirked at him, his irises glinting devilishly. "You ask as if you didn't know. But why not let them now? I wonder" he sneered as he glanced back to the alley he emerged from. "Whose blood might that be?"

Kanda's heart pounded wildly in his chest as his orbs followed Allen's ones. He could swear his heart missed a beat. In the dark alley, Kanda's sharp vision could make out the familiar silhouette of fuzzy brown hair in a low ponytail. Johnny was lying face-down in a pool of vermillion, unmoving.

"Johnny..." Lenalee choked out. "No... Why...?"

"He's still alive." Marie reassured, but his voice wasn't free of concern. That meant Johnny was way too close to death's door.

"He is." Neah-Allen agreed, then added. "For now."

The bastard grinned at the signs of distress on his once-friends.

"Why leave them alive?" the Creator wondered.

"Don't you think it'd make things more interesting this way?" the silver haired lad countered. "Let them suffer." he cooed with false compassion."Let them watch as everything they are fighting for disappears. Let's see if they can stand up to the one who wears the body of their beloved hope. Let's see if they have it in them to kill me."

An ominous laugh left General Sokalo's mouth. "If I have it in me to kill him?" another series of snickers erupted from him. Suddenly he kicked off the ground, aiming for the white-head. "I'll shred you to pieces, brat!"

"General!" Marie called after him hearing his Anti-Akuma blade twirl at an insane speed and produce electricity, ready to slice at the young man. He appeared in a flash in front of his target and brought his Innocence down.

A blade connected with living flesh. Blood flowed out of the wound freely, creating another puddle of crimson stain between the boy and Winters on the cobblestone. Shocked silver irises stared at the figure in front of him. The General coughed, red plasma trickling down on his chin. He didn't have to look at his stomach to know he's been stuck. As he looked down he saw the familiar black and white broadsword pierce him in half. He was surprised to find out that instead of the brat's direction, the attack came from under him. The lethal weapon was held by the Earl's shadow, growing out of the ground like a deadly flower. As the sword ruthlessly sliced him in half, Madness slipped out of his hands, deactivated and clattered on the ground next to his dead body.

Yet another General fell.

The Exorcists stared at the body with varying amount of horror. The only exception was Timothy, since Miranda managed to cover his eyes from the horrible sight in time.

With a single attack. They put _that_ Sokalo Winters down with a single. Attack. This was the difference of power between them. It was painfully obvious that the Noah have only been playing with them until now. _To them this war was nothing more than a sick game._

A dark chuckle resounded in the rubbles. "One down, ten more to go."

Klaud and Tiedoll stood in front of their subordinates protectively. They couldn't lose any more of their forces. Also, they had to get Madness back so it wouldn't get destroyed, as a piece of the Cube, it held the potential of being the Heart. The two remaining Generals exchanged gazes, silently thinking of a plan. In the end, Klaud took the initiative. "Lotto, you protect Marie and Timothy. Han, get Lee out of that, then look for a chance to get the Innocence. Lee you take Gill to a HQ. Kanda, Krory you two fight those Noahs. Froi, back me up."

"But, General, Miranda should just rewind time so Johnny's injures disappear so I can fight too! Lenalee protested.

"Lee, we can't risk Gill getting killed!" Klaud retorted. "Do as you're told!"

No, no, no, no, this can't be happening, she can't go when she finally found Allen! "But I can also-!"

"Is it really a good idea, little girl?" the person wearing Allen's body inquired. "Are you willing to have another one of your precious friends die?"

Lenalee grit her teeth, overwhelmed by the weight of her choise. Take Johnny to safety and risk losing Allen or disobey, stay and risk Johnny's condition to worsen even more? Leave Allen just like she left him behind with Suman? Save someone else only to come back late to save him again? Have a nightmare worse than that pool of blood in the Chinese bamboo forest?

But how could she decide between two of her friends? How could she save one and let the other to die? Why did she have to be faced with such decision?

"Lee!" Klaud boomed her again. "Believe in us!"

_Believe in me_. Her eyes widened at the familiar words. Krory demanded the same when he stayed back to take on Jasdevi. It was the same. She had to go and put her trust into them. She wasn't alone. She didn't have to make this decision on her own. Her comrades were by her side, whatever the outcome.

It was still painful. Was this how Allen and Lavi felt when they had to trust Krory?

Seeing that the girl wouldn't object anymore, Klaud sent Lau Shimin at the Noah Clan's Head and Kanda engaged Tyki while Krory held off Jasdevi, since he knew their special powers. As Chaoji separated her from the goo she heard a barely audible whine come from the alley she knew the answer. She couldn't let Johnny die. She jumped past the white-haired familiar stranger, sparing him a single glance. She wasn't surprised that he didn't meet her eyes. She grabbed the unconscious scientist and with the speed of sound, she whizzed away from the battlefield, hoping she made the right decision.

.

.

.

She was currently hundreds of kilometres away from HQ, even if she went with her full speed, it would take at least an hour. She didn't have that time, Johnny could die of severe blood loss. She had to take him to where an Ark gate was, where the personnel would treat him there and once he was better he'd be transported home. She's just return back to where the gate was, drop Johnny off and return. She won't let Allen slip through her fingers again.

She landed in a church's garden and rushed inside, ignoring the indignant cries. She had no time to scrabble numbers in a stranger's palm. She settled Johnny to one of the pews and took his upper clothes off. Momentarily she stopped seeing the extent of damage. It was a stab wound… but compared to the amount of blood on his coat, it was small. No, this wasn't the time to worry about that. Besides, even a needle could be fatal if it's buried need enough. She quickly wrapped Johnny's scarf over the injury securely. Once she was certain it'll hold she stood up and turned to the exit. "He has massive blood loss. No matter what, keep him alive!"

As she moved to depart, the guards recovered from their slight shock. "Miss, you can't just rush in and throw around orders, identify yoursel-!"

She whipped back, frustrated that she had to waste time on some bureaucratic rules. "You see this!" she pointed at her boots. "This is Innocence. I am an Exorcist of the Black Order. I rank over all of you! Follow your orders and save this person! He has vital information, don't let him die!" Before any of them could protest she was already out of the church and flew back to where her friends were.

.

.

.

The Crow silently headed for the elderly lady's room. It was the dead of night, a perfect time for kidnapping. He stole some tranquilizer in the lady's tea, who insisted that he stayed for the night. The carriage that would transfer them to the next train to Rome was on its way.

He took hold of the woman's bony arm and placed the syringe right above her vein. This fluid would make sure that she doesn't wake up until they reach Central. Just as he was about to pierce her skin he felt a presence behind him. He whipped his arm back, switchblade becoming undone to kill the intruder. His attack was stopped by his forearm being caught by the burglar. However seeing who it was he relaxed slightly. "You should know better than to creep up behind a Crow."

"There's a change of plans. Capturing her is not necessary anymore."

"Shall I dispose of her, then?" he asked.

"No, she still could be used if Johnny Gill is uncooperative. We'll keep an eye on her."

"Very well." The Crow retracted the switchblade and followed his colleague out of the piece. He closed the door behind the unknowing sleeping woman and disappeared in the night.

.

.

.

Miranda nervously watched as everyone else engaged in a battle from the protection of her barrier. Being a defensive user, she couldn't help much, the only thing she could do right now is to revitalise them and protect Timothy and Marie whose Noel Organon was rendered useless. There was no Akuma left for Timothy to possess either and they didn't know the risks of trying to take a Noah. She had no idea what he saw when he was in Allen, but the he was trembling like a leaf in her embrace.

She raised her hand and patted the child's head. Timothy was still so young. She thought _Allen_ was young.

Allen… Just thinking about him made her want to cry. Is he going to end up like Miss Kiredori and Goushi did? Will they kill him too? Her desperate eyes sought out the teenager, who wasn't himself. He was standing facing Chaoji, the identical rings of Madness lying between them halfway.

"This is fate. Finally I can fight you." the Chinese man declared as he took up a fighting stance.

"Hoh? Wasn't your order to secure the Innocence?" the other questioned.

"It's not like you'd let me take it!" Chaoji roared as he charged.

"Chaoji, don't try to take him head on!" Tiedoll shouted at his charge. "His abilities are still unknown!"

However, Chaoji was still too inexperienced with real fights that went for life or death, this wasn't just drunk people's brawling. Thinking that he might catch the younger off-guard, he aimed at the scarred face.

He gasped as his fist met thin air as his opponent evaded his attack simply by merely tilting his head to the side. "Too transparent." the Noah sighed, then sneered at the stunned man. Chaoji felt the air leave him as he received a strong punch in his gut, its force lifting him in the air and making him fly several meters back, right into a still intact brick wall. The only reason he didn't lose consciousness on spot was because the garbage discarded there absorbed most of the impact. "Into the trash where you belong, Exorcist." the Noah taunted.

Chaoji wanted to bite back, but presently he fought not to pass out, that bastard got him really bad. That scrawny looking body was a lot tougher than it looked. Chaoji attempted to get back up to his feet as he watched the person he always hated approach the now Accommodatorless God's Crystal. "Don't." he tried to say, but it hurt to even breathe. The Chinese Exorcists used the wall as a leverage to force himself into standing position, glaring at his assaulter with as much spite as he could. The victim of him look only smirked amused as he kneeled down and to get a hold of it. In the second his fingers touched the substance it would turn to dust.

Chaoji failed.

The other Exorcists tried to get there, but the Noah held them back.

The newest Noah's audience watched in suspense as mismatched hands curled around the Innocence and-

Nothing.

Instead of destroying it, he started twirling the pair of rings in his hands. They realised in either glee or horror what the Noah fledgling was about to do. He wanted to kill Chaoji with it. Even deactivated, if those spikes sunk in you, it would be a painful passing.

Chaoji was sure the teen would attack him, but suddenly, he raised it above his head to block the incoming Exorcist girl.

"My, fast, aren't you?" the Neah-Allen mused. "Or am I safe to assume that you just ditched that guy in a ditch?"

"He'll live." she replied heatedly, but her doubts were clear. "I won't lose anyone or anything from you anymore!"

"Oh, really? Here, then, catch in Exorcist!" he taunted as he threw the deadly weapon at her. She halted in surprise when the rings flied past her and they buried themselves halfway in the bricks. "Lenalee!" But that proved to be only a distraction from an incoming Blue Bomb. She reacted in time to avoid having her torso caught, but instead her legs were immobilised _again_.

When the Exorcists noticed that the Innocence was out of once-Allen's grasp, they broke away from their stunned opponents and regrouped to stand around it protectively. Confusion could be seen on their faces, but they didn't make a sound.

"Oh my, my aim is quite off isn't it? Well, it has been long while since I had a body." Neah-Allen hummed thoughtfully, then shrugged. "Oh well, whatever, just take it. If you Exorcists are so powerless, not even Innocence can save you." he offered casually, not the least disturbed by the shocked expressions.

"You… just what are you playing at?" Chaoji spat. He didn't understand this Noah's motives and his attitude irked him to no end. Just why did he offer a mean to fight on a silver platter?

"Not only feeble, but stupid too. " once-Allen sighed shaking his head. "The thing is that without an Exorcist, Innocence is nothing more than an insignificant pebble. Just like you humans are."

"Neah, what are you doing?" the Maker asked confused. "They are in our grasp. All of them. Why should we let them go?"

The Exorcists were genuinely clueless by now. Neah really wanted to let them go? Why leave them alive? But not only now, even before… How come the Noah never tried to truly exterminated them? They itched to know the answer but they weren't in position to ask questions freely.

"Now, Earl, killing all of them would be quite anti-climatic. I'm back, shouldn't we celebrate that?"

"But one of them could be the Heart." the First Child pointed out.

A deceivingly angelic laugh erupted from the silver haired boy. "Oh, Brother, you and I both know well that they aren't. There's simply no way that the Heart's possessor would be this _weak_. It's pathetic, really."

The mock-pitiful look was a great blow to the Exorcist's pride, but they knew better than to try and rashly attack, the Noah set a terrifying example what would happen. Still, no matter how lucky they were for being underestimated, this also showed them just how helpless they were against the Noah Clan.

With Allen Walker brightly shining in the Order, for a while, people truly believed that victory could be achieved. That the Destroyer of Time would finally bring an end to this long war. Even if the majority of the personnel didn't trust him, the Exorcists relied on him. That boy was reliable and powerful. For a short while he was around he brought life within the grey stone walls of the Order. He distracted them from the pain and gave them back the will to fight. He even made them forget that he was a human. They forgot that Allen Walker was a human, that he had weaknesses, that he was both strong AND weak.

That's why now he's dead. Because they forgot that he was only human and that even he had his weaknesses. Allen Walker was strong, but he wasn't invincible. He died because he had no support, he had no one to save him.

It wasn't the 14th who killed him, but them.

"I still can't forgive them." the Earl growled harshly, his voice sending every witness on edge. "I can't forgive the Innocence. After all they've done, after the losses I bore… There's no way I won't annihilate every single one of them!"

A black hand patted his shoulder. "Of course, we will get to do it in time." Neah-Allen promised, like a parent that tried to calm their fussing child. "But don't you forget about something important? I have yet to regain my full powers." he cackled." Don't leave me out of the fun." A sinister smile etched itself onto the paleface. "Besides, we already have the key to find the Heart."

_Key to the Heart?_ The Exorcists were stunned to hear that. Tiedoll peeked at his Japanese apprentice, surprised to find a glint of realisation and horror in his eyes. Kanda knew something.

Said samurai's hands tightened around his katana. So _that_ what that guy was. But what did he want from the Beansprout?

_Was he the Heart after all?_

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! What should he do? What _could_ he do? He couldn't just attack them head on, this was his last life! If he attacked now, he'd surely get killed, just like Sokalo! If he was gone then which one of these morons would have the galls to put him down?

He couldn't just let them walk away like this. If he let them go that equals with losing this war! Kanda might despise the Order and humans in general, but he simply had too many things taken away from him to let it go to waste. He didn't kill Alma twice to end up killed like this.

What was the correct decision?

… he didn't know. Damn it, he didn't know. Critical thinking was not his area of expertise.

"Also" Not-Allen continued, snapping Kanda out of his troubled inner turmoil. "I want to be the one to kill them." Kanda further tightened his grip on Mugen, gritting his teeth in irritation he felt from his hopelessness. Was the little idiot really gone? "I wonder… Will Allen feel their blood on his hands? Will he see the betrayal in their eyes? Will I be able to hear Allen's scream and beg me to stop? Ah, I'm getting so excited." Neah breathed as his hands caressed the skin of his own neck. "It's so _good_ to feel alive again. By killing Exorcists."

Kanda took a harsh intake of breath. The day he woke up realising that he wasn't dead, he decided to dedicate the last bit of his life to that Beansprout. In the moment they let their guard down, he'd lunge at him full speed and kill him.

"Let's go home for now." Neah decided. "We have to prepare for the climax of this play, my transformation needs to be completed. Exorcists, for now you'll get a short interlude. Use it well to say goodbye to everything you hold dear. Oh, and just in case you somehow really have the Heart you should prepare. We'll be coming over. Make sure you provide your best hospitality, it would be no fun if you died too soon." The Black Ark's gate appeared, ready to take the new 14th to his Clan.

Panic welled in Lenalee at the scene. She began to struggle, breaking the ice bit by bit. "Allen!"

"Fall behind, Lee!"

She won't. The Noah said the transformation wasn't complete. That meant that Allen still had a chance! The order was to kill Allen if he became a Noah, but since he wasn't complete they still could save him. This was the last opportunity, she couldn't mess this up. "Allen!" Last time, when she fell asleep in Allen's room she managed to get him back by calling his name. If she kept calling him he's surely return. "Allen!" There was no way he wouldn't return! "Allen!" He _promised_! "Allen!"

"Don't try to get there, Lee!" Klaud forbade, fearing that she too, might get killed. "This is an order!"

The Noah of Pleasure and Bonds were gone, only the First and the Fourteenth were left. He glanced back over his shoulder, meeting his former comrade's gazes. "Farewell."

"Allen!" One of her legs were free, just once more, just a little bit more!

Kanda"s body stiffened, ready to attack.

He turned back to whatever he saw on the other side and stepped forward. "Next time we meet, you'll all be obliterated."

With a final yank, she could get herself out. She was finally free.

Just as Kanda was about to put Allen out of his misery, but held back when Lenalee zipped past him with all her speed. She leapt for the crumbling Ark gate, her fingers outstretched towards Allen's disappearing form. _No, not again, not like this!_ "ALLEN!" Her fingers clenched, but could only grab the broken shards that were proof that their friend had been there… but now he was gone forever…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little explanation: I suspect that Allen and everyone is currently in Central-Europe judging from the buildings. Johnny's granny lives in America, so when it's morning in Europe it's night time in America.
> 
> This chapter was a pain to be honest. You guys have no idea how many times I re-edited parts and then the whole while thinking on synonyms. That's the hardest part in writing to be honest.


	4. Fragments of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for MillaAzoulet, Miss_kenopsia, sugarlessblackcoffee_anteiku_style/sinneamonroll and slowlydescendingintoinsanity (inkingink) for reviewing! (And please forgive me the lack of direct replies, I don't know how to reply without starting a thread ;-; How does one ao3?)

Lenalee's body trembled as she stood facing the brick wall, her hand helplessly clenching around nothing.

Almost. Just a little more and she could have saved Allen. But now he was gone forever and the last ray of hope to save him disappeared with him.

Her knees buckled under the weight of sudden realisation, making her fall to the ground like a ragdoll. She desperately tried to muffle her voice, but small whimpers betrayed that she was crying.

Why? Why was she still so weak? She was the first Equipment type to be saved by her Equipment type Innocence and then the first to become a Crystal type. In the past months she had been restlessly training to get stronger, so that she could protect Allen from the Noah. So then why? Why is that that she couldn't do a thing again? Why was she still powerless to save him? Why?

She stopped tearing herself up on the inside as someone called her. She raised her red eyes to look at Timothy's horrified ones. "I'm sorry." he said in an uncharacteristically silent and scared voice. The tone he uses was enough to divert Lenalee's attention away from her pain. Seeing Timothy like this was upsetting. "It's my fault."

The confession felt like a cold knife being shoved in her, a cold chill ran down on her spine. "If only… I didn't possess him…" Tears flowed down on his face, but was even more concerning that this wasn't Timothy's standard cry. His blue eyes were not looking at anything, he seemingly didn't even notice the tears as he was choking on his words. "Then the Noah wouldn't have broken free..." Her eyes widened in incredulity as she realised what Timothy was trying to say all this time. His whisper felt like a bucket of ice cold water dumped on her. "I'm the one who killed him."

Her stomach jumped into an uncomfortable knot in worry for the small boy. "Timothy…" The boy's tears didn't stop, his eyes glazed over making him look like a broken doll; what could she say in a situation like this?

"No. You're mistaken Timothy." Krory spoke up, stunning everyone that he took the initiative. The boy's master, Klaud watched carefully as he walked over to the sniveling child and patted his head in a comforting gesture, snapping him out of that empty state; wet blue eyes turned to look up to Krory's apologetic ones. "You only did what was necessary, because I couldn't bring myself to harm Allen."

Miranda too appeared by Timothy's side and enclosed him in her embrace. "I'm sorry too. " she wept softly. "If I kept him in my barrier this wouldn't have happened."

"You're not the one to blame." Marie insisted gently. "We all failed today."

A mournful silence settled that Chaoji didn't dare to shatter. They all took the loss of their comrade really bad. The memory of losing most of his friends was still fresh in his mind. He could relate how Krory felt about losing his two best friends, he lost Ms Anita and Ms Mahoja to the Noah just like him, he knew the feeling of being ripped from what you cherished. Also, Kanda who suffered so much from the Noah came back, throwing away his freedom just to make sure that the traitor was killed off. Such determination, but at what price? Everything was that guy's fault. Chaoji silently cursed Allen Walker for causing so much pain to his comrades.

At long last Kanda broke the silence. "Hey you." he addressed Chaoji. "Go and ask for backup."

His brows creased in confusion. "Why not just ask through the golems?" he asked.

"Do you think there's anyone left alive in kilometres vicinity?" His question met silence. "That's what I thought. Now go."

Sparing a last glance at the people he grew to care for, Chaoji left, silently wishing that they would be able to finally bury their feelings for their former comrade.

With Chaoji out of hearing distance, Kanda turned back to face Tiedoll. The General understood his wish without words and deactivated his golem. The other Exorcists were puzzled by that, but mirrored him when Tiedoll sent them an imploring look. After the last golem was turned off Kanda spoke up.

"All of you, listen to me carefully. This might be our last chance of talking like this freely without being eavesdropped. I'm telling this to you and only you because I know that you lot still believe in that guy."

Tense silence crackled in the air as the group of Exorcists directed their attention to Kanda, who _trusted_ information to them.

Seeing them leave their depressed state temporarily in favor of listening to what he had to say, Kanda continued. "Johnny and I managed to find him while he was still himself. He was still himself, but barely, he temporarily lost control and hurt Johnny." He saw nervousness and fear glint in their eyes, but he pressed on. There was no use sugar-coating facts. "I managed to snap him out of it and stop him from running off again. But then we got separated and… I realised that Noah and the Church aren't the only ones after him."

As expected, his comrades were confused and concerned. Who and why would want Allen? Could they be the mysterious third side Cross mentioned? "Who is it?" Klaud asked.

Kanda shook his head, annoyed by his lack of knowledge. "I don't know his name and I don't remember seeing him around at the Order. But he infiltrated it somehow. And I'm willing to bet he was the one to kill Cross… and that inspector."

"Are you positive it wasn't Walker?" Klaud asked.

Kanda nodded without hesitation. "He was genuinely surprised when I asked him about Howard Link, he wasn't aware of his death until then."

Lenalee's eyes widened at the revelation. She always trusted that Allen didn't, _couldn't_ have killed Link; on one part she was happy that Allen was proved to be innocent, on the other hand however, that was quickly overwhelmed by fear.

Allen left them to keep them safe from that person, he left them and made a target out of himself.

That's why Allen left without a word. He was scared that they might get to know the identity of his attacker and get disposed of like Link.

He was scared that they might get killed too.

"But that means that Allen is innocent! If we clear him we can get permission for a rescue mission!" Krory said hopefully.

"No." Kanda cut him off, stomping on their blooming hope. "You lot keep silence."

Krory flared to anger, stomped over to Kanda and grab him by his collar. Marie were quick to trying to placate him. "But why?! We could suspend his trial of heresy! We can keep him from dying! We could catch the guy who had Allen expulsed!"

"Because you're already in danger for knowing this." Kanda replied, his words quickly extinguishing the other's raging wrath. "That guy isn't someone we can take on and Innocence is useless against him."

Krory's hold slackened at the revelation, that _Kanda_ of all people said to avoid confrontation. "What? Why? How is that possible?" he whispered in a dying voice.

"That guy is not human. He's Innocence, one without Accommodator, an independent one. That bastard got me." Kanda admitted with a sour expression. "He caught Mugen as if I was swinging a mere sticks at him and he tried to tamper with my memories-"

Kanda's words caught in his throat at the thought.

_Implanted with memories. Don't tell me…_

Knowing Kanda's way of thinking, Marie quickly caught on."Does that mean that the was the one the to put the 14th within Allen?"

Kanda had no answer. Was he? Or not? Even after being tampered with, Kanda was still essentially the same person, the Bean shouldn't be turning into the 14th if he used the same shit on him. But then the person they know as Allen Walker wouldn't exist. Besides why would he implant a Noah within an Accommodator? Or was the Innocence added into the mix later? But then why would he insist on chasing Allen, trying to "save" him? It didn't add up. Damn, he didn't know, he didn't know what that bastard wanted.

"But what does he want from Allen?" Miranda asked fearfully, covering up Timothy's ears, so the already traumatised boy wouldn't have to suffer even more. " He's not trying to kill him, is he?"

Kanda shook his head; he might have not known for exact, but he had a standing point. "No, not kill. He said he wanted to assimilate him, he himself said so when I fought him." He suppressed a shudder recalling the forced synchronization he had to endure, as well as their aftermath. The Beansprout wasn't weak, but even he would be unable to handle being ripped apart like that. The thought of that guy wanting to force himself on the Sprout made him want to vomit another round. "I didn't even know what he was until Tim attacked him."

Krory's eyes once again lit up, desperate to do anything that might get him closer to saving Allen and Lavi. "Tim!" he shouted hopeful. "He didn't go with the Noah! That means he's nearby."

Unease settled in Krory seeing Kanda's grim expression, while Kanda wasn't the most empathic person he understood the Romanian's strong desire to act. The Japanese exhaled through his nose as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a balled up handkerchief he borrowed from Tiedoll. He unwrapped it to reveal its crumbly, black contents. "This is Timcanpy." he announced grimly.

Kanda could see the fragile hope crumble in his comrades' eyes. "Why isn't he regenerating?" Krory breathed, fear and despair spreading in his body. He was devastated, finally he met Allen but it was all for naught. He'd never see his best friends again.

"That guy have pierced him with this." Kanda explained as he pointed at the black wooden chip. "I'll have to ask Komui to analyze this. Maybe it can be a lead to the Heart."

_"We already have the key to finding the Heart."_

Kanda frowned at the memory of the 14th's words. If what he said was true they were in trouble.

"That clue to the Heart…" Klaud thought aloud. "Could it be that the Noah meant that Independent Innocence?

"It appears so." Tiedoll hummed. "Now they both have the Independent Innocence and the Walker boy. We're in trouble indeed." As if "trouble" would cover this shit situation.

"Maybe if Komui fixes Tim we can get to know about that guy." Kanda pondered gazing at Tim's remains; would Komui be able to fix this? His hand clenched around the black shards. This is as good as they got, even if Tim couldn't be revived, maybe his memories could be projected and find out about this guy. Now that Allen was taken by the Noah, he won't return, in the end he couldn't save his saviour. All he had left is to destroy that man.

"There they are!" a familiar, and presently very unwelcome voice shouted, it was Chaoji with the backup.

Kanda quickly pocketed Tim's remains as he shot a glare at the new Finders, some were eyeing their killed companions' remnants with distaste, without doubt hating on the martyr-complex idiot without even knowing what happened, like Central had conditioned them to do.

Chaoji seemed to notice Kanda's displeasure. "Is something the matter?" he asked cautiously.

Kanda eyed him with an unreadable expression. "It's not important." With that he walked past the other, his brain trying to come up with his report.

.

.

.

"-That's all." Kanda summed up. Presently he was standing by a long table where several Cardinals he did not recognise sat next to the snake faced bastard and Komui.

"Interesting." Leverrier hummed, eyeing him skeptically. "Very interesting. So you say that you came back in order to kill the friend that tried saved you from killing your best friend?"

Komui sent Kanda an imploring look to not give into the very obvious provocation of the Inspector.

A three months earlier, Kanda would have drawn Mugen and kill whoever thought that bringing up his trauma in such fashion was funny; however Kanda did learn from his mistake, as much as wrath was boiling in his veins, as much as his fingers twitched to close around that old fart's throat and squeeze until the life left him- he did not. The reason why he was standing here, barely alive with the Bean on the verge of annihilation was because he let himself be provoked by those bastards, even when the Sprout warned him. Even if the Noah pushed him, it was him that destroyed Alma, it was him that caused Allen Walker to disappear. The only thing he could do for him is to destroy the monster he turned him into. "He asked to be killed if the 14th takes over, I just return the favour and grant his last wish."

Kanda was unsure if the man was satisfied with his answer or not, he just nodded. "I see. You can go now, General Kanda Yuu."

Without word, Kanda turned on his heel and left the piece, heading for Komui's office. He had to say that the meeting went surprisingly well, since he did not get a stalker by his side or face a trial of heresy, seemingly they were content to simply have him as a General. Kanda figured there would be catch, but he couldn't bring himself to care, he would carry out his promise no matter what.

He took a seat inside Komui's office, impatiently waiting for the Supervisor. Soon enough, Komui appeared with the company of Reever and Bak. "Sorry for the wait, Kanda, I had to choose the most professional and reliable as you requested." Kanda conveniently left it out of his report how he met the Independent Innocence and had Tim; like hell he would tell them that, all he needed was to have those idiots order them to invade the Earl's Ark to retrieve it or some shit; it didn't take a genius to know that anyone who wasn't a Noah and stepped inside the Earl's territory was as good as dead. Seriously, last time they were lucky enough to have the Bean save their asses in the last minute. "Please show us Timcanpy."

After exposing what he left out of his report, Kanda nodded as he presented the crumbling black substance. Komui winced. "This is horrible. I can't say if we can fix him...but maybe we can try to replay what happened."

"Are you saying that an Independent Innocence did this?" Reever asked.

Kanda frowned. "You don't believe me?"

Reever shook his head. "No, it's just… It's unbelievable… For Innocence to be possible to be independent… maybe if we looked into it we could do that to the other Innocence too and that way there would be no need for Apostles, you guys wouldn't need to fight." he said in a hopeful tone but Kanda knew better, making an Innocence independent had its price; everything did. He had a very bad feeling about it.

But if that Innocence was already independent and so strong, why did he want to absorb Walker? It didn't make sense.

"So you're saying that that's what attacked Walker and Inspector Howard Link?" Bak asked.

Kanda nodded. "Yes, why?"

"It's just… when we rushed there, Renny, Master Zhu and the Inspector… Renny asked something strange."

An uneasy feeling stirred in Kanda's gut, something was fishy. "What was it?"

Bak scrunched his face in an effort to recall the words correctly. "She asked the Inspector 'do you think it appeared'?"

Cold spread within Kanda's veins. "That bastard knew about it?" he asked, voice shaking with anger. "He knows and let that guy take the blame?" He knew. He fucking knew what was after the Beansprout and he let Walker take the blame. Just what the fuck went through that fucktard's head.

Bak shook his head, unable to come up with any ideas. Komui cleared his throat. "Kanda, the three of us will do our best to restore Tim's memories, then Tim himself into original shape. Until then, you go with General Tiedoll and discuss your official promotion."

Kanda grunted in acknowledgement, then left the scientist to their work; he had a lot to discuss with his Master.

.

.

.

"Ah, home sweet home." A melodious voice chuckled as its owner inspected the familiar, yet foreign interior of the new Ark.

"I'm glad you think that way." the Earl chirped, his mood in the skies to have one more member of his family back. "We only have to find Raasura and our family will be complete again. Ah, we have to celebrate your return, Neah."

The white-haired teen smiled back at the elder. "But of course, I'm starving."

"Ah, figured you would say that." Adam chuckled as his suit dissolved around him. "We haven't had burger in forever, I'll go make some. Tyki, Wisely, escort Neah to his room to freshen up, while other's blood on him is a lovely sight I don't want anyone at the table unclean. Then lead him to the dining hall and call the others, we're having a family dinner."

The two respectfully nodded. "Of course, Earl."

"Perfect! Dinner's ready in an hour~" he sang as he practically skipped away, leaving the three to themselves.

Once the Earl was out of hearing range, Tyki turned to smirk at his newly found little brother. "Now that was quite a show you put up back there, had I not known the truth I would have been fooled. You can stop pretending in front of us by the way. We can tell you know, we remember him killing us, so we know who you are." The white haired boy dropped the not so innocent smile at his praise to replace it with a calculating look, making Tyki chuckle. "You truly managed to deceive everyone, right? Allen Walker."

 


	5. A Dissatisfying Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you AFunctionalGrill, MillaAzoulet , Miss_kenopsia , ((:, slowlydescendingintoinsanity (inkingink), .___. for reviewing and everyone else for the kudos, I'm really glad you like to suffer so much ;)

 

Allen's face remained deadpan despite the two Noah's amused ones.

"I must admit I am taken by your authentic performance," Tyki continued. "You talked just like a full fledged Noah, overflowing with confidence and bloodthirst."

Allen's eyes narrowed. "It wasn't hard to imitate your behaviour when I keep seeing it in my dreams; did you honestly think that given the chance I wouldn't use them to my advantage?"

Tyki let out an appreciative whistle. "Spoken like the cheater you are," his face twisted into a sneer. "Do tell me, how did it feel like to see your beloved friends, yet be unable to greet them?"

Allen didn't let himself be intimidated by Tyki's game. "Why don't you tell me how it feels like to be unable to see your friends at all?" he retored.

He didn't show weakness at the dark glint lighting up in Tyki's golden eye. "Snappish, aren't we?"

"You must forgive me, you see, you guys and your wayward brother have been annoying me a lot lately," He replied in a bored tone.

Tyki let out a hearty chuckle at that. "That's family, lad. Now that I think of it, you and Wisely never had a proper introduction, did you?"

Allen's eye flickered to the mockingly bowing fellow whitehead. "Ah, he's the guy who loves to invite himself into other people's head when he's not exploding them."

Wisely gave a snicker at the accurate description. "I am the Noah of Wisdom, Wisely. Pleasure to meet you, brother, I have to say that your mind is a terribly interesting place to explore."

"Yeah, you guys are really family, you're just as creepy as the rest," Allen said in a deadpan tone.

"It's a family trait," Wisely quipped. "Glad to see you display it with such intensity, you were reeaaally scary~"

.

.

.

Allen shuddered feeling Neah coil around him, like a snake choking its prey before devouring it whole and absorbing all of it. He was disconnected from his body, the vessel of his soul stood motionless, waiting for the ego to return. His vision was darkening as poisonous words were whispered in his ear, seducing him into just giving in.

**You're just a monster, you have always been one. So disappear once and for all.**

The darkness around him was suffocating.

_**-I swear I will walk until my last breath-** _

He had no more air to breathe. This is the end.

_Forgive me everyone. It seems I won't make it this time._

The Noah inside him cackled with laughter.

He was engulfed.

.

.

.

It was cold and dark and confiscating and suffocating, just like a void-

_**-Trapped within a vacuum his body curled into foetal position from the agony ripping through his body, that grew gradually heavier with each second until he could no longer hold up his connection to his Innocence-** _

Just before his grip on his consciousness was about to completely slip out of his hold he forced himself to break away from the icy claws of death. The Noah in him snarled in anger seeing him struggle but he didn't, wouldn't stop.

He wasn't over, not yet, he wouldn't give in.

He mustered all his energies to concentrate on the feeling of Marie's strings cutting into his flesh and hold onto the pain in caused. He opened his mind to the tune of Noel Organon and used it as a stepping stone to reach his own Innocence.

_Crowned Clown! Crowned Clown, answer me!_

Allen felt the claws of the 14th sink into him in possessive jealousy but he paid no mind, he can't concentrate on the pain, if he did he'd lose focus and end up devoured for good. He had to connect to Crowned Clown NOW.

_Come on! We promised, didn't we? I promised you that we'd save humans and Akuma right?_

Weakly, he could feel a tiny spark of familiar presence.

_You came back to me for that reason! You let me wield you again for that purpose!_

The spark grew stronger, cutting through the dark, but it still wasn't enough to reach him. The darkness tightened around him more persistently, urging him to just surrender already. Allen wasn't about to obey.

_Despite being a host to a Noah, you still didn't leave me. It's because you still haven't given up on me, right? That's why you keep protecting me, that's why you hold my wound together. It's because despite all, you still want to stay by my side._

The flash was close, he could almost taste it. In a last attempt he reached out his left hand, the limb he shared with the unearthly entity, as much as he could despite his restraints.

_You and me, together as one to save this world, that's our promise. **Come**._

Just as he was about to get dragged down forever a white gloved hand closed around Allen's one firmly. Blinding white erupted, cutting into the hissing darkness, the two opposing forces in a deathmatch slash tug war over their host. Pure white tendrils wrapped around Allen, filling him with much needed oxygen and power to continue struggling out of the Noah's grip. The unwelcome parasyte raked its nails down on him as it tried to keep its grip, but soon enough Crowned Clown managed to tear him away from the monstrosity and envelope him in a protective cocoon. His head was cradled gently like a newborn's, soothingly pressing him into the warm cowl that circled around him; just as he was enclosed into the living armour from head to toe, his mind reconnected with his body.

He was safe for now.

Is what he wanted to say, but no, he wasn't. Yet another wave of Akuma emerged, undoubtedly attracted by Neah's proximity. Too bad, he was busy right now; even though the billowing cape wasn't flowing around him like usual, he could feel Crowned Clown gently burn within his veins, keeping his black blood at bay. This also meant that until he learned to reign his Noah he cannot sleep or summon his Anti-Akuma weapon. He just hoped that his Innocence wouldn't suffer damage from his genes.

On that note, despite the commotion, he was still immobilised by Marie.

Allen mentally apologized as he flexed his body, ready to run off. One by one, the strings tore until he was held no more. He once again scooped up Johnny a bit harsher than needed; he'd apologize for it later, but right now he had to hide Johnny and escape so in case he failed there wouldn't be anyone suffering from the burnt end of a freshly awakened Noah.

He headed to an alley, intending on trying to find a small crook or cranny where he could shove Johnny (at this point even a trashcan would do) and then sprint out of this town, hitch a ride and prolong this deadly game of tag in hopes of getting to know what on earth was even going on.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the white-haired Noah, Wisely stand in his way. While Allen knew that physically he was stronger, the guy could render him useless with that brain scrambling thingy or worse, he'd use it on Johnny to make him snap and turn.

"While the idea is tempting, I don't really want you to go off, it would be a pain to put you down," the Noah spoke up casually, as if he wasn't just eavesdropping on his thoughts. Seeing Allen shift he spoke up again. "Are you sure running away would solve a thing? Wherever you go, we can hunt you down. And then… do you think that we'd really let your friends out here alive?" Allen's body froze at the threat, his silver glare hissing 'don't you dare', but Wisely didn't let himself be intimidated; using the boy's weakness he pressed on. "We are Noah you know, we instinctively yearn to kill and destroy Innocence. I'm sure you're growing more and more familiar with that sentiment every day. You too know that if you don't come with us now we will kill all of these Exorcists, then kill everyone at the Order."

"Lies!" Allen denied. "You said it yourself, you won't take me because want Apocryphos!"

"We already captured him," Allen could already identify the voice, even before he whipped his head back. It was the united Noah of Bonds, Jasdevi leering at the despair growing in Allen's eyes. "We no longer need to keep you away from us. Come, if you want your precious friends to live."

A tense silence stretched in the alley as the four figures stood unmoving.

A nearby explosion reminded Allen that while he was standing here his comrades were fighting for their lives. He hoped that if he ran he'd attract the Noah's attention enough to leave them alone, but the Noah were done playing games.

"I won't let you take him too!" he heard Lenalee's voice.

A deep, malicious chuckle was her reply. "Oh, you're still angry about Eye-Patch?" Allen blanched at Tyki's words.

Lavi.

What happened to him?

A cold chill ran down on his spine, thinking of the worst. Tyki didn't kill Lavi, did he?

"He's alive in our care," Wisely interrupted his horrific thoughts. "But if you leave… well I can't promise he will be."

Allen gritted his teeth his frustration, he knew he was caught. He set Johnny down, looking at him sorrowfully. If he ran the others would get killed. If he didn't he'd disappear.

He knew what needed to be done.

"Allen..." Johnny spoke up seeing the pure anguish that twisted Allen's face.

As if he was only now reminded him of his presence, Allen glanced at him with the sadness he never let show before, Johnny didn't know whether this was a good sign or not.

Allen's eyebrows creased as he forced a smile on his face, making Johnny wince; even with his poor skills of reading people he knew that Allen was pushing himself for him. "Forgive me Johnny," the boy breathed.

"Alle-" the words caught in his throat when he tasted metal in his mouth. Johnny's horrified eyes turned to take in the sight of blood flowing out of an injury inflicted dagger buried within his flesh. Allen slowly pulled the blade - a small knife - out of him with a remorseful expression. Johnny stumbled on his unsteady feet, head spinning from the shock and blood loss, darkness closed in on him as he fell forward. Allen caught his friend before he hit the ground and gently lowered him to the cobblestone.

There was clapping behind him. "Now that was something, Apprentice," Allen heard a familiar voice of the united Noah of Bonds. "Running through him without hesitation, soon instead of sorrow you'll feel ecstatic to kill, especially those friends of yours."

"-nough." Allen muttered, his eyes never leaving Johnny's shivering form.

Jasdevi cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Eh?"

"There's not enough blood."Allen repeated.

Jasdevi blinked in surprise before a sneer bloomed on his face. "Oh? Are your killing instincts already tempting you? Go ahead, kill him and leave your fickle human sentiments behind, sever those useless bonds- what on earth are you doing?" he interrupted his own speech to inquire Allen who opened his coat and shirt to reveal the front of his torso. "'Vomit up blood and spew it all over' was it?" he murmured. The two Noah were completely dumbfounded until two mismatched coloured hands flew into the still healing injury and ripped it open.

Wisely shouted in surprise and Jasdevi cursed while Allen fought the urge to scream as agony ripped through him, his blood was spilling from his wound and his mouth right onto Johnny's own bleeding form. Once black dots started to dance in his vision he stopped aggravating his wound and Crowned Clown once again filled it up with its feathers. He heaved as he banished his dizziness and wiped the blood on his lips away. "This should do."

"H-hey!"

The stutter is Wisely's voice made him glance at the Noah. Allen all but snorted in amusement seeing a tingle of fear in his enemies' eyes, he didn't have to be a mindreader to realise that his little stunt made the two - or three? - wary of him; after tearing his own flesh open like this proved that sanity was doubtful as his actions unpredictable. The Noah were scared of him; he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"I'm going with you," he declared to their surprise. "But I can't leave like this," he lifted his shocker bracelet. "And this needs to be gone."

Snapped out of his shock, Jasdevi stepped forward and created a thick layer of ice over the accessory, which then snapped in half and fell to the ground uselessly.

"Are you going to have a heart wrenching goodbye-" Wisely stopped when he saw what flashed through Allen's mind.

"I'm coming with you but I have my own terms: I want you to leave my friends alone. In exchange, I'll give you a hand with stabilizing the Earl, I don't think he'd listen to anyone but Neah at this point."

"So…. You're going to let him take over?" Jasdevi asked confused.

Allen shook his head. "No. I myself, am going to become the 14th," Allen spared a last glance at Johnny then headed to the exit of the alley.

The stage was set, his audience was waiting in suspense for the main character's flashy debutant commencing his stunning play.

Allen closed his eyes, shutting out the outside world and breathed in deeply to synchronise his own self with Neah's personality. Once he got his role he styled his visage into a perfect replica of Neah's essence, he copied his personality, temper and mindset; he became his own act.

Determined, Allen stepped out of the alley as Neah.

.

.

.

Interpersonating Neah came disturbingly easy. His play was so fluid that he almost fooled even himself. He faintly felt the pain, the sorrow and the despair when the General was killed, but it was shoved behind a muffling glass wall where everything that made him 'Allen' was kept; he couldn't get emotional now when everything he fought for was on stake. For now, he had to be Neah, the destroyer in order to save people he loved.

"So," Allen, partially reclaiming his own sense of self spoke up "I believe the Earl ordered you to take me to the 14th's room, I'd accept that shower. And a change of clothes."

Tyki shook his head smirking as he moved to lead the way. Allen followed him with what he judged as a safe distance, Wisely after him. Allen watched with extra care where he was lead through the dark hallways, he noticed many different portrays hanging. Even though it was the first time he saw them he felt a vague sense of familiarity and dare he say, nostalgia upon gazing at them. They were no doubt the previous incarnations of the Noahs.

Finally they reached an ornate door carved with the roman numbers of XIV. Tyki opened the door and let Allen in first. The white head shot him a warning look but otherwise didn't put up much of a resistance, he stepped inside cautiously, carefully eyeing the room.

The piece was lavishly decorated, much like a castle: there was a large baldachin bed with matching wardrobe and and en-suite bathroom, windows overlooking an artificial land created within the Ark. Allen's gaze was caught by the grand piano sitting in the middle of the room innocently, wordlessly beckoning him to play and probably fade into the darkness to give way to the 14th. He resisted the urge, knowing that it would be terribly stupid; instead, he concentrated on Crowned Clown's symphony.

"There are different sets of clothes in the wardrobe that Road chose for you 3 months ago. Worry not they have been freshly washed and ironed for your arrival," Tyki informed.

Allen shot him an incredulous look but didn't dare to comment on it. He stepped inside and shut the door in the two insufferable Noah's face. Finally rid of his company, Allen slumped against the door with a deep sigh. Acting was incredibly hard and draining.

.

.

.

Once done with his shower and changed clothes he stepped out in the hallway, where Wisely was waiting for him. He was dressed in a tuxedo with grey vest and red necktie, black dress shoes and pure white gloves. The Noah stuck to him like glue and even though he was the one walking in front of Allen to show the way, he felt as if he was watched.

He was led through dark, candle-lit hallways to a large double door, undoubtedly the entrance to the dining hall.

The doors opened from the inside by Akuma servants; since his eye didn't react Allen supposed that the Earl used a barrier within the Ark to contain him so he couldn't escape.

Glancing forward boldly, Allen's suspicions were confirmed, the Head of the Clan was sitting right across from the doors at a circular table, with the rest of the Noah; everyone but the deceased Noah of Wrath and the MIA Noah of Dreams were present. Most of them were eyeing him with varying mixture of suspicion and curiosity, except Lulu Bell and Sheril who positively seethed fury. Allen held the two's glare, not forgetting or forgiving what she did in the old Headquarters and what he did in North America, while the man did the same for having Road protect him from Apocryphos and Lulu Bell about the Egg.

"Neah, please take a seat," the Earl instructed as he patted a seat next to himself.

Allen in the guise of Neah smiled charmingly as he made his way to his assigned seat. An Akuma servant pulled the heavy chair out for him and when he sat down it pushed him to the table. As his two escort took their place the door behind the Earl opened to reveal more Akuma servants with carts crushing under the weight of the dinner.

Allen could feel his mouth water from the scent and his stomach churn from hunger, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that he was starving; ever since he left the Order he never had a fulfilling meal. As much as he yearned to launch himself in the piles of food he held back. Raised as a child of a noble family, Neah had impeccable table manners, if he ate like usual he'd surely give away himself to the Earl and the Noah who didn't know him well enough to realise he wasn't Neah. Well, the latter didn't really matter, as long as he had the Earl under his thumb or wrapped around his fingers he's safe. Still the notion that the fate of the world rested on his way of eating was ridiculous.

Once everyone was served Allen forced himself to eat the soup slowly and have only one second of it - he had to fight back the urge to cry at the thought. Not that it mattered, it seemed that the amount of soup was calculated to cater to fourteen person.

Next was a large plate of steak, vegetables and side dishes: rice, pasta and potato. Allen eyed the familiar dish with shock, but his body moved on its own accord to cut up the juicy meat and place it within his mouth. A familiar taste exploded in his mouth, his hands tightened around the utensils, his eye burned from the tears that he refused to shed. Unintentionally his mind recalled a memory of a time when Mana was still alive.

It was their first Christmas together as father as son, so to celebrate that and Allen's newly appointed birthday Mana went out his way to buy beef instead of the usual, cheap vegetables. He cooked plenty of steak for Allen, who instantly grew addicted to the taste and vowed to work as Mana's assistant to be able to afford such treat. He still vividly remembered wolfing down the meal, almost choking on it and his tears, as that was the first time in his life that he tasted meat at all. He remembered Mana's soft eyes gazing at him fondly. His heart churned at how bitter his favourite meal tasted suddenly.

It was clear now: this person, the Earl was- used to be Mana. His Mana. But not anymore. This was his greatest enemy. An currently he was staring at him with those concerned amber eyes Mana used to look at him. "Is something wrong, Neah?"

It took everything to not break down crying, but Allen held up, reminding himself that presently he wasn't 'Allen'.

Neah didn't have as good control of his expressions as Allen, he didn't need to master such level of deception to survive and execute it from a delicate age day by day, so Allen took the liberty to let some melancholy mix into his smile. "It's been a while since I had a body," he replied chuckling. "And it's been even longer since you cooked for me."

"Of course," the Earl sighed then smiled at him like Mana used to. Allen's heart twisted painfully at the cruel reminded that he was _gone_. "Take as much as you want Neah, Allen Walker's body houses an Innocence, you must be famished." He motioned to the Akuma, who obediently nodded and placed nine more plates in front of him.

"Thanks, Earl."

"Please, call me on my name Neah."

Shit.

Allen tried to remember all the encounters with the Noah, but all the time he was referred to as "Earl" or "Millennie". He had a slight suspicion that he wouldn't appreciate being referred to like that or he'd end up making himself suspicious.

_Need a hand?_

Allen physically had to force himself not to jump out of his seat when he heard the voice of Wisely resound in his head.

Allen replied without glancing at him. _No, thank you_. There was no way in hell that he'd let a Noah have something to hold over him.

He smiled charmingly at Mana- the Earl's face, he chided himself. Recalling the Earl's crazy fit over Mana's name, Allen opted not to try that name. It's not like even this person was his Mana. "Thank you very much, brother."

The Earl appeared flabbergasted, just like Mana used to when Allen said something that caught him off guard, then a very light flush settled on his face, just like times when Mana was extremely happy. _But this wasn't Mana_.

"Of course, Neah." With that he went back to eating peacefully.

Allen exhaled through his nose long in relief. He dodged this bullet.

"This is such a lovely day," the Earl sighed contentedly, making Allen perk up again. "We are finally rid of Allen Walker and you're back. We should celebrate this and make toast."

Allen was amused for a second that he was dining next to his arch enemy without his knowledge, but that quickly disappeared when it sank in what the Earl just said.

Toast. That meant alcohol. He resisted the urge to gag and curl into himself; he really couldn't process that horrible punishment Cross gave him, but he couldn't show weakness right now. Still, alcohol might influence his performance and in such dire situation this wasn't something he could afford. He had to avoid drinking at all cost.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, this body doesn't really handle alcohol well," he quickly injected before the Earl had a bottle of wine opened.

The Earl shook his head."Don't be silly Neah, one glass won't hurt," he laughed.

Shit, he really couldn't escape this one, could he? Unless…

He really didn't want to discuss this so soon, but he was short on time: a human could go ten days without sleep before they die and after the third, fourth day they'd start to hallucinate (yeah, well he's been in that phase ever since he played the piano for the first time). There's no telling when was the next chance to talk peacefully. He had to.

"Brother, really, I'd rather not, the taste would remind me of Cross…" the Earl's expression darkened, "And his betrayal."

The smile that adorned the Earl's face faded away into an unsettling void look. "Cross Marian? What business did he have with you?"

Allen had no information why Cross would ally with the Fourteenth. However, he knew the man well enough to figure out what he wanted. "Cross realised that the longer this war was dragged out the more people would die. He knew that even if we're killed with Innocence, we can reincarnate. He knew that if he betrayed that Allen Walker was my host, then the boy would be killed and I'd simply just jump to another person, while the boy would die in vain. I guess he planned to have all of us back so he'd seal us away or something; a way where we'd be harmless and defenceless, where we'd be forced to be alive without being able to reborn."

"So you say," Sheril spoke up "that he was so eager to see the end of the war, that he was ready to sacrifice his own disciple?"

Allen held the other's calculating look wearily behind a Neah-smile. "But of course. Don't you think that the life of millions is worth more than one? Exorcists can't afford to be sentimental."

Allen didn't like the dangerous glint in the other's eye. "And in what way did that man betray you?"

Allen paused for a second, trying to suppress the unease that stirred within him at that look. "He promised to keep this vessel safe until I awoke, but in the end he grew fond of this guy," he replied pointing his thumb at himself.

Sheril hummed in reply, making the hair stand up on the back of his neck, he didn't like that stare, "Trust issues eh? Funny to hear from the one killed us all."

Ouch. Allen knew it wasn't fully intended to him but he felt this one.

"Well," the man continued "I guess you could say that it's Karma, though you were let off easily."

Okay, now THAT was intended for him. Allen could feel the rage boil in his veins, he was still terribly upset about Alma, but he didn't let his smile betray it. "Are you sure you're not just upset about Road disappearing?"

He controlled his snicker into a haughty grin as he watched Sheril's facial muscles spasm under his skin, visibly eager to kill him in the most painful ways but unable to.

Instead, he spoke again. "I'm sure… she's going to be terribly disappointed that you destroyed her toy." Toy? That's what he thought Road considered him? Oh, poor, poor man.

"Road is extremely loyal to her family. She will understand," he replied with a terribly fake smile.

"And what does this say about you?" Sheril countered. "Seeing that you had no problem killing us. Do you have a valid reason why you betrayed us, dear traitor Neah? Probably not for Cross, seeing that you don't really mind him being probably dead somewhere."

Allen didn't even know why he was surprised at this point that the Noah were privy to such top secret information within the Order. It was a clear message that Sheril had the power to cause mess if he wished so and Allen would be powerless to stop. Also, it was a jab at the wound Allen just admitted: that despite understanding his reasons he still felt betrayed by Cross."Good riddance if you ask me, I don't need him if he can't be trusted," Allen replied, feigning nonchalance. "I don't need someone who loses sight of their goal."

"Then, now that we're back on friendly terms again, will you finally reveal why you did what you did? All for that man, that _human_ **you chose over us, your true family."**

"He is… was my brother," Allen replied, trying to control the irritation he felt towards the Prime Minister's tone.

"Was. I like that. You know, he's good riddance too," Sheril carried on, making Allen clench his fists under the table.

Allen had a really hard time controlling himself, he was already in a more impatient mood, he never got to eat or sleep satisfying enough since he left the Order and Neah's continuous attempts to take over did nothing good to his sanity. However right now he could confidently say that it was better that he was in control, since Neah wanted nothing more to strangle the serpent-like man.

**Coward** , he heard Neah's hiss but ignored it.

"Such harsh words," Allen carried on, trying to avoid confrontation while hoping for the Earl to intervene already. "Aren't you satisfied that he's dead?"

"Thousand years of suffering wouldn't be enough for him, he ripped our family apart," Sheril replied in a deceivingly pleasant tone. "He got what he deserved. I do wonder you know if you meant him as much as he meant you."

Allen's gloves hands almost bent the utensils he held. "We were family too."

Sheril shrugged in reply. "Yeah, like a dog but he's not equal to us."

_Calm down_ , Allen tried to convince himself but he simply couldn't, fury was boiling unforgiving in his veins, clouding his head and judgement, reacting to the hatred of Neah that was clawing at his consciousness.

"And like the traitor dog he was, he met his inevitable end in a fitting way, rotting away slowly then getting killed by the host of his little brother he yearned to, but never got to see ever again."

Unforgivenable!

Allen couldn't think anymore. He screamed. " _Don't speak of Mana this way_!"

Everything went still at the dining table, only Allen's harsh pants could be heard. Seconds ticked by when suddenly, reality hit Allen hard in the head. He realised his mistake a second too late;a sneer spread on Sheril's face. He cursed internally, Sheril managed to trick him and now the Earl too will realise this facade.

Shit. He was caught. The Earl would now realise the truth and kill him when he didn't even have the chance to defend himself. He would have to endure the fear of being helplessly killed.

To Allen's terror, Sheril was leering at him, clearly satisfied by the fact that he riled him up enough to don his disguise and see him so infuriated. The Noah of Desire turned to the Earl to speak, but no sound escaped his throat and Allen could swear he saw a twingle of fear in his golden eyes.

All of the room's occupants froze hearing the sound of crackling. Allen unconsciously he held his breath as his eyes laid on the glass the Earl was gripping.

" _Mana_."

A shiver ran down on Allen's spine at how hatefully Mana's name was spat. Quickly glancing around he confirmed that he wasn't the only one feeling this way, the rest of the Noah were on edge too.

"Mana D. Campbell. There was such a man. Mana D. Campbell. _The man who forced you and me to kill each other!_ " They all jumped when the glass further cracked in his grip, extremely close to shattering immediately, just like its assaulter's grip on sanity. Just before the utensil and hell broke loose, Allen was quick to place a calming hand on the Earl's.

As if snapped out of a nightmare, the Earl looked disoriented at the sudden touch. Just like Mana after an episode.

He didn't spoil it after all, he could still play this off. Allen quickly shoved the memory aside and played his part. "Brother, it's alright," he cooed in a soothing voice, "both Mana and Allen Walker are dead. They won't be coming back. Only you and me are left," he motioned with his hand to an Akuma servant to clear up the mess they made and bring a new glass. The Earl seemed so delusional that even if Allen went completely out of Neah's character he'd still firmly believe he was Neah. Whether it was because of the Earl's proximity or Neah's presence within him, the living machine carried out his order without the barest of twitch.

Another one rolled in a trolley with a pleasantly cool wine, opened the bottle then poured its contents into thirteen glasses. Hopefully the wine would soothe the First Noah and let Allen retire to think of some strategy.

Still holding the Earl's golden gaze, Allen raised his glass. "To my return and the departure of Allen Walker."

"To your return and the death of Allen Walker," the man repeated then downed his glass.

Sheril sipped his wine in silence but Allen could feel his golden gaze burning into him through the rest of the dinner.

.

.

.

Allen let out a somewhat relieved sigh as he finally, finally managed to put the Earl to sleep - he swore the man was just as stubborn as Mana tended to be. He took a deep breath then turned to face the rest of the Noah clan defiantly. "Ok, here's the deal," he spoke up. "I will help you with keeping the Earl harmless. In exchange you will help me win over the 14th."

As expected, there were mixed reactions. "Do you truly think that we'd let such power fall into the hands of some Exorcist?" Sheril spat with venom.

"Would you rather face Neah, then?" Allen countered. "And die by his hands again?"

"Don't you think that killing you would be much more convenient to us?"

"If you attack me while I'm still me the Earl will get out of control and very likely kill you," Allen replied. "If the 14th takes over, then he will kill you and the Earl if I don't become a Fallen one before that and kill you all. As you can see, right now keeping me alive is your interest. The lesser evil, you could say."

Sheril and Lulu Bell still seethed in wrath but they seemed to begrudgingly accept his ultimatum along with rest of the Noah.

Lule Bell brushed past him, her golden iris ablaze then she shifted into a large black panther and left, followed by most of the Noah. Wisely no doubt informed her about his fear of big animals.

Sheril, Tyki, and Wisely remained with him only, the former watching him like a hawk.

"So how do we do this?" Allen asked them.

Tyki grinned at him as he plopped his arm over his tense shoulder, gently guiding him back to his room. "Well, if we want YOU to end up as a Noah not that guy, then at first you'll need some blood transfusion so that you won't pass out, my blood should do, as we are both type O. It would serve you good too, it will make your transformation faster," he stopped to flung Allen's door open and invited himself in, guiding Allen to an armchair.

Allen removed his jacket, then rolled up his sleeve on his right arm to expose a vein, it would be much easier to pierce the skin there and to be honest, in his current state he didn't want to experiment with mixing Noah blood into his Innocence arm. Once he freed the path to his bloodstream he sat down to the furniture, he laid his forearm down with his wrist turned up. Tyki and Wisely were almost instantly there; Tyki too exposed the same patch of skin and sat down the other armchair. An Akuma butler arrived with a syringe connected to a plastic bag to contain his blood. Allen watched in silence as Tyki wrapped a cord around his biceps and flexed, then pierced one of the larger veins that arose. Dark, almost black blood flowed down in the plastic tube, right within the vacuum closed bag, filling it with the thick liquid. Once it was deemed enough, Tyki pulled out the needle and replaced with another, sterile one. He smirked at Allen's guarded look. "Ready?"

After a second of pause Allen nodded. With that, Tyki took the pale arm in his hand and sunk the needle in. Allen sighed, letting his head fall back at the sensation of Tyki's blood enter his body through droplets, as if bleeding into his Noah instincts, he could feel it hungrily devouring the blood of its kin.

"This will probably last a few hours until it's all gone," Wisely informed him. "Use that time to rest even if you don't sleep, tomorrow we will make you into a full fledged Noah."

The world were already muffled for Allen, who entered a closely intoxicated state as the rich Noah blood invaded his system. Between lazy blinks all he could say was a sarcastic "wonderful" before losing himself in the sensation. Even with his hazed mind he didn't miss a scowl and too devilish grins and two devilish grins.

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told that sometimes actors get so involved with their roles that they need some time to return to themselves, that's why Allen acts so Neah-ish even apart from the Earl, because he didn't have time to put down the "Mask of Neah".
> 
> This chapter was fun, but I rewrote the Sheril vs. Allen debate a lot of times, that guy is hella smart.
> 
> Please review.


	6. Haunting Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter with much content. Broships that formed will sail. As the author of this fic, I'm going to take the liberty and let the Marie-Miranda-Krory-Timothy quartet bond, they're so forgotten it's very sad. Oh, and a bit Allen/Noahs. Have a small taste of fun before things go to hell even more than before.
> 
> Thank you nessa11997, thedoodlelord and Miss_kenopsia for the feedback!

 

A shrill scream shook the inhabitants of the corridor awake in the dead of the night. Marie's unseeing eyes snapped wide upon recognising its owner. _Timothy!_

He jumped out of his bed, momentarily pausing to grab his headphones, then rushed to the source. A heavy burden of worry settled in his chest, tightening in every second, punishing him for not being fast enough.

He could hear several other footsteps running to the same spot, but Marie was the closest.

At last he reached the boy's room with Krory, Chaoji, Tiedoll and Kanda in his heels and ripped its door open. "Timothy!"

He received no verbal response, but he could hear the shift of covers as they brushed against each other; Marie realised that the boy wrapped his blanket around himself like a cocoon. From the barely audible whimpers Marie could tell the boy was crying. Not the usual tantrum cry, but a frightened one.

"W-Who?" he whimpered, voice laced with utter terror.

Marie took slow steps as he approached the shivering boy, hands held up in a placating manner. "Timothy," he addressed the child in his usual, soothing tone, hand reaching out to pat his head. "It's ok. You're safe." The mattress dipped under his weight as he sat down. Krory and his Master carefully tiptoed inside while Kanda and Chaoji remained outside watching.

Marie was glad the Exorcist had separate quarters from the rest of the staff, so their rest would be undisturbed. However, the male and female dorms laid on the two fathers end, thus the ladies did not hear the distressed cry. He didn't doubt the capabilities of his colleagues, but if too many people came that would just further aggravate the boy.

Marie enclosed the shaking form in an embrace and started rubbing soothing circles on his hunched back. "It was just a nightmare," he murmured.

The body in his arms stilled then shook his head vigorously. "It's not a dream," he whispered hoarsely. "They're…. They're real. They're still calling for him, even if I can't see them anymore. I'm sure."

Those ominous words rang deafeningly in the silent night, settling an incredible tension in the atmosphere.

"Timothy," Krory called softly, sad to see the child so upset. The soul of Eliade, he had the misfortune to see, burned into his mind forever, a proof that Akuma needed to be destroyed. Seeing all that was enough to leave Krory nauseous and insomniac for a while, he didn't even dare to imagine what Timothy went through. "It's ok. They can't touch you. You're safe."

"It's not about that," he objected. "They can't hurt you for real, just… that icy touch… it's disgusting. Rather than that… it's the sight… the screams… the stink… as if you were dropped in hell all of sudden."

Krory sucked in a deep breath hearing the gory description. So the curse evolved and let Allen experience more terror than before. A burst of pain raced through his body thinking of the boy, one of his best friends, accompanied by the knowledge that he was gone. He shook his head, he couldn't think of that now, he had to take care of Timothy, that's what Allen would want too. After hours of sobbing in his room, he came to the resolution that he'd carry on Allen's legacy and fight for those pitiful Akuma as well. He shook his head again. No, he couldn't think about that now, his comrade needed him.

"Timothy, they can't reach you, ok? They can't." Without that eye, there was nothing to fear.

A choked sob escaped the bundle of sheets. "But big bro… he's still there…"

_He's already dead_ , Kanda wanted to say but stopped himself in time. He couldn't throw around words carelessly, not anymore. Timothy just went through the traumatic experience of losing someone for the first time, and to make matters worse, with his own contribution.

Behind his eyelids Kanda could see his sins replay in a flash. Through his lowered lashes his mind associated the broken, weeping boy with another one burned into his memories. Alma used to cry like that too...

He fucked up, Kanda long ago realised it, he really shouldn't have been such an asshole. Alma visited those pits every day, hoping, yearning that others would wake up too, so they wouldn't have to suffer all alone. If only there was someone who understood them, they would have been able to endure the pain. Just how long have they been waiting, going through those agonizing Synchro tests over and over?

Alma went mad when they realised they were robbed of everything. They went mad because Kanda failed to save them.

Allen too, was disappearing because of Kanda's hotheadedness. Timothy in front of him sat on the verge of breaking and losing his sanity because he thought he was responsible for Allen's death.

Kanda knew how devastating the guilt was which is why…

"Brat," Tiedoll shot him a pleading look, but seeing his calm face he realised in relief that Kanda wasn't about to say anything that would damage the boy's delicate psyche.

It was ok, Kanda wasn't the same man as before, he already buried his grudge and past self along with Alma. He didn't want more Almas. He didn't want anymore tragedy like his own.

"You concentrate on doing your job and destroy Akuma. You still have that old woman and those kids wait for you, don't you?" At the mention of the other children of the Hearst Orphanage, Timothy's sobs momentarily stopped, his attention dedicated solely to what Kanda was saying. Seeing that the younger was paying attention to him, he continued. "Leave that idiot to me."

He didn't want to give the boy false hope and say something like 'I'll bring him back to you'; this was as good as he could grant him. That moronic Beansprout had managed to bounce back every time people thought he was done for, his fucking Innocence saved him. Ironically the substance that hurt him wasn't ready to let go of him. Last time he managed to snap the idiot out of the possession when he stabbed himself. He came back that time. Maybe he could do it again. He might still be saved. Maybe Kanda can call him back again. The idiot already proved numerous times that he was a defiant motherfucker, there's no way he'd go down without a fight.

_One more time, show me and the world that you can live through this._

Glancing back at the boy he was relieved to see him focused on him. Now that the brat calmed down enough for Marie to deal with him.

He turned on his heel, marching away, only stopping in the door as he glanced over his shoulder to look at him. "Go back to sleep," he instructed. "I'll take care of everything."

"Kanda," a meek voice called out, stopping him in his tracks, his silence quietly urging him to carry on. He heard a small sniff before the voice pleaded him. "Please save him."

Kanda remained there for a few more seconds then left wordlessly, brushing past a mournful looking Chaoji without sparing him a glance.

He would. Be it life or death, he'd grant Allen salvation.

.

.

.

The other occupants of the room were left speechless as Kanda disappeared in the night.

As the surprise wore off, Marie turned to Timothy with a reassuring smile. He gently patted the boy's duvet covered head again. "Alright Timothy, you heard him, off to bed with you."

Even though he couldn't see the boy's facial expression, he could feel the distress radiate of him, the boy was scared that his nightmares would return if he was left alone.

So Marie offered him a solution. "Would you like to sleep in my room tonight?" The boy hesitated with the answer so he pressed on. "You know, I'm not used to the new Headquarters yet. It would be great help if you could escort me back, I'm a bit scared that I'd get lost."

That of course was a lie, he just wanted Timothy to feel less uncomfortable with requiring his aid. The new Headquarters fairly well since he was escorted through it several times and Komui did him the favour to make sure that he could coordinate. Komui placed different kinds of wallpapers within the Order, each having different material and texture, every doorknob had different touch and every door was labeled in Braille, he even had several painting placed at the crossroads so people wouldn't get lost, though that didn't concern Marie.

"A-alright," Timothy accepted, encouraged a bit by Marie's request for help. Marie nodded and held his hand up, ready to accept Timothy's one. When Timothy touched him he enclosed the small hand in his much larger one and gently pulled him out of bed. The covers fell to the ground with a soft thud, Krory hurried over to put them back and scribble a short note to Emilia of what happened. Marie left, letting Timothy guide him back to his room. Soon enough the two reached Marie's room where Marie thanked the boy. "Thank you, Timothy."

The boy didn't reply but Marie could hear his hair swish as he nodded bashfully. Marie took over the lead and guided his new roommate to his bed. He slid back then raised the covers as an invitation, which the boy hesitantly accepted. Marie could feel the bed dip next to him and the heat of another person as the small body curled up next to him, cheek pressing to his side. Marie reached over to the boy's blue hair and started rubbing soothing circles on his head. It didn't take long for the breaths to even out.

Content that the boy found his peace at last, Marie allowed himself to rest too.

.

.

.

_No._

**Kill them.**

_No_ , Allen repeated stubbornly despite the insistent pulsating pain on his temples. He could feel Neah grow stronger from Tyki's blood and it took steadily greater effort to keep him down.

**You'll die,** he spat, loud enough for Allen to believe that Neah was corporeal and hissing in his ear venomously. **They're just waiting for an outlet to go back on their word. If you don't kill them now they'll kill you.**

_I said NO._

**Ignorant brat,** he snarled. **That's it, I thought you'd be amusing but I had enough of you. Get out of the way and die for all I care.**

_Oh, yeah sure it sounds fantastic! Go ahead, take over and get killed again, like last time; I'm sure it's going to be lots of fun._

Whether Neah couldn't come up with a snappy response or they'd been simply interrupted, Allen would never know.

"All done," Wisely announced cheerfully as he removed the needle, tapping on Allen's arm to get him back to reality, effectively interrupting his debate with the 14th. Allen had a sneaking suspicion that he was eavesdropping on the whole conversation and sat back listening amused as he annoyed the hell out of Neah and vice versa. "It's all in you now." He took hold of Allen's arm, who was still a bit in daze and yanked him to his feet. Allen stumbled a bit, his hand slowly rising to touch his head.

"Ah, yeah, I forgot, you're probably feeling like someone who's got alcohol poisoning or was run over by a carriage," he laughed, not caring about the obvious headache his loud voice caused.

Allen glared at him but his eyes snapped wide open when he was swept of his feet and hauled over the broad shoulder of the Third Noah. The boy quickly slapped his hand on his mouth, trying to calm the nausea washing over him.

"Could you not toss me around so much?" he asked in a quivering voice. "I feel like I'm going to throw up… Besides,shouldn't _you_ feel a bit lightheaded? You were drained like half litre."

Allen could _hear_ Tyki smirk. "Worrying about me?" he laughed. "That's so like you. My body already restored the missing quantity," he informed patting the small of his back. "Once you fully turn you'll know."

"Could you not carry me in such undignified way? I- WOAH" Allen let out a small yelp when he was grabbed and tossed in the air, landing in Tyki's arms. In bridal style.

Allen's cheeks burned with embarrassment at the shamelessness. "I meant 'put me down'! Not shift position!"

"You didn't say that so I had no idea you meant that," the elder replied, clearly playing to ruffle his feathers.

Allen sucked in a breath, trying not to play into Tyki's sticky hands. "Please put me down, then?" he tried.

Tyki gave him an all too cheerful smile. "Not a chance."

Allen sighed but gave in, realising that even if he were put down, there's no telling if he could walk, he lost almost half of his bloodstream and Tyki's blood made him feel feverish. With a sigh, he ceased his struggle and let himself lay his head against Tyki's collarbone, right where he had sliced him, his scar resting on his carrier's. Even in this state, he still couldn't let himself go completely, instead he paid attention to where he was taken (even if he had absolutely zero chance of getting away in this state… or just navigating in general).

When his door opened he was once again in a dark, jack-o-lantern illuminated hallway, but instead of the direction where the dining hall was, he was taken the other way. The path lead them to a winding staircase. Allen was sure it'd take an eternity to reach to the end. That's why, his heart skipped a beat when Tyki just jumped down. Allen suppressed the urge to scream as they were falling several levels, until Tyki gracefully impacted into the ground, as if he merely jumped two stairs.

Allen painfully swallowed back the bile that was burning his throat. "Do that again and I _will_ throw up on you," he warned coarsely.

Tyki merely chuckled in amusement as a reply.

Once his vision cleared, Allen glanced around, surprised to see a great, deserted plain without any form of life. The scenery stretched as far as the eye could see. Behind him he could hear a light panting as Wisely reached down.

"You almost caused me a heartattack Joyd," the younger rasped, glancing up to the spot where Tyki jumped off and Wisely himself started a mad dash to not lose them.

Tyki frowned lightly at the name. "I told you already to call me Tyki."

Allen's tired eyes flickered between the two, his mind reeling to process this scene.

Wisely has called Tyki on a name that seemed to upset him, a strange kind of name, like what they referred to each other at the North American Branch. Names like 'Deizasu' and 'Mercym'. 'Wisely' too was probably this codename. 'Joyd' sounded similar and dare he say, familiar.

Maybe it was the name of that person who he fought on the Ark. It was the beast he freed during that fight, that _was_ Tyki Mikk, yet it _wasn't_.

**It's his Noah, you dumbass.**

_Yeah, I just figured it out, you're a step too late being a smartass, thanks_ , he retorted sarcastically.

Guilt reared its head the more he thought of it; it was his fault that he couldn't exorcise Tyki and save him, instead he unleashed on him a fate similar to his; a life where he needed to be constantly alert or else he'd get devoured.

The smart thing would be to exploit this and somehow manipulate Tyki into helping him. He had no plans of staying here, once he got what he wanted he would have to run. And then, he had to free Lavi.

Lavi, it's been so long since he last talked to him. The last time he laid eyes on his friend when he saw Cross for the last time too, when he was told about the 14th, when the life he planned out went to total shit. They were sent on separate missions after that and then he wasn't allowed to take visitors when he was imprisoned. What happened with him that time? When did he get abducted and why? Why would the Noah take hostages? The Noah Clan proved already that they don't need much help to invade the Order so why?

He'd have to figure it out later once he was safe, but first he needed to think of how to get to him and then how to get out.

He knew that the Noah would never let him go now, so he had to make a run for it and for that he needed help. He couldn't control this Ark so he couldn't leave like that. He needed help from the inside.

**Ho?** The Noah within him sneered in twisted amusement. **Maybe you're not that hopelessly stupid after all.**

But then, he'd put Tyki in immediate danger too. What if his family punished him for disobedience? Or force him to submit to his Noah? Or not even bother with it and just kill him? Or force him to prove his loyalty by killing his human friends? He shuddered at the thought. No, he couldn't push Tyki into choosing.

**A coward to the end.**

Allen resisted the urge to physically roll his eyes.

"Indeed you're quite the fool to worry about your enemies like that," Allen's eyes snapped wide open as he glanced over to Wisely smirking at him. "Though I guess that's what makes you so interesting." The bastard was eavesdropping again. "No need to worry, we'll never let you go. The moment you try to run or even think of it, I'll set the alarm and the Earl himself will come to capture you."

Allen's eyebrow twitched in irritation, he was getting fed up with the Noah's antics.

So Wisely liked to peek huh? It would be… a shame… if Allen were to think of something horrible that burned into his eyes. Like when he opened in on Cross for the first time. Neah gagged in his head.

Allen watched in smug satisfaction as Wisely's face turned green and his additional eyes rolled back into his forehead. Tyki took a cautious step back wisely as he saw his brother hunch and actually vomit.

"Wisely what the hell?!" the elder screamed skitting back from the bile while Allen held his snickers.

_That's Traumatic Experience with Cross No. 37_. Allen had to admit he was satisfied from the look of pure (and green) terror shot in his way. He smiled at Wisely mockingly. _Depending on how annoying you are I'm going to show you something 'nice'. As you can see, I still have plenty of them in store._

"Boy, do you have something to do with this?" Tyki asked wearily. The smile he got in response sent chills down his spine. Tyki was tempted to just drop the boy and run, but a more rational side of him and his pride didn't let him, even if he felt a bit intimidated. The look he was given and the whole way the boy handled this situation reminded him of the Earl when he was pissed.

"Nothing at all," the boy all but chirped. Yes. It was his doing, definitely. Maybe they gave him a bit too much blood and it already poked awake his sadism. This time Tyki had the common sense not to interfere. _You're on your own, Wise._

Besides, he had it coming. He really needed to cut down on peeping.

Allen was satisfied to see that Tyki chose to stay out of this mess and grossing Neah out was an unexpected bonus. He glanced back to the Noah of Wisdom.

_Oh, and if you were to think that you'd risk watching the rest I'd strongly disadvise it,_ he told the two Noah listening in his head, _they're in chronologic order._

He couldn't contain his snort of amusement over Wisely's pitiful whimper. He was almost sorry. Almost.

Allen jumped when he heard the the sound of clapping behind him.

"Splendid."

The blood froze in Allen's veins, so did the confident smile on his face. That voice. He knew that voice.

"Wherever you are… no matter how risky you never lose that fire within you."

As his initial shock wore off Allen struggled in Tyki's arms to get a look at the person talking to him.

_Impossible. It can't be._ He forgot to breathe for a second when he caught a flash of red hair. The wild locks framed a painfully familiar face.

Getting tired of his fiesting, Tyki finally put him down so Allen could meet the familiar green iris. Whirling around he was surprised to see an old friend stand behind a smirking Sheril and a cold Lulu Bell with arms crossed.

"Lavi," he breathed, his trembling voice laced with disbelief.

The small spark of hope and happiness was ruthlessly crushed in his chest as he took in the sight of his friend. Lavi was out of his usual Exorcist coat, though his pants were the same and he kept his boots; he didn't wear anything over his green shirt and his usual bandana and obnoxious orange scarf was gone. Iron Hammer was nowhere to be seen, it had been undoubtedly destroyed. But the most outstanding clue that something was horribly wrong was the look in Lavi's single eye. While his lips pulled into a familiar lopsided grin his eyes were void. He couldn't see anything in the.

A shudder ran down on his spine. He knew that look. He remembered it, the punches, the kicks, the flames, the taste of hopelessness and betrayal.

"This record is going to be terribly interesting."

This person wasn't Lavi anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAVI IS BACK, UN-FUCKING-BELIVABLE! Oh wait sorry, a false alarm, it's him but at the same time not him haha. I saw this idea of teaching Wisely who's boss in another fic: A Trial Basis At Least on AO3, check it out it's amazing. Also, follows, favourites and reviews are greatly appreciated, please don't hesitate to tell me how you feel about all that happened.


	7. A Nightmare You Can't Wake Up From

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allen will learn a lot of painful stuff. Sheril is even more of an ass and jabs Allen's weaknesses. More characters descend the bus. More Timothy comfort, because someone needs to protect that child from all the horrors I have in store.

Allen stood in the desolate land with legs rooted to the ground. He was surrounded by several Noahs but seeing what's left of his friend he couldn't bring himself to care.

**I told you this would happen.**

Allen registered that someone was talking to him but it didn't get to his brain who it was or what they said, his mind was in disarray. He couldn't tear his eyes away from that empty green one.

"Lavi," Allen shook his head in disbelief as his eyes roamed over the familiar stranger "What are you doing here? Aren't you and Bookman supposed to be at the Order?"

Seeing an almost malicious glint in the Bookman Junior's eye a shiver ran down on Allen's spine.

"He's already gone" he replied, making Allen jolt just how detached he sounded, as if he was just some curious onlooker reading from a script. The smile he wore squeezed Allen's heart painfully. "And 'Lavi' is looong gone as well. The only one left here is me."

When he looked this person in the eye he knew it didn't belong to his friend anymore, but hearing it said out loud… it was agonising. Devastating.

His eyes burned from the tears he just couldn't shed anymore. Lavi disappeared. He was gone. Erased. Destroyed. Devoured by another person. He died on his own without anyone knowing a thing.

Would he die like this too?

**What a nice friend you are, worrying about yourself when you just heard your friend died.**

Allen physically flinched Neah's mocking voice echo like a tower's deafening bells in his head.

**I wonder if you truly love him… if you truly love your friends at all.**

Allen had to force himself to regulate his breathing to push off Neah's oppressive presence and his hurtful words. In a part of him he did think Neah was right, his guilt clawed at him viciously for that passing thought. He did feel awful, like a coward, a traitor he was accused of being but he couldn't succumb to his grief.

His loose fist clenched tight. It was painful, not being able to properly mourn Lavi, but he had to continue walking forward or else they were all doomed.

He took a deep breath then looked back in the cold emerald iris, ignoring Sheril's smug look over his crisis. "If you're not 'Lavi' anymore… then who are you?"

He suppressed another shiver at the way Lavi's eyes narrowed. His whole demeanour was so _wrong_. "I haven't thought of a name," he replied honestly. "Not that it matters, I don't need it anyway. My predecessor didn't promote me before he left, so I guess I'm not a proper Bookman yet. Meh, it's not like he will, just call me Junior."

Predecessor. Not Gramps, not old man, not Panda. _Predecessor_.

Allen's chest felt incredibly cold at the insensitive manner. Even his few, but so, so guarded and precious attachments were ripped apart.

"Junior," he repeated, doing his best not to choke on the name that just didn't fit the person standing in front of him, his whole being wanted to call him as-

But they weren't the same. Junior was a whole world different from 'Lavi'. 'Lavi' was an obnoxious, lovely idiot who was too smart for his own good and despite being guarded he was never malicious. This person's behaviour however just put him on the edge, he reminded him of some coiling snake that was ready to pounce on any given moment. Even his _face_ looked different. The formerly warm eyes now penetrated his whole being like ice cold daggers, taking him apart and analysing every single detail to map out his weaknesses.

The problem was that he already knew them. And if he knew them the Noah knew them too, which explained why Sheril knew where to prod.

Sheril. Merely thinking about the man created an uncomfortable twist in his gut. Similar to what he was feeling when he looked at the person who used to be Lavi.

 _Similar_. Sheril. Lavi. Junior.

As if he mirrored the Noah's personality. But why would-?

_No. It can't be._

Pure fury bubbled up, boiling as it spread in his body. He didn't think when he stepped past Junior and flung his left fist towards Sheril's face, only to be stopped by the Noah's ability. Allen struggled to shake off the invisible strings but he was still too weak to do so; Neah's closeness made his strength wane dangerously. "You bastard!" He snarled, he just couldn't stay calm near this Noah.

"Your guess is right," Sheril said, smiling at him with an air of authority around him. "I did play with your friend- oh I'm so sorry, _once_ _friend_ here." He sighed dramatically, shrugging, completely ignoring Allen's wrathful glare. "I didn't mean to make him snap, thinking that my beloved Road might feel like playing with him, but in my worry for her I might have gone a bit overboard."

Allen expected no warm treatment from the Noah, but for them to torture 'Lavi' until he broke was not something he expected. Poor Junior rather left behind 'Lavi' because he couldn't handle it and created a new persona that mimicked his abuser's - this was a typical way of coping. Become like the one who was strong enough to destroy you, that way you can become stronger. The only way Junior could preserve was to discard 'Lavi'.

Relishing Allen's hatred and therefore his absolute attention dedicated to him, Sheril carried on. "Well, if he was this weak to begin with he wouldn't have stood a chance against my lovely daughter again. Last time he only won because Road underestimated him. Speaking of her, I really don't want you to use that kind of language near her, so I'll punish you."

The sickening sound of bone smashing hit Allen's eardrums as his flexed right arm suddenly twisted to an impossible degree until his veins tore and bone slid out of the confines of his flesh. He couldn't suppress a scream at the pain, neither could he stop himself from collapsing to half-kneeling position, blood flowing out from him into a dark pool.

Sheril watched in satisfaction how the Fake God's Disciple slash traitor kneeled like the worm he was. "You know, this doesn't even come close to what I did to this guy over here. I really did a number on him," he boasted laughing as he clasped his palm on Junior's shoulder. "He's always been fucked up in the head but he ended up so bad, Wisely doesn't even feel like looking into him anymore."

"You!" Allen grunted as another wave of pain rushed through him, accompanied by dizziness. No, he couldn't pass out, if he did he'd never wake up again.

Sheril shook his head with a dismissive look. "No cursing, remember? You don't want me to punish you again do you? Or is it that mere physical torture won't be effective? As a Parasitic user you're bound to have a generally higher pain tolerance, but you do have other weaknesses don't you?" Allen's breath caught in his throat when Sheril's grip tightened around Junior's shoulder. Seeing that Allen understood the implication the Noah smirked. "Now that's a good boy."

Allen didn't object but his jaw tensed as he tried to regulate his breathing. Sheril won this round but Allen is not the one to accept defeat. He was worried for ruining Tyki's life but he had nothing against spoiling Sheril's. Sheril _will_ pay.

As if sensing his thoughts the Noah spoke up again, the Ark opening up to his right. "If you're thinking about using the 14th's power once you obtained it to attack me..." Allen's eyes widened when four human forms entered, one of them dragged and pushed to the ground. Grey eyes met equally shocked maroon. "Remember that I still have backup plan."

Allen was so surprised seeing the blond hostage, he didn't even notice the shame as he averted his gaze. "Link?" Allen shook his head in disbelief. "You're alive? But… Kanda said you were killed." His mind flashed back to the fateful night Link provided him leeway from Apocryphos. So it didn't kill Link in the end? But then why was Link declared dead?

It couldn't be… "Did you… follow me because you wanted to save me?"

A shrill laughter exploding from Sheril and the way Link basically dug his anguished face into the ground betrayed the ugly truth.

" _Save_ you?" Sheril laughed wiping his tears from his eyes, very much aware just how hurtful his words would be to the boy he despised so much. "He's not here for _you_ , he's here because Leverrier wants the 14th! Who on earth would want _you_?"

A hand settled on Allen's left shoulder, though not as heavy as the weight in his chest. Tyki leaned down to purr poisonous words in his ear. "As you can see, he betrayed you. Or he never even cared for you in the first place. The fact that he's ready to leave you behind is proof of this. You haven't noticed it, but he's been watching you all this time while you tore up yourself worrying over him. He's been following you, lying in wait for the 14th to kill you. He doesn't care for you. He's the same as those friends of yours, he didn't even _try_ to save you. You have no place among them anymore." His grip tightened in what Allen couldn't decide if it was mocking or genuine empathy. "But you do have a place here. You are one of us. You will be. Soon. Come and take your place as the 14th, Allen."

The three figures kneeling on the ground beside him raised their heads, their hood falling back to reveal their faces. Allen choked back a gasp when he met the red eyes of the remaining Thirds.

"Master Noah," Tokusa addressed him with a longing look in his eyes, "Please, wake up soon."

Allen could barely control the tremors running amok in him. That look, that yearning. It was the same as Mana often gazed at him.

They were _looking_ at him but it wasn't _him_ who they saw.

Neah sneered at is thought and to Allen's utter mortification the parasite had the nerve to give him the sensation of someone patting his head.

Allen never felt so alone and unwanted in his whole miserable existence. He was thoroughly cornered this time.

In the end that's all he was in the end wasn't he? Just a replacement, a stepping stone for someone else. Even to have this many people to even look at him was because…

"You seem to forget that the ones making then turn on me was you," he replied, his voice trembling, but his heart still unwilling to give in. He glared right back into Sheril's surprised expression. "I will never forget what you did to me and my friends. It doesn't matter if they already let go of me, they knew sooner or later this day would come. They're just keeping my request so I can't give in to your petty bullying and break my promise. I will defeat the 14th and none of you will stop me." He shook off Tyki's hand off his shoulder but from the light chuckle he heard by his side he concluded that Tyki didn't feel offended by it at all.

"So how are we doing this?" Allen asked glancing at Wisely and Tyki instead as he was sure he couldn't handle anymore of Sheril.

Wisely flashed an all too cheerful smile at him. "Just stay where you are, I will crack your repressed memories open and let you have a lovely time. You're quite in a progressed state, you're really close to fully turning, your healing arm is a proof of that."

Glancing down in utter shock, Allen could confirm that this was true, the arm Sheril shattered was almost back to normal, it had significantly less twists and his veins have closed up, he could see his own bones retreat into his flesh then the skin sealed it away without leaving a scar. It was as if Sheril never broke his arm, the only indication that something happened was that his arm was coloured by the typical Noah tan and it slowly crawled upwards.

"You gave him blood," Sheril's ask sounded like a statement, he knew what happened.

Tyki shrugged nonchalantly, his normally sharp instincts dismissing Sheril's dangerous look, knowing that his brother would never hurt him. "He's turning anyway, so why not speed up the process?"

"You never give blood to anyone," his brother pointed out.

Tyki frowned a bit confused where his conversation was going. "Well, you have no need for it? We can regenerate in a matter of seconds, but he's still a fledgling, he still needs to be looked after."

Tyki probably meant to fluster him but instead he unintentionally gave away Allen what Sheril's weakness was. It seems that the Noah of Desires felt some deep connection slash obsession for the hosts of Pleasure and Dreams. It was understandable really, Dreams, Desires and Pleasure are closely tied aspects. But that wasn't the point, what mattered that they gave away the important chunk of information that he carved.

If Sheril wanted to play then he wouldn't back down, Allen was going to use his weaknesses ruthlessly as well. For now he'll just store away this fact in his brain and let Sheril savour his victory, until he thought of a proper way to give back what he gave - with interest. He wasn't a great schemer, but he wanted to see Sheril's reaction at all cost - of course, only after he was sure that Link and Junior were in safety.

"So, how are we doing this?" he asked turning to Tyki and Wisely.

Wisely took the initiative. "It's simple really. You will stay right where you are, I'm going to crack your repressed memories open and hope the best while these previously comrades of yours will hold you down."

"Ah. Lovely," Allen replied dryly. He really wasn't looking forward to this, but it needed to be done. "Then," he glanced up to meet Tyki's eye, aiming to look as a flustered individual who attempted hiding their insecurities behind a forced confidence, "you should go as far away from me as possible, I might end up hurting you."

Tyki blinked owlishly before he burst out laughing. "Oh boy," he reached out to tousle Allen's hair playfully, "you'll need much practice before you could hurt someone, especially me. As long as it's not Innocence it cannot hurt me. Speaking of which, we should remove the damn thing before we start." He reached for Allen's left arm, only to be stopped by the Noah of Wisdom.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I totally get how you feel Joyd, but if you remove the Innocence that's the exact same as defusing a bomb. Wait until the barrier is done." He made shooing moves, moving away from Allen what he judged to be a safe distance, while the Thirds moved to surround him in a triangle.

"Will the barrier be fine this way?" Lulu Belle asked, eyeing the three. "Only three won't be enough to contain a Noah."

"That's a good point," Sheril hummed in agreement as he glanced down to meet the eyes of Link. "You," he addressed the former Crow, "you can do barriers. You were the one to actually capture the 14th. Hey you," he called out to the closest of the Thirds, who happened to be Tevak. "Undo his binds, he's going to help you with the barrier."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Lulu Belle inquired eyeing the former Crow in disdain. "He might not be an Exorcist, but he's still a formidable opponent."

"Nonsense," Sheril shook it off, "even if he had the motivation to and was powerful enough to defeat the Thirds, I'm still here. He has nowhere to run. Besides presently his interest is the same as ours, awakening the 14th."

The girl bowed her head, then released her captive from the Binding Wings. Link slowly rose to his feet, his head casted down, not even daring to look at his charge, he just silently followed Tevak and surrounded Allen with the Thirds.

The four of them summoned the seals with practiced ease as they did countless times before, when the six of them were still together. The paper slips swished through the air, forming a cubicle around the boy in the middle.

Allen let out a shaky exhale when Tyki stepped up to him, smirking that he finally gets to slice off the pesky Innocence from his soon-to-be brother. Allen closed his eye and braced himself for the disconnection with his Innocence and the connection with his Noah.

_I'm sorry, I promised you to never leave you again… but if I don't you're going to be destroyed with me. I have to do it to save you… My friends… Ourselves. To keep walking forward. If I don't make it please escape._

Allen could feel Crowned Clown object to the idea, but Allen didn't care. He danced around this problem for too long already, it even costed the life of a fellow Exorcist and many other comrades. Those deaths; they couldn't be for nothing.

He spared a final glance to Lavi then Link and his siblings, his determination to save them strengthened, but the same could be told for his anxiousness and despair. He was scared. Terrified. What if he failed? What if he did end up devoured? What would happen to them? He was tempted to ask Link to finish him off in case the 14th won, but he knew that it wouldn't happen, Link made his decision to win the war, even if it costed Allen's existence. Besides, if he did get out of control, he doubted he'd be left alive long enough to hurt anyone. Sheril wouldn't let him pass easily... Strangely enough, this also filled him with a strange sense of comfort, his way his friends wouldn't be forced to kill him with their own hands.

He was scared more than ever, but if it meant he could protect them, Allen was ready to lay down his life.

He turned his head to meet Wisely's gaze and the next second he was already standing in that desolate inner world. The ground was covered by cobblestone and the earth that remained uncovered sprouted dead trees; a pond opened in the middle of the path, but its murky darkness appeared to be poisoned. As usual it was terrifyingly empty and reeked of death. Something that appeared to be snow fell from the sky, but it wasn't cold. Allen reached out to catch one flake and rubbed it between his fingers. To his utter surprise the substance crumbled into what appeared to be dust. It was ash.

Glancing up, Allen saw the Noah of Wisdom from a safe distance from him as he inspected the scenery with his sharp, suspicious and maybe a bit intimidated gaze.

"Is something wrong?" Allen asked the visibly disturbed Noah.

The fellow Brit shook his head. "I didn't exactly expect sunshine and rainbows but… well, whatever. It seems I don't even need to do anything, the stage is set. What matters is that body of water over there. That's the Memory. It was supposed to slowly rise and suffocate you."

"So you say if I submerge there I will turn," Allen concluded, which Wisely confirmed with a nod. He let out a quick exhale, suppressing his fear.

"What in the-?" Hearing Wisely's startled voice and an all too familiar presence Allen glanced to his left, closing in at an insane speed. Crowned Clown approached them in its pristine white brilliance; for Allen it looked like an Angel of Salvation, though Wisely probably saw it as some White Grim Reaper; the Noah practically hid behind the Exorcist as the entity headed for them, knowing that right now his own psyche was vulnerable to the Innocence. He stole nervous glances at Allen with a growing sense of urgency as the threat came closer and closer, while Allen just stood there with what seemed to be disbelief.

A wry smile quirked on Allen's face. "You came to see me off? ...Thank you, that's really kind. But I'm afraid our paths must part here. Goodbye, Crowned Clown."

Just as the Crystal of God was about to reach Allen, it abruptly exploded into fine dust, the only thing that reached its Accommodator was a soft breeze before it died away.

Heavy seconds ticked by until Wisely finally dared to poke his head over Allen's shoulder, relieved to see the monster gone. He glanced around in the macabre land again then stepped away from the fellow white head, embarrassed to be seen by the enemy - once enemy, he reminded himself, soon they're going to be brothers - but also grateful to have been protected.

Wisely cleared his throat before meeting Allen's eyes. "No need to rush, just nice and easy."

Allen spared him a glance, surprised that the Noah sounded almost _concerned,_ seeing how he eagerly bullied him.

"No rush, huh," he repeated eyeing the thick, black substance; he could swear it was beckoning him to come. With a large inhale Allen jumped. The darkness welcomed him with open arms and victorious cackle.

.

.

.

On the outside Wisely let out a weary sigh at Allen's recklessness. "He's engulfed."

Tyki nodded, confidently approaching the unconscious boy kneeling on the ground, the annoying left arm secured by the former Crows. They all saw the demonstration how Walker's Innocence attacked on its own - a comrade at that - because it judged that its Host was in danger. Wisely reasoned that it would be for the best if he was cautious and for once Tyki agreed. Don't misunderstand, his whole being was trembling in excitement at the notion that he could fight an intelligent Innocence, the closest thing that was to Apocryphos; however, that would endanger their new family member and that was a huge no-no.

Pushing aside his musings, Tyki kneeled behind to the boy and let himself sneer - finally that damned obstacle would be gone. His claws extended in anticipation, tips burning from Dark Matter, with one hand he grabbed a hold of the heavily bound arm, then with a swift move he slashed it off. Tyki had no time to relish the limp arm and all the blood splattering as suddenly a malicious, oppressive aura flared up in front of him and lashed out. The Noah of Pleasure parted with a few strands of his curly hair as he leapt away with all his speed, out of the barrier where the danger couldn't follow him.

Allen was wearing an uncharacteristic, insane grin and giving disturbing snickers, while his eyeballs were slowly dyed black while his skin took on their typical tan. His irises were rolled back into his skull as there was no consciousness ruling the body, merely the raw instincts of Destruction. The ground trembled as he hovered above it, his bleeding stopping, the previously shed blood reconnected with the stream and formed a weapon that seemed to be a crossing between a whip and a mace. The item experimentally slammed to the ground, creating a powerful shockwave, which was only a secondary effect to the earth that took on a greyish hue - it lost its life.

Tyki eyed the reborning Noah with interest. "Isn't his bloodlust only supposed to develop once the transformation is over?"

Wisely shrugged. "Maybe it's because he's Destruction. Slaughter makes him stronger. Perhaps killing helps alleviating the pain. Or merely he yearns chaos as that's his nature. Oh, and don't destroy his arm just yet, we might need it to suppress him in case things get out of hand."

"Well, it doesn't really matter," Tyki decided, throwing the Innocence arm to Wisely, who flinched violently at the unexpected action. It was an unspoken rule that the winner will get to destroy it; as Tyki readied himself to engage in a deadly game with his newly awakening brother. "This is going to be a lots of fun."

.

.

.

Klaud watched as Timothy consumed his breakfast at a sluggish pace. He could sleep better thanks to Marie's soothing presence, but the lack of sleep was still taking toll on him.

She let out a weary sigh. "I see, so that's what happened."

Kanda didn't reply, but the look in his eye betrayed everything.

Klaud rubbed the skin of the bridge of her nose, cursing the fact that she was too far to hear her student's desperate cries. "Thanks for looking after him."

Kanda just shrugged. "Maybe it would be for the better if he were to train with Marie, he's calm in his presence."

Klaud eyed Kanda with an unreadable expression before nodding. "Alright. Let's throw Miranda and Arystar in the mix, it's better to let them train together until Komui decides which one of us should take them as Apprentice." Sokalo dying on them was a huge blow, the man was a sadistic lunatic, but he was one of their best. Klaud did not approve of his ways but she respected the man as her coworker. She could tell Sokalo felt for her the same.

"Alright, then-" She couldn't finish her sentence because the noise of static from her golem overlapping her voice.

"General Nine, please come to my office along with Marie, you to have to dispatch for a mission ASAP."

The woman frowned, but obeyed, knowing that Komui had these things out of his reigns. Since the last failed mission Central grew stronger which is why Komui lost more of his control.

"Go, I'll take care of him," Kanda promised as he took a sip of his tea.

Klaud shot him a look of surprise, that quickly melted to gratitude. Without a word she stood up, nodded to the fellow General and left.

Kanda watched her leave then glanced at a heartbroken looking Timothy.

"Eat up, you might be a kid but I'm not going easy on you. That applies to you too as well," he said to Krory and Miranda, who had Timothy sandwiched between them.

Miranda let out a whimper, the nodded feverishly, no doubt Kanda snapping at him still fresh in her mind (though for Kanda it felt like forever).

Kanda sighed inaudibly, aware that he's in for a ride.

.

.

.

Several hours later the three Exorcists were sprawled out on the ground, fighting to catch their breaths. Kanda too was slightly panting when Chaoji approached him.

"I… Congratulations on becoming a General," he stuttered nervously, glancing at the three on the ground. "Are you taking Miss Miranda and Krory as your apprentices?"

Kanda eyed the newbie with an unreadable expression then shrugged. "Komui still hasn't decided on it. It's not if they would get any to be honest, Lenalee wasn't given a new master after hers died."

"Ah, I see," Chaoji retored glancing around uncomfortably before glancing back to Kanda. "Um, Komui said he wanted to talk to you, but I don't get it why he didn't just call you on your golem- hey!" He cried in indignation as Kanda walked past him, aiming at Komui's office, not even taking note how people practically jumped out of his way, as if he was a dangerous vehicle that would run them over.

He flung Komui's door open with the same temperament as usual, his glare chasing away all the scientists who lined up for whatever that needed to be signed.

Komui wanted to cheer and jump at Kanda, thanking him for saving him from the paperwork hell, but sobered when he saw Kanda's expression.

"How is Tim?" he asked with a strong sense of urgency.

Komui pressed his lips in a thin line as he pulled out his top drawer and presented him a half-fixed Tim. "I'm doing my best to pull him together, but his consciousness won't return. His reflexes are working but that's all. Sadly, his memory bank has been damaged as well. I think we can replay the events, but they're disoriented, and possibly not in chronological order. It would be for the best if we called over everyone and-"

"There's no time for that," Kanda interrupted him. "Also, Central would be suspicious and would want to use it against him. And then…" Komui's look of surprise melted into one of understanding. "I doubt he'd want anyone to know."

The Supervisor nodded. "Very well. Kanda, your first mission as a General is to find out about Allen and his connection to the 14th. Tim might be reduced to this state, which means his memories will be in disarray and missing, but also, he won't be able to hide anything. I'll cover for you, saying that you're working on a plan to exterminate the Noah Allen Walker, as you were the one who already finished off a Noah and- you know." He finished, referring to the stab what he inflicted on Allen. How ironic that he, a comrade was closest to killing that boy.

What a luck, to endure being betrayed by everyone.

"I already copied Tim's memory bank, so I could work on him while you watch the memories. Give me your golem," he requested. Kanda complied, handing his little golem over.

Komui opened the sentient device up and fumbled around with it a bit, then closed it shut and let it flutter back to its owner. Kanda nodded, then turned on his heel, his hair swishing in the air as he left.

He ignored everyone on the hallway as he headed back to his room and locked it shut behind him. People would probably think that- well who the fuck cared, if they tried to take a step in Kanda would keep whichever body part that dared to venture in his sanctuary.

Undoing his shirt he plopped down on the bed, moving to sit comfortable while his golem projected out Tim's memories. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, a parallel between Allen getting mad at Sheril for "killing" Lavi like Lavi getting mad at Tyki for "killing" Allen. (Sheril is fascinating but I do kinda want to punch him in the balls or whatever he has.)
> 
> Also, I know there's no canon evidence that golems other than Tim can project stuff, but let's say that Komui works to improve them for the sake of efficiency.


	8. Sleepless Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanda partially liveblogs Allen's past again. Finally I reached one of the many scenes I was aching to write *cackles* This sat in my drafts a lot longer than needed so you guys get a treat that's called "I'm updating this in a week". The chapter is done, it just needs a few edits. Please look forward to it.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support.
> 
> Special thanks to Rose, tcancel, thedoodlelord, Whypie, nessa11997 and FBI25 for the feedback!
> 
> Please leave kudos and review if you like it.

_The sun was high in the afternoon sky, encompassing the city and its inhabitants in a warm, golden light, occasionally interrupted by a lazy cloud dragging itself in the vast of blue heavens. Soft breeze caressed everything in its path, softly lulling people into their well-deserved rest. It appeared to be an eventless Sunday…_

_Were it not for the heavily panting figure rushing towards the railway station. Harsh gasps escaped the parted lips as its owner dashed at a breakneck speed to reach his destination, his only mean of escape._

_The fugitive was a white-haired young boy, whose left arm ruffled up into what seemed to be feathers and was accompanied by a golden, winged ball that carried a suitcase between its teeth. The shocked bystanders who caught a mere glimpse of him compared him to both angel and devil._

_He was clearly exhausted from his mad dash, but didn't stop or slow. Even without looking back he could tell that his pursuer was close behind - and approaching fast. This town wasn't populated densely enough to disappear under_ _**his** _ _radar._

_The station was finally in sight, but from the sharp whistle he heard, he realised in horror that the train was leaving. Shit, if he didn't get on it now then he'd get caught, then everything would be over. A shudder ran down on his spie feeling that atrocitus presence. It was close._

_He reached a bridge, where the train passed underneath and without the slightest bit of hesitation he jumped, landing on the top of it, barely reaching its end. He whipped his head back to see a stunned crowd and_ _**him** _ _watching him with awe or on_ _**his** _ _part, frustration and possessiveness as the distance grew. Allen fell back, lying on top of the moving train, fighting to catch his breath._

_This was close. Way too close. He barely got away this time. He wasn't sure if he could do it again._

_._

_._

_._

Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to will away his fatigue. It's been hours that he watched Tim's random memory fragments, the only thing he was thankful for that at least they were in chronological order. The latest was an assortment of the three months while Allen has been on the run.

He had seen multiple flashes already: the Beansprout meeting that Mana person and cry over his dog, meeting with Cross, getting blamed over killing 'Allen', getting beaten up over it, losing shit and attacking Cosimo, but end up hurting Mana instead, getting saved by Timcanpy when the troop members threw him in the lion's cage - seriously what the _fuck_ -, end up sinking into _that_ state, Cross, the asshole in denial looking after him and the birth of that goddamn mask. Sadly there was nothing about the time before meeting him.

Then there were snippets from the time he joined the Order, when he was hiding shit, like how his eye was hurting more and more as the group progressed towards the East, his encounter with Suman and that Noah, ordering Tim to flee, his first time being in that room, playing the piano, his state when he retreated after realising that something was undeniably wrong with him, remembering that he was taught those signs by his beloved father, being told he was going to turn into the 14th someday-

Kanda did feel a bit bad for watching these intimate moments, the past the Beansprout didn't want anyone to know of… And to be completely honest he felt disturbed to be placed in Allen's twisted point of view... But it was necessary, he wasn't snooping around, he needed to know everything in order to be able to save that idiot. Also, the Beansprout saw his whole life as well, it's fair he reasoned.

Then finally, after this goddamn long prelude and the stupid Bean crying another round for him and Alma and the Thirds, that asshole showed up when the Sprout almost transformed and forced a Crow, an Exorcist and two Noah to retreat. Kanda rewatched that scene over and over until the Bean left, memorising each move and word by this Apocryphos.

Allen was about to transform once again, when that guy appeared.

" _Don't let him sleep, if he falls asleep it's all over, Allen will get swallowed up and devoured."_

The Inspector was too worried about Walker, so he let the stranger take him in his arms.

" _It's ok, I'm going to heal him now."_

" _Everyone is worried about Allen. Especially the Heart."_

The second he touched the boy, he let out a scream of pure anguish and despair that he was locked up and disarmed and defenceless against his attacker, and no one would come to save him.

The Crow attempted restraining the man, but it was too fast and got behind him in a flash. Link screamed as well as feathers sprouted from his eyeballs, soon his grip slacking as the monster attempted to knock him out, but was interrupted by the disoriented Beansprout stabbing him accidentally.

Allen was visibly horrified with his own action, but his panic attack ceased when the presumed to be dead Cardinal turned out to be very much alive, unbothered by his attack as he approached him.

" _To be able to move around… What an amazing fighting spirit you have. Love, friendship, sorrow, despair. There's no being so deeply and unevenly bonded to Innocence as you."_

The petrified Walker was unable to react, he could only watch in horror as the monster closed in on him; letting out a pitiful whimper as his cheeks were touched by those feathery hands.

" _You became a splendid Exorcist, Allen."_

Then the pain started all over again.

" _You don't need to be afraid, you're just going to become one with me."_

That's more than enough for anyone to freak out, honestly.

Walker screamed as the process started all over again. He was held too tightly to move at all, so he could only endure in terror whatever his assaulter was doing with him while he trashed there helplessly.

But then, a familiar heart shaped checked door emerged from the wall, clicking open softly to reveal a nest of carnivorous butterflies and a rapid, cloaked silhouette jump above the scene of crime.

The beauty marked Noah took on the Independent Innocence, while the sadist little girl launched herself at the hyperverating boy and enclosed him in a comforting embrace. Too confused, Allen accepted her touch.

Meanwhile the fight between Tyki Mikk and Apocryphos carried on. The Innocence was a lot more cunning than people gave credit for and cornered the Noah.

" _Don't think, that I'm the same as those inexperienced Innocence you destroyed so far."_

His opening was snatched away by Walker, who recklessly attacked Apocryphos, pinned him to the wall and accused him of killing General Cross Marian. At that, the beast chuckled.

" _Ah, I see. When I was about to erode you, you looked inside of me."_

This wouldn't be half as repulsive if he didn't sound so damn delighted.

" _You're a Parasite Type after all, you've been influenced for a long time. But don't worry, I'm going to make you disappear."_

Sothe Innocence has given up on trying to save him and opt to destroy him before the 14th awoke?

" _Allen, that man tried to make a sacrifice out of you for the sake of the 14th."_

Why was the bastard so scandalised hearing that? He's just trying to do the same isn't he?

" _You can't hurt me with Innocence."_

Great, so they were bloody fucking useless against that guy.

" _Crowned Clown wanted this too - for Allen. He wished for our union. With an even stronger power to suppress the Memories of 14th. I'm trying to help you Allen!"_

But that is the complete opposite of what he just said before that. Except-

No, the Bean wasn't the 14th, he was only implanted. Not the same. Similarly, he wasn't the same person as he used to be in that other life. That fuckface probably just tried to confuse the hell out of the Sprout, so he'd have an opening and engulf him.

He yawned and stretched his aching muscles. No matter how much he thought about it, it simply made no sense.

The feed about what happened after the Fourteenth took over and hurt Johnny was knocked out so harsh before Kanda returned was lost. There were absolutely no hints on about when Allen was implanted and what the Fourteenth wanted. That blasted golem took the secret to the grave.

Cross Marian would be a much needed source of information for both the Fourteenth and Apocryphos, but the useless bastard was busy being dead.

With a long sigh, Kanda continued to observe the records.

_._

_._

.

_The sound of harsh wind could be heard as it blew through the winding, deserted streets in the cold, rainy, autumn night. Every window was dark, the only provided light was the flickering candles in the lampposts. The dark waves of the river were just as restless as the wind. The only relatively safe place was under the bridge of the town. There, barely noticeable a small, snowy haired figure curled up, shivering from the cold. He shot an apologetic smile to his companion._

" _Well, we found no inn tonight, but this will do for one night, right?" he chuckled humorlessly, tightening his coat around himself and Timcanpy, who snuggled into his embrace. "It's alright, when I was little Mana and I often had to sleep like this because there was no room or we were short on money. Though I didn't remember autumns get_ _ **this**_ _cold," he mumbled, his blinking rapidly, fighting to stay awake._

_He exhaled on his chilled fingers, then rubbed them together, in a sorry attempt to get warmer. While he_ _**was** _ _protected from the wind and rain, the stones were still unforgivingly freezing under him. It didn't help either that despite his exhaustion, he couldn't really let his guard down, he needed to be constantly alert, constantly on the edge so he didn't accidentally stumble onto one of his pursuers._

_However, he still couldn't deny sleep forever, he was only human after all._

_(_ _**For now.)** _

_He couldn't resist the dropping of his lids. His head lolled forward and his breathing dangerously slowed. The small golem perked up realising just how slow and weak those heartbeats were. Tim wiggled himself out of the limp grip and aimed to wake up the boy. He gently slapped him with his wings, getting harsher with each strike, but apart from a faint red hue in the deadly pale skin, nothing. Tim then went to chomp on his ear, as Allen was the most responsive there. His sharp teeth sank in the blue appendage, tugging on it hard for good measure. Agitated, the golem started calling his master with his characteristic 'gaaa' noises, but no answer. The golem froze when suddenly it realised that his master's breaths were non-existent._

_Only the rain and the fluttering of wings could be heard for an eternally long second, when unexpectedly, the shut eyes snapped wide open: one in its natural silver brilliance, the other tained in a ring of red and black behind a glass monocle._

_Tim flinched back as Allen threw his head back, Innocence hand squeezed to the abnormal eye, the other tearing up from the spasms of agony shaking his lithe body. The only reason he didn't scream was because he bit down on his lower lip so hard it bled._

_The teardrop escaped the normal eye as the boy attempted to bite back his screams and regulate his breathing. Tense minutes ticked by until finally, finally the pain retreated to a bearable level._

_His hand left his eye and slid up to grip his white hair, then chuckled bitterly. "I see, I still haven't fulfilled my role." Tim stilled hearing such an uncharacteristic tone from Allen. "You won't let me die until then, right, Mana?" a hiss left through chapped lips as the boy attempted containing his trembles "Not until your brother killed me."_

_There was no answer._

_._

.

.

_White exploded as Crowned Clown was going frenzy. It seemingly intended to wrap around its owner who visibly rejected the idea and expressed it by his constant squirming. At long last Allen managed to get a firm grip on the cloak and tore it off himself then scrambled away, almost tripping in his own feet, heaving heavily. Even trough the typical Noah tan, his flush still could be seen._

_The cowl of Crowned Clown quickly recomposed itself, ready to launch itself back to Allen, when Allen raised his clawed left hand to his own neck threateningly. "Stay back!"_

_The entity stopped. Allen was panting heavily, both scared and relieved at the same time, while Timcanpy flied around, wings flapping in worry. Right now Allen paid no mind to his tiny companion._

" _What do you want?" he asked in a rasped voice, eyeing his partner suspiciously. Unsurprisingly the materialised Innocence didn't respond_.

" _What do you want?" Allen repeated with a lot more urgency in his voice. "I'm… I'm turning into a Noah… so why?" his voice choked as he fought back a terrified sob. "Why are you keeping me alive? Why are you not making me Fall? Why aren't you killing me? Answer me."_

_The silver masked stared back at him mutely, driving Allen even more desperate. Just as Allen was about to talk again, he finally noticed the white tendrils of the edge of Crowned Clown's cape surround him from all directions; the cunning entity slowly wormed its way closer to him in his blind spot while he was focusing on the mesmerising mask. The Exorcist couldn't escape his own Innocence as it clasped around him insistently, though not painfully; still Allen fought to intrusion with defiancy. "No! Stop! I order you to get off me_ _**now** _ _!"_

_Tim tried to help, by biting the material, but the Innocence was unfazed, if anything, his weapon decided to capture him more fiercely; it crawled up on Allen's legs, stilled his torso, and immobilised his flailing arms before he could hurt himself, thus taking away the boy's hold over the creature. No matter how hard Allen struggled, he was caught._

_Allen panted heavily as he stared at the empty eye sockets as if those would reveal what he wanted to know. He tensed when the Anti-Akuma weapon, that he considered a part of himself moved towards him without his command. The boy watched with wide eyes as the mask swam right in his face, as if staring into his very soul, then it suddenly melted right onto his face and solidified so snugly that it was impossible to remove it. The next round of useless trashing was prevented by the cloak completely settling around his body; his knees buckled, but it didn't matter, Crowned Clown held him, and for once Allen felt a tingle of fear at the notion that it didn't let go. He was kept in an incredibly awkward position: he kneeled on the floor with his torso arching, his arms spread out wide, so he can't move his claw or summon the sword of Exorcism, his head turned to the heavens that were obscured by the dirty ceiling of the motel he hid in._

_He tried to fight, he really did, but he was losing, Crowned Clown was pushing him into unconsciousness. After long minutes of useless struggling, Allen lost his remaining strength._

_Allen could only whisper a broken "Why?" before hot tears emerged from the eyes of his mask and he finally went limp as he fell asleep._

_**(Out of the two, whose tears was it…?)** _

_Allen's body laxed in the firm hold of Crowned Clown before the armour lifted the boy up, feet dangling a few centimetres above the ground and carried him to the bed, where he was lowered with utmost gentleness. Tim wanted to approach the sleeping boy, but froze in his tracks when he felt the mask's gaze burn into him. The two remained unmoving until Crowned Clown dissipated and retreated back into Allen's body. Tim was still for a few seconds, but when he noticed goosebumps appear on Allen's arms, he quickly pulled the cover over his master and nestled next to his tear-stained cheeks. It seems that Crowned Clown finally decided that Allen went too long without proper sleep, so it did it for him. Tim didn't sleep all night to make sure that he'd be able to wake Allen if the Noah, the Order or Apocryphos was coming_.

.

.

.

_For once, he was lucky enough to be able to sleep. But even then, his dream wasn't undisturbed._

_Heavy breathing resounded in the small piece as the familiar pale person trashed in his bed. The golem sleeping by his side awakened just in time to see those silver pools, disoriented, terrified and a bit even delusional._

_In order to prevent a potential panic attack, Tim rubbed himself against Allen's scarred face soothingly. They remained like that for a few seconds until Allen slapped his typical smile on his face, though this time he pulled it off poorly._

" _It's okay, Tim," he whispered in a trembling voice, obviously straining himself. Tim growled at him, making Allen laugh._

" _I'm fine," he insisted, "it was just a drea-OW!" Allen almost threw Tim across the room for biting into his ear so harshly. "Ouch, why did you do that for?!" he shouted at Tim offended when the cheeky creature growled at him. "That hurts!"_

_Allen attempted mirroring Tim's glare, but he couldn't dispose of his sad scowl. Realising that he couldn't pretend acting defiant right now, Allen lowered his head so that his eyes were covered by his bangs. Seeing this, Tim ceased frowning as well and scooted his plump form over to Allen's lap and puffed up to the size of a beach balloon. Allen silently surrounded him in an embrace. For a while, Allen didn't say a thing, only thinking about containing (repressing) his feelings. He let out a shaky breath._

"… _It hurts," the boy admitted whispering, shoulders trembling from the effort to not break down and cry. Tim silently nuzzled him, urging him to carry on._

" _I…I remember memories that aren't mine… and I can't remember some of my own. I remember that I know how to do these tricks, but I don't remember when or_ _ **how**_ _I learned them. My memories are… being overwritten. Th-they're disappearing little by little and my mind supplied with ones that I know aren't mine, but it_ _ **feels**_ _like that. I see Mana much younger than I remember him" he suppressed a sob into a hysterical laugh at that, "I barely remember his face that I saw every day! I see him as_ _ **he**_ _saw him."_

_Tim was awfully still while Allen became undone over him._

" _This is it?" he breathed afraid. "This is how I disappear?" He let out a bitter chuckle at that. "'The memories will erode the host little by little, and will eventually turn you to the 14th.' was it?" his preciously shaking voice dropped an octave, his arms tightening around his companion._

" _Don't give me that crap then disappear on me you bastard," he hissed infuriated. "I could really use a hand right now, even someone's as unreliable as yours," the shakes returned, now accompanied by tears as well, "so it would be great if you pulled yourself out of whatever ditch you passed out in and came to help me," a desperate laugh escaped his lips. "But you won't, right? No one will."_

_Timcanpy's heart clenched hearing a sob break through Allen's defenses and crumble into sorrowful crying. Tears flowed down on his flushed cheeks in streams, his body shaking from the intense feelings that he held in for so long. He was incapable of pretending he was fine any longer._

" _Master!" he wailed out in despair and loneliness. "Did you leave me to die?"_

_Allen continued to weep for what seemed like hours until he grew tired of it all, tired of the anger, the fear, the sorrow and the loneliness; he was tired of feeling he just wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep. Before he knew it unconsciousness claimed him while Tim sat the silence, trying to endure his guilt._

_._

_._

_._

_Another explosion ripped through the night as the Sword of Exorcism tore apart a Level 4. In the past month stronger and stronger Akuma came to take Allen, each time it was getting more and more difficult to cut them all down. Last time there was "only" two Level 4 and eleven Level 3s - the Earl didn't even bother with Level 2s anymore. Now only Level 4s came after him,_ _**four** _ _of those. He already managed to take down three but he barely had any stamina left for the last one. And it caused even a greater problem that this one cannibalised the already destroyed two Level 4s while he took on the third one. It somewhat gained back its vitality but thankfully the soul didn't get corrupted further._

_Allen met the Level 4's attack head on, he no longer had the power to evade so he resorted to blocking with all his might. He could keep those large palms at bay, but then the Akuma opened its mouth wide and let out an ear-piercing shriek. The shockwave rattled his brain inside his skull, the abandoned houses around him collapsed into rubble. The damage was enough to cease Allen's invocation. The Akuma wasted no time to grab him with its oversized hands. Allen struggled to get out of its hold in vain, he couldn't even take a proper breath to summon Crowned Clown back to life._

" _You put up a noteworthy resistance, but this is it, Master Fourteenth. A young and inexperienced Noah like you might be killed. If that pesky Innocence remains attached to you, corrupting you, then you will die. But worry not, the Master Earl will free you. Once I took you to safety you can finish your transformation at ease."_

_That longing he heard in the Akuma's voice was repulsive. They were enemies who existed to destroy each other. Not master and servant. He wasn't a Noah, he wasn't the_ _**Fourteenth** _ _, he was still Allen Walker._

_Dark spots started dancing at the corner of Allen's peripheral vision, but he could still distinguish the Black Ark opening up, beckoning him. "Your family misses you a lot so I'm going to take you back where you belong. Come, Young Master, the Earl has been waiting for your return for so long. All of us did. Let's go home shall we, Lord Fourteenth?"_

_No no no no no no no! Why didn't anyone get it?! He wasn't a Noah, he wasn't the Fourteenth, he wasn't_ _**Neah** _ _!_

_After the countless sleepless night, the emotions he repressed until now broke out of him like an unforgiving storm._

_Crowned Clown exploded from his skin, piercing the Level 4's hands, which dropped him with a pained yell. The Akuma was completely taken aback when he saw the unstable Innocence hovering above the boy like a beast ready to pounce._

_Blinded by his anger, frustration and bitterness, Allen overlooked the pure terror in the last Level 4's eye as he tackled him and started sinking his claw into it repeatedly._

" _NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Allen screamed on top of his lugs, uncaring of the noise he was causing. After having four Level 4s the town was eradicated. "IT'S MINE! MY BODY, MY FACE, MY HANDS, MY SOUL, MY FEELINGS, MY LIFE, MY FUTURE, MINE!_ _ **MINE**_ _!_ _ **ALL MINE**_ _!"_

_At long last Allen realised the lack of resistance and the warm oil covering him. This time he couldn't feel the burning of the poison. It was no longer harmful for his human part. He was immune. And the ones who were immune to the Akuma virus were-_

_He slapped a hand on his mouth to keep back the rising bile from his quivering stomach. No. It couldn't be. He was changed that much already?_

_Hit tears slipped past his defenses, falling onto the carcass of the Level 4 he just butchered. It looked almost as vile as the soul that was contained within._

_His head lolled forward to bury itself in his hands upon seeing the animalistic way he tore the Level 4 apart, his shoulders were shaking from his weeping. "Mine." he repeated in a hushed whisper. "All mine. I won't let you take it away from me. Me, me, me, me... I'm still me. It's alright, I'm me, I'm still me. I'm still me. It's alright."_

_._

_._

_._

_The pained groans mixed into grunts could be barely heard over the torrent of water streaming from the shower. Tim was flapping around in panic seeing red mix into the clean water._

_Allen smashed his own forehead against the cold tiles, his right hand clawing at the wall while his left was buried within the injury caused by Mugen, twisting around in the healing flesh to inflict as much pain as possible to preserve his grip on reality and keep away the invading parasite's control._

" _Fucking_ _ **fuck off**_ _you asshole, this is my body, you hear me?_ _ **Mine**_ _!"_

_Allen let out another cry of pain as he sunk his fingers deeper in the wound that never got to properly heal -mostly because Allen more and more often kept reopening it in order to relinquish control over his own body._

_It took more every time to stay in control. He spat out a mouthful of blood then shouted again."Get the fuck away from me!"_

_Unable to bear the sight any longer, Timcanpy launched himself at Allen, biting on the Innocence arm and fly backwards to stop Allen from inflicting any more self harm._

" _Don't come near me!" Allen snapped at him as he threw the small golem across the bathroom._

_Tim left a dent in the wall as he impacted, then fell to the ground. Panting harsh, Allen too collapsed in the shower while the ice cold water was still beating down on him._

_At first Tim didn't believe what happened. Allen pushed him away. Allen threw him away hard. He_ _**hurt** _ _Tim out of his own accord. Disbelief paralyzed the small golem who could only watch the cold mercury irises that gazed unfocused on the wall, uncaring of the water spraying down on him, washing away the blood from his wound, collecting into stained rivulets that disappeared into the drain._

_They remained there sitting in silence until Allen cracked his chapped lips open._

" _Even though Mana is dead… I can still hear him… inside of my head…" Came the confession in a disturbingly even, emotionless voice. It didn't sound like Allen at all. "Especially at nights like this. I keep asking him… have you ever really loved me… but he never replies… he just keeps repeating 'go into the world darker than black, brighter than white', like a broken record… let myself fall… into what? Maybe his memories? I keep inquiring, screaming, begging… but he never says a thing. "_

_Tim didn't know what to reply, he stayed silent._

_The silence dragged on until Allen called him out._

" _Tim. You knew him, right?"_

_Tim stiffened at the accusation. Even though Allen wasn't looking at him, he could feel that deeply suppressed anger bubble under the surface._

" _You had the score," he carried on, laying the harsh truth to bare."You_ _ **know**_ _him."_

_Allen knew. Tim really should have expected. Allen was a smart kid. It's not that he didn't notice the connection between him and the Fourteenth, he simply didn't_ _**want** _ _to. Because Allen still wanted to believe in him, even if the evidence pointed agains him._

_But again, Allen was in a situation where he had to choose between two options._

_Allen let out a shaky sigh. He had to do this if he wanted to keep walking forward. "Tim, please tell me. Are you truly staying by_ _**my** _ _side? Or…?"_

_The question hung heavy in the air, echoing in the silence, filling it with a suffocating tension. Allen's eyes narrowed as he saw Tim curl further into himself, forehead pressing in the floor as if he was begging for forgiveness. Even if he knew there was no forgiveness in such matter. There was no room for such thing at betrayal of such extent. Allen rightfully thought that everything was a lie. Even if Allen he could prove that wasn't true, they still couldn't forget and act like nothing happened._

_Allen closed his eyes, hiding a grim expression._

" _No answer, huh."_

_It hurt Tim even more how calm Allen was acting. It would have been so much better if he was still screaming and crying or throwing harsh accusations at the golem, he did deserve it for putting Allen through this._

_But Allen lost the power to do that._

_...He truly…. gave up on the notion of being loved didn't he?_

_Allen's eyes squinted when the first rays of the morning sun reflected on Tim's golden body. "Ah, it's already morning."_

_Shakily he rose to his unsteady feet, his vision swaying from the lack of sleep._

_(Who knows if he was still him if he woke up. Maybe if he went to sleep, he'd never wake up again.)_

_He grabbed onto the edge of the sink to steady himself then glanced into the mirror to meet his reflection._

_His normally bright, silver eyes were haunted by the loneliness and fear. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and his unusually pale cheeks were hollow. He looked like a walking corpse._

_Allen opened up the cabinet and took out his make-up. He dipped his wide brush in the white, powder like substance and slid it along his cheek. Once done, he took the red paint and drew an exaggeratedly large smiling mouth over his empty features, then came the two lines, like scars over each of his eyes. Last came the fake eyelashes to give him more grace and distract people from his red eyes. Now that the makeup was in place he didn't have to pretend smiling, at least he didn't have to worry about that._

_He put his makeup back and inspected his reflection one last time. The left side of his face looked flawless, even if Allen could feel his scar there. The right however was missing. Or to be completely honest, it was dyed in a black mist by the Fourteenth's shadow laughing at him._

_Allen turned on his heel, walking back to his room._

" _Better start getting ready for the day."_

_._

_._

_._

_._

Kanda groaned when he heard a hesitant and anxious knock on the door. His blue eyes fluttered open, squinting at the invading sunlight. It seems that he fell asleep after he managed to squeeze out the last memories Tim held. Even in his dreams he kept seeing the stupid Sprout.

The knock repeated itself and with a grunt Kanda pushed himself out of bed. He dragged himself over to the door and ripped it open, not so surprised to see Miranda - he already recognised her from the way she was knocking. Kanda had to admit she came a long way seeing that despite shrinking a bit, she didn't run away screaming, but stayed with a determined look on her face.

"Um, the Head Nurse asked me to tell you that Johnny woke up-"

"Thanks."

The German Exorcist didn't get to finish her sentence as Kanda whizzed past him to the Infirmary. Whatever crowds were on the hallways they parted like the Red Sea as the infamous Exorcist passed by. Once he reached the door he swung the door open, then closed as he invited himself. On the inside were a groaning Johnny and the Matron. As expected the Head Nurse greeted him with a scowl.

"Kanda Yuu, you might be a General, but the rule to preserve the peace applies to you as well," she chastised as she went back to changing Johnny's bandage.

Sensing that a private talk was about to happen, she excused herself and left the piece.

Kanda went over to Johnny's bed and pulled out a chair to sit on it. Johnny flashed him a pained smile.

"I'm glad you're alright Kanda," he said softly, like any normal injured person would. "I… I heard from Miranda what happened after I passed out," he continued, tears brimming his eyes as he recalled his traumatic experience. "Allen, he… he's gone right?"

Kanda remained silent as Johnny sniffed, attempting to hold back his sorrowful cries. "The Fourteenth left with the Noah..."

"Wha? Fourteenth? What are you talking about Kanda?" Johnny asked nervously, trembling hands gripping the covers so tight that his knuckles turned white. "That was _Allen_."

Kanda's eyes widened a fraction hearing that. "... That guy was not the Beansprout," he repeated slowly, wanting to make sure that Johnny got it.

Tears escaped Johnny's eyes as he met Kanda's ones, shaking his head. "No, Kanda, you don't understand. It _was_ Allen who stabbed me."

A few silent seconds ticked by in tense silence. Kanda swore he forgot how to breathe as a heavy feeling settled in his chest."...What did you just say?" he choked out in disbelief.

Johnny whimpered as he wiped away his tears, trying to collect himself. "It was him Kanda. He tried to run away with me - to lure away the Noah from you all, probably - but we met another Noah, the one that had eyes on his forehead."

Wisely, the Noah of Wisdom. Kanda's fists clenched remembering the bastard Noah who poked Alma awake, hatred welling within him. Even if he didn't try to pin the blame on the Noah, he still hated them for using him to hurt Alma and Allen.

"He said that if Allen ran away, they'd kill us all," a sob broke free from Johnny, unable to contain it anymore. "Allen went with the Noah to _save us._ H-he sacrificed himself."

The words felt like a physical blow, knocking Kanda over with overwhelming strength.

It was him. _Allen_ was the one saying those atrocities. _Allen_ was the one fighting them. _Allen_ was the one to deceive and manipulate everyone. _Allen_ made himself an enemy of humanity.

All that risk to _protect_ them.

Again. That idiot sacrificed himself to save them _again_. To save _Kanda_ again. Anger bubbled within Kanda, at Allen, at himself, at the situation, at the fucking 14th and the rest of the damned Noah who ruined everyone's lives. Because they were weak they were forced to make sacrifices again and again with no end. But if they're forced to give up everything then what would be left?

This time for sure, when he next meets Allen, he won't be "Allen" anymore. The tiny fraction of hope to save him was gone. He's probably long gone by now.

Kanda abruptly stood up, almost knocking his chair back as he stormed out of the piece without a word.

His saviour was gone. The one he's supposed to save was gone. All he had left is to destroy the bastard who wears his face.

 


	9. Discussing Over Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's overdue but it's still here. I'm quite proud of this one actually. Reading Hane no Zaia makes my writing really fluid. Hope you enjoy it and please leave reivew.
> 
> Special thanks to Friendly_Reaper, Claire409, RVT and galimau for reviewing, they're greatly appreciated c:

 

 

"Is that all, General Kanda Yuu?"

Kanda paused roaming his eyes over the Great Generals sitting above in the darkness with each having a single ray of light illuminating them from underneath as usual, his direct superiors who'd decide the future of his investigation.

After the depression the other day, he was back to continue with his mission to find out about the connection between Allen and the Fourteenth, confident that it would reveal it to him how the Fourteenth can be destroyed, also find out about the boy to give him a proper tribute. He _needed_ to know why Allen needed to be sacrificed.

He already searched through the Order's Great Archives unfortunately though, he wasn't really successful. All the records about the Noah were full of the Order's bias and had no real value other than declaring how evil they were etcetera, nothing about powers, intentions and connections. Maybe it was naive of him to believe that there was any sort of useful data about them, especially if that memory-modifying Innocence was here.

But now with it being gone, Kanda could investigate without having to fear that guy trying to meddle with him, destroy evidence or force him in a hostage situation.

Which is why Kanda took the next step, using his new rank, his cover of wanting to kill the Fourteenth and the mission Komui entrusted to him. He attempted requesting access to the Vatican's Archives and most importantly, the Secret Archives. That was his last resort if that didn't work then-

"Access denied."

Kanda's face was wiped expressionless at the blatant refusal, unable to comprehend the reasoning behind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no; this couldn't be happening!

"But Generals, how am I supposed to hunt down the Fourteenth if I can't track him down-"

"That's your problem," cut him off the cold voice from behind the hood. "You cannot be let into the Holy Archives for such trivialities."

Anger swelled up in Kanda, making him abandon his submissive pose and straighten properly to glare daggers at the five sitting above; Kanda could see it now, those idiots truly believed that they were independent from the happenings of the world and would rather let hundreds die out of their own personal interest. "Trivialities? We're talking about a Noah, the enemy of mankind! Isn't it obvious that we should do our all to defeat them?!"

"Knowing your enemy is not necessary," came the even, insensitive reply, as if it wasn't a human talking."All you need to do is to cut him down. You're only here to fight, Apostle."

_These bastards._

Did the Independent Innocence already influence them to not let anyone in the archives? Or was it really out of their own will? Kanda didn't know and didn't give a damn, they were in his fucking way, in the way of humanity's survival; they deserved no respect or mercy.

Before Kanda could even think of doing anything reckless, Hevlaska laid one of her bony hands on his Innocence.

_**Wait, Kanda.** _

Hearing the voice Kanda was quick to stiffen. Hallucinating flowers and her was more than enough, he didn't need to hear the voices of the living, he'd be unable to tell reality and illusion apart. He wanted to glance back at the woman but she called out to him again.

_**Don't turn. Don't let them know I'm talking to you.** _

Reluctantly, Kanda obeyed and attempted replying, even though he was unsure if it was possible.

_What the hell?_

He was lucky.

_**Thanks to Mugen evolving to Crystal type, some of it resides in you even now, so you can hear my voice resound through the particles. Kanda, it's pointless trying to convince these people, I spent more than enough time in their presence to confidently say they're just mere puppets of the Vatican. Step back for now, if you're pushing matters too much then you'll make yourself suspicious for nothing, they might even accuse you of spying. Talk to Komui, he'll find a way for you to sneak in.** _

Clenching his jaw, Kanda nodded and without a word or sparing a glance at Hevlaska, he left his superiors behind. _Coward bunch._

.

.

.

"So it didn't go through," Komui lamented seeing Kanda's report getting returned with a huge stamp of "denied" over it. Leafing through it, based on the state of the paper, he could clearly see that they didn't even bother reading it through. "Just what are they hiding in those Archives?" he wondered aloud, throwing the files in the shredder - it's better if there's no evidence of this on his part, there might be even a chance that it was copied. "Damn, if only Lavi and Bookman were still here… no doubt they could gain access even there."

Kanda glared at the ground moodily, face crunched in fury over the injustice.

This idea wasn't without risk, the Order lost its relative safety since Leverrier with the Vatican on his heels set a foot in here, using Allen's case as an outlet. Kanda the same way as himself, who dedicated his life to protect Exorcists, might suffer great repercussions for trying to push his will through Seeing his expression, Komui felt inclined to point out the silver lining in the failed attempt."But I guess, in a twisted way, this also means that they _are_ hiding something there."

He smiled faintly seeing Kanda nod his head up hearing that. "How am I supposed to get inside though? You have no access there and neither do I, even though I'm a General now."

Komui hummed. He reached inside a large pile of papers and pulled out a sheet that wasn't in the least work related, however with all the identically white papers it was easy to hide what could might as well cost his job or life even. "I did think this might happen so I went ahead and investigated who has access to those files." Breaking in the Vatican's database was nearly impossible, but that didn't concern Komui, he got inside regardless of the impending threat. "It seems that it's a rather small circle of people who are known by face. It's not like the Rose Cross on your chest that enables the wearer, these authorisations are given to certain individuals. The College of Cardinals."

College of Cardinals. The pope's most trusted men. Whoever got inside that circle gained unimaginable power.

"And what are we supposed to do? Threaten or bribe them?" Kanda voiced his concerns. It's not like they could do that, they were just too powerful. Too big to fall. "None of those are available."

Komui smiled at him, glasses glinting ominously. "No need for any if those. What we can do is disguise you," grinning triumphantly the Chief raised a glass container victoriously "with this!"

Kanda blinked owlishly a few times then jumped on his feet and rushed to the exit, cursing heavily under his breath to see that the door was locked.

Komui clicked his tongue as if he was disappointed and he didn't enjoy seeing Kanda on edge. "Now, now, Kanda~ didn't you come back for Allen~? How are you going to help him if you run away~?"

Hearing that name, Kanda stiffened up. Sensing the atmosphere around Kanda shift, the smile withered on Komui's face somewhat.

"You think he's still alive?" Hearing Kanda's voice so uncharacteristically soft, Komui's expression turned serious. It was rare that Kanda exposed weakness and he wasn't about to abandon him when he needed the reassurance he never admitted to requiring. "You think that despite being taken by the Noah… He's still in there?"

Oh. So that's what concerned Kanda so greatly.

Komui let out a large sigh as he leaned back in his chair, taking off his glasses. "I don't know," He reached for a special micro-fibre piece of cloth to clean the lenses, thinking his words over carefully.

"If you think of it rationally, then the answer is definitely no." He paused glancing at Kanda's stiff shoulders, eyes softening. "...However, in the bottom of my heart I don't believe so."

Kanda visibly tensed, his hand twitching around the doorknob. Turning back, he gazed at Komui's reassuring smile with a solemn expression.

"Innocence and life itself cannot be grasped through rationality. Whenever I think of Allen, I get reminded of that. Despite everything, he managed to survive all dangers so far, even his Innocence saved him despite him being a host of Noah. Allen did ask you to kill him if he was deemed dangerous, but he said something else too. 'But that won't be necessary. I'll stop the Fourteenth, you'll see.' Sounds incredibly naive doesn't it?" Komui chuckled and his gaze settled into a fond expression. "That's what I thought. But then I realised this wasn't only a promise to us but himself too. He promised that no matter what, he won't let himself be defeated. I'm sure that even now, he's fighting ...because more than anything, he wants to protect you from the pain of killing him," returning his gaze at the started and dare he say, mildly awed samurai, he gave a small smile. "I want to believe that Allen is capable of overcoming this obstacle too."

SIlence ruled in the piece until a long, suffering sigh on Kanda's part, his shoulders falling. "When did you become such a sentimental old man? Geez... Well, it's still better than your stupid sis-con."

Komui chuckled at the Exorcist's bluntness. "Back to topic. Thanks to the help of the Science Department's hard work, we managed to get the DNA of a Cardinal, the Guardian of the Archives, whose nature is coincidentally very similar to yours, so you won't have to waste time or energy on imitating him. Your part will be to get in and make photographs of the documents so they can be inspected closely. The real Cardinal will get a small dose of sleeping potion and will be hidden and monitored by Marie who will also notify you if anyone is coming your way. Remember it, your name will be Francesco Segna."

Satisfied with the plan, Kanda nodded.

"When will we carry it out?"

"Marie is already on the way under the guise of tuning the Vatican's organ. He also found the target." Komui once again held up the potion. "I swear it on my life, it's safe."

Kanda took a large gulp of air and went back to Komui's table and took the suspicious glass. All this shit he went through...

"How am I supposed to get to the Vatican, though? If I go by train I lose several days and the Ark is heavily guarded."

"Oh, that," Komui snickered, his glasses glinting maliciously. "Leave that to me."

Kanda didn't dare to ask.

.

.

.

A few minutes later Kanda was eyeing the Ark Gate's guards sharply from his hiding spot, a secluded corner of the Science Department behind a large computer. As Komui ordered, he wore a Finder's uniform he snatched from the laundry over his own, pretending to be here for telephone update. Any time now the distraction would come-

He jolted in his place hearing an explosion go off nearby, followed by the sound of urgent footsteps and screams.

"He lost it! The Chief lost it!"

"We're all done for!"

Kanda wondered why he was so damn surprised to see yet another Komurin disaster.

"The talismans are useless!"

"Damn it! Where's an Exorcist to deal with it?"

"Quick! Evacuate in the Ark!"

Allowing himself to be swept along with the crowd, shoving the outside's guards aside, Kanda rushed inside the White Ark. Naturally the guards of the inside were quick to react to the commotion, urging to shove the mob back in vain.

"Hey! Entering without authorisation is forbidden!"

"The Supervisor unleashed on if ifs monsters again and the evacuation places were blocked by it, we had no choice! You can't expect us to get caught up in that!"

As the debate between the guards and the personnel went on, Kanda used this opportunity to slip away from the crowd into an alley. He went round the block and approached the door leading to the Vatican, but the damn guards were still there. Damn, how was he supposed to-

"It's here!"

Horrified screams erupted again as the machine blasted inside the Ark. Seeing it heading towards them, the guards standing by the door leading to the Vatican started banging on the door harshly, abandoning their duty when _their_ life was on the line. The door flew open with the irritated guard of the inside, who made the mistake to step inside the Ark and thus ended up swept up with the crowd. After the humans and the robot chasing after them disappeared to a safe distance, Kanda snuck into the Vatican, closing the door quietly behind himself.

He arrived to one of the more secluded part of the impressive Saint Peter's Basilica. Glancing around he could see that the place was mostly empty - for once he was lucky. With quiet footsteps he hurried out of the building through a door on the side, following the blueprint Komui installed in his golem. Luckily the Archives were rather close. Maintaining a steady pace, he reached the building unnoticed. As far as he knew there was some sort of debating so thankfully he only had to worry about the guards, who went lax believing that there was no one nearby.

Kanda jumped up on the side of the building, climbing up to a window. Sensing no one nearby, Kanda discreetly peeked inside, relieved to find no one. He tried opening the window, annoyed to find it closed firmly. He thought about breaking in but decided against it, no one can know someone forcefully entered - then there were the guards too. Jumping down, Kanda tucked his golem in his pocket and pulled out the vial instead. He eyed the purple content and green skull shaped bubbles with disgust. With a sigh, Kanda dumped the contents over his head.

The effect was instantaneous. Kanda could feel his hair crawl back into his skull, his facial bones shifting to impersonate that Cardinal. He hid the Finder coat to a corner where it wasn't so noticeable so he could use it again when he left, as it was meant to, the beige material perfectly blended into the marble stones. He slid his hand down on the fake Cardinal attire Johnny sewn remembering his tearful yet hopeful eyes.

_It's not much but I want to aid you to the best of my abilities._

Determined, Kanda under the guise of Francesco Segna, turned the corner and nodded at the guards who stepped aside to let him in without another word and closed the door shut. Komui truly did a good job, choosing a more reserved Cardinal entrusted with Guarding the Archives, than a bubbly one with a unique speech pattern that was too hard to copy.

Setting his golem free, Kanda roamed his eyes over the spines of the documents. The first ones appeared to be forbidden books that contradicted the teachings, then came the accounting, which were vast, but useless to Kanda. His eye stuck on pieces of the Bible along with unpublished Testaments and journals of previous Popes. He quickly headed over them, letting his golem record and send it to Komui.

There were a bunch of other useless debates over "reclaiming the sheep who trailed off to different religions" next to orders and reports about witch burning and other sort of inquisitions and torture during the Witch Hunt. Kanda was no stranger to violence and human cruelty but reading the records did make him want to vomit.

He left the documents about Crows and their magic untouched, undoubtedly they knew nothing about the Noah so he didn't even bother.

As he was getting to the end of the archives, Kanda started to get anxious. What if he didn't find anything of worth here? Cross who could fucking answer was long gone along with Timcanpy. Allen was gone, same for Lavi and Bookman who _might_ know something. Every potential source of information was disposed of in one way or another. Was this perhaps the work of that Innocence?

Grunting, Kanda sped up, determined to find some sort of evidence, snapping open all sorts of books, thinking they might have a hidden meaning. There had to be something!

Kanda jolted when suddenly he heard a window break behind him. He whipped back, ready to counter whoever it was but he was slammed in the bookshelf hard, with his arms twisted behind himself. Right then, the door flung open the guards gasping seeing the situation, but before they could attack or raise the alarm, they collapsed to the ground. A shaved headed man stepped over the two and threw familiar seals at Kanda, then tugged him out against his will.

The other, who caught Kanda off guard shoved some books on the ground and pulled out one that was hidden behind those and pushed another one there. Kanda's confused eyes widened in horror when he poured some sort of oil on them, letting its contained fall to the ground and pulled out a Fire Seal.

Kanda's mouth was gagged and a bag was pulled over his head as he was dragged out and even through the fabric he could hear the explosion and the large heatwave then finally the roar of fire, followed by screeches of terror while he was dragged away upwards and pulled on the rooftops.

He had no idea about where he was taken, he felt no ground under his feet just the swish of air in his ears, he was dragged around in the most random directions, spun around wildly so he'd lost track. Faced with his own helplessness, it was hard to keep down his growing anxiousness.

What happened? Why did he fail? The plan was spotless. Why didn't Marie warn him? Was he caught too? How was that possible, Marie could hear people approaching from half kilometre! He cannot be fooled unless-

Unless the sounds were overpowered by a much louder one. The sound of an organ for example. _Shit_.

Kanda jolted when suddenly he was pushed to the side, falling into a pool of water and pushed down until only his boots stuck out. Unintentionally he breathed in some water, however his captors didn't let him die. He was pulled out just as harsh and the bag along with the Cardinal costume were ripped off of him and those got set on fire. Kanda still hacked from the water in his lungs when he felt heat enclose him. Alarmed he looked up, expecting to see fire but he was relieved to see only the seals sizzling around him, drying him.

Once done, he was pulled to his feet and pushed along on a hallway until he reached a door. Flinging it open, Kanda was tossed inside harshly right at the boots of an amused Inspector.

The seals finally retreated, freeing Kanda, then disappeared through the door that slammed shut immediately. The young General quickly rose to his feet, whipping his gaze around to assess the situation, surprised to see his Master, Marie, Komui, Lenalee, Johnny Timothy and Miranda sitting tensely, painfully aware of the Crows behind them.

Clicking his tongue Kanda ripped his gaze at the smugly smirking bastard who was casually sipping his tea.

"I'm glad you decided to join us, General Kanda Yuu," Leverrier greeted as he set his cup down, waiting for a refill as he motioned at the long couch next to Kanda, where the rest of his comrades sat. "Have a seat, would you?"

Kanda didn't cease glaring at the man as he shot a look at his comrades, the hostages of this situation. His Master, Marie and Komui looked fine and ready for whatever to come, while Timothy, Miranda and especially Lenalee were visibly on edge; the girl was sweating profusely and shaking, if not for gripping Komui's and Miranda's hand she surely would have jumped out of the window. Timothy was visibly nervous as well, also worried over her state but was reassured by Miranda who held his hand too. The woman was trembling as well, but forced a defiant expression on her face, not crumbling under her anxiety feeling that her younger colleagues needed comfort.

Realising how powerless they were currently, begrudgingly Kanda obeyed and sat down beside his Master.

"What are they doing over here?" He asked nodding towards his comrades.

"Right to the point, General?" The Inspector inquired chuckling as he picked up a purple macaron. "Won't you at least taste my pastries?"

"I hate sweet things," Kanda spat, annoyed that the man was beating around the bush over such serious issue.

The bastard raised an eyebrow, feigning astonishment much to Kanda's annoyance. "Really? That's such a shame." Sighing, he set the plate aside and finally looked him in the eye with that insufferable fake smile gone, that pointless farce left behind. Finally, they were down to business. "That was quite a bold stunt you pulled over there, General. If it wasn't my men finding you, then you'd be in great trouble. Breaking into the Pope's Secret Archives is a crime to be severely punished."

As if he didn't know that already. As if he cared.

"Then why did you go out of your way to set it on fire?" Kanda countered, questioning the dubious man's intentions. "And how did you know it was me?"

"Simple really," the man replied shrugging as he reached for another macaron mumbling under his breath something like 'all this work, it'd better not go to waste'. "I used you to get those secrets. The fire was to cover the fact that they were, in fact not lost but stolen."

_That fucking piece of-_

Kanda stopped that thought before he attacked the Inspector, opting to tighten his hand on the armrest in order to keep himself from choking the man.

"I already knew what you were after when Komui gathered the ingredients for that potion that got washed off of you," The Inspector continued the explanation, as if he wasn't almost choked by his men. "Seeing that you just intended on visiting the Archives the other day, you're definitely the main suspect." Kanda had to physically stop himself from a repulsed shudder as the man smiled at him, raising his cup.

His sharp eyes flickered onto Timothy's defiant expression, who attempted putting a brave front despite being nervous. "One might accuse this boy with using his ability to get inside, but I myself will testify that he's innocent. Same for the time lady who could just waltz in and ensure a smooth sneaking in. Then of course Lenalee, " the girl flinched violently as the man of her nightmares called out her name so casually, as if they were on good terms, "who could just fly to Italy within an hour and disappear in a flash. Then General Tiedoll and Noise Marie, your closest associates would be arrested as well. Komui would no doubt be convicted for aiding you with technology. Half if not all of your would be charged in a heartbeat, dragged to the dungeon to torture some discipline in you, then get rid of the non-Exorcists."

Leverrier glanced at the Supervisor who met his eyes with a fierce glare, Johnny Gill was quivering at the notion of being executed, but he still held his ground against the man. Once done evaluating them a devious smirk spread on his face, that sent shivers down on the spine of many.

"However, all of you had been here the whole time with me, right?"

What? The tension that coiled up until now suddenly vanished due to the utter surprise. They were let off the hook? All that to cover up their trails? Now that Kanda thought of it, bag and the dumping was to hide his identity and the pool to wash away the substance, so there would be no evidence.

This man, did he really create an alibi for all of them?

"After all, it would be troublesome if any of you were convicted. I don't want to let any of the other families gain any more power."

Of course, there were they, his ulterior motives. This was trouble. The man had even great hold over them now that he had blackmail material that he will undoubtedly exploit.

"As for the 'culprit', he will be the Finder whose jacket you borrowed," Leverrier informed, dropping some sugar cubes in his cup. "He will be charged with heresy for destroying those documents, maybe get accused of being a spy of the Earl and killing the guards - that was a necessary casualty so people won't realise that this was a two-man job. He will be executed without doubt."

A cold feeling settled in Kanda's stomach. He thought Finder coats were all identical, therefore indistinguishable, he did expect a thorough search among the Finders, but he never thought anyone would really get into lethal danger. Damn, if only he took of the coat sooner and hid it under the pews in the Basilique...Still, he wasn't about to let this one go. As if sensing his intentions, Tiedoll clasped a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him from jumping up from his seat, in the current situation that might be identified as violent resistance the man might stop bothering protecting them.

Kanda knew this too, but he still couldn't shove aside his wrath, to think they have been used like this, to think that this man tossed them around like some damn chess pieces to get higher in the hierarchy… He won't tolerate such despicable act "What the-? Why does he need to die?!"

The Inspector shrugged nonchalantly over the question as if they weren't talking about a person's life that was ruined now. "There surely going to be a massively overblown scandal over this, which is why the masses need to be silenced. Also, it will serve as an example to those who questioned authority or dare to think about some sort of... _Resistance_." He accented the last word as his empathyless gaze stared into his.

Kanda inaudibly gulped, but still held the older's leering expression. He knew this man was ruthless and did anything to achieve his goal but to think he'd go as far killing someone to threaten them... "Is it?" The hell if he let this man intimidate him. "If you wanted to punish me, then why won't you just simply get on with it? Why make someone else get convicted. Even if I was found guilty it's not like I'd get executed."

"True that," the man agreed sipping his tea. "If not for you that poor man wouldn't have to die."

The fury flared up in Kanda and the young General was forced to put a lid on it, tearing at the velvet couch under him. Not only this man wanted to kill an innocent man to punish him, he even tried to put the blame on him. But despite the heavy accuse he forced a feral grin on his face instead - as if he'd give the satisfaction of snapping right now. "What the fuck. If he has to die then that's your fault. If you wanted to you could have simply disguised it as another Noah attack or Akuma attack," He reasoned much to the Inspector's surprise. "Or just drag me out through the window without killing those guards. Hell, just disguising it as an accidental he can thank anyone for being dead it's you and your poor managing."

The man raised an eyebrow in interest then let out an amused snort. "My, it looks like someone matured. I was sure you'd be screaming at me by now."

"Don't sound so disappointed over it you creep." He repressed a shudder at the man's amused chuckle. He wanted nothing more than to storm out and leave this man behind but the "hostages" weren't released yet.

Also, now he had a perfect chance to continue the investigation. "Why did you steal those documents? Are they actually related to the Fourteenth?"

There was a barely noticeable shift in the man's attitude, but Kanda could tell that the man shifted to defense.

"That's my business," the man replied evasively. "I believe your alibi is complete by now-"

Kanda was having none of his bulshit though, so he slapped the Inspector in the face with the truth as he would get into much trouble for physically slapping him and it wouldn't even be half as satisfying. "Your dog, Howard Link is still alive."

Kanda paid no heed to the shocked gasps next to him. The Inspector froze in his seat and to Kanda's sadistic joy that insufferable amused look slipped off the man's place, replaced by an angry one.

The tables were turned; it was Kanda's turn to smirk now.

"I also know that it wasn't Allen Walker who attempted and failed killing him," he elaborated. "Could it be that the reason you only stole the archives now is because of the same obstacle that defeated your pawn?"

For once, Leverrier's eyes were wide with bewilderment and the fury of being found out. That was more than enough for Kanda to tell.

"Surely, you'd get into a lot of trouble if it was found out that you let a defeated Crow go - and use him for your own selfish desires."

"You have no proof," Leverrier all but hissed. "The body was cremated, it's impossible to identify."

"Then I'm just going to hunt him the fuck down," Kanda countered without missing a beat. Having spent so much time together on missions, Kanda could already distinguish the runaway Crow's aura. "And where your dog is, the Fourteenth is within reach. Until then the rumours will surely take a number on you and the power your family holds. Believe me, those are impossible to be rid of."

The Inspector glared at him with eyes narrowed to slits. "What do you want, General?"

Knowing he managed to corner the other, Kanda declared his demand without hesitation. "I want to know everything about the Fourteenth. His goals, his powers, his weaknesses, his tie to Allen Walker."

Despite the anger Leverrier did express his genuine wonder. "Such detailed background? Aren't you usually uninterested by such?"

It was unsettling how familiar this man acted with him, however- "This isn't just any sort of enemy, I need to be able to know his habits so I can predict his moves."

"What makes you think that I'd-"

"Let's make a deal, Inspector," Tiedoll cut him off, fearing that Kanda's blunt nature would deter the negotiation. "With Allen Walker or Fourteenth gone with the Noah, Howard Link is then either killed, left behind or taken as well. No matter which option, it doesn't change the fact that he is unable to report to you. Seeing that you broke in the Secret Archives, risking losing your position, or how you chose to bail us out, I assume that you are truly desperate. That boy hasn't reported to you in a while, did he."

Leverrier was positively seething at the General, who without doubt guessed his predicament correctly. As much as he wanted to play that he had the upper hand, Tiedoll from his reactions realised just how much he needed new pawns and information. The discovery was more than troublesome, it took away from the psychological pressure he aimed to apply on them - a lie that he was in absolute power. Indeed, these people were dangerous, fitting monsters to wield that accursed Innocence.

"Our goal is the same: to find the Fourteenth," Tiedoll said. "So here's our offer: you share with us the information you took possession of-"

"I want a copy of those books," Komui cut in sending an apologetic look to the General who flashed a reassuring smile at him. Seeing that he didn't mind, Komui carried on. "There might be some hidden meaning behind the words."

He nodded to Tiedoll, indicating that he was done so he could continue with the negotiations. Right now it took too much from Komui to contain his wrath and keep Lenalee from succumbing to her fear.

"In return, we will find the Fourteenth and bring him back alive."

Kanda whipped his gaze at his Master, but held back a comment, it wouldn't do good if they started an inside fight, this asshole would surely exploit it.

"Hoh? That's it?" The Inspector asked cocking his head to the side. "Aren't you interested in what the higher ups want to do with your friend?"

Kanda grumbled. "I don't care, if anyone of you bastards stands in my way I'll cut you down."

"What Kanda would like to say is that we won't interfere with you as long as you don't interfere with us," Tiedoll corrected. "You can freely fight your way to the top, we won't meddle with your family affairs. Also, make sure that the man you want to use as a scapegoat is released.."

"That'll be impossible," Leverrier declared. "I won't risk what I built for a mere Finder. He's not my problem."

"Very well," Komui replied scowling. "Well then, is there anything else you wanted? If not then we'd take our leave."

"By all means," the man replied as he stood up. It seems he could still use thee Exorcists for his goals even if it meant they used him in return. Yet again, he forced an insufferable smile on his face. "I hope you enjoyed this lovely meeting. I hope we will have more in the future."

"Thanks for the tea," Komui almost spat as he stood from his seat, pulling his stumbling sister along. "Until next time, then."

Komui practically stormed out of the piece, gripping Lenalee's hand tightly as if afraid she might run off and leave him behind; he was followed by a less temperamental, but still hasty Timothy and Miranda then finally Tiedoll and his disciplines, uncaring of the people running around them, in search of the culprit who ambushed the Vatican.

Once latter three lost the front group Kanda glanced at Marie, who felt his gaze burn into him. Straining his ears, the man nodded, giving his ok. Kanda grunted a thanks then turned his attention to his Master who was already waiting for him to talk.

Unable to help his irritation, Kanda was quick to snap at his old man. "Why the hell did you promise handing over the Fourteenth?! Allen asked to off him if he were to lose!"

Tiedoll took a second to take in his seething form then gave him a warm smile. "True that, but Allen isn't the Fourteenth."

Thrown off by the calm reply, Kanda spluttered hearing that. "What the-? What the fuck are you saying? After witnessing him leaving with the Noah, do you truly think he's still _alive_?"

"Yes," his Master replied without missing a beat.

Unbelievable. Shaking his head in denial, Kanda looked at him with pure disbelief. "I know that you're a sentimental idiot, but this goes over the roof. There's no way he survived a den filled with Noahs."

Kanda still held a faint hope that Lavi was still around, he was a Bookman, a neutral party, thus not truly an enemy of the Noah. Also, he could be source for information, so it's unlikely that he was killed.

Allen on the other hand though was their sworn enemy who carried their kind within, who was wanted just as much if not more. There's no way the Fourteenth wasn't forcefully revived within him. They managed to poke it awake once, only Timcanpy's interference halted the process. Then under the bridge he almost lost it. Later he did lose it. If not for him just who knows what he would have done. With both Tim and his Master gone, without anyone there to call out his name, there was truly no way to save Allen.

Tiedoll chuckled warmly, as if Kanda wasn't nearing a meltdown. "Yuu, you forget that he managed to avoid both the Noah, the Order and that Innocence after him, also he survived Marian."

"He was let off because he was only a bait to begin with!" His Apprentice reminded.

"True," Tiedoll agreed, still watching the boy with his everlasting patience that made Kanda want to bash his head in the wall or his Master's face in. "But despite being all on his own, chased and almost on the edge, he managed. He was still himself. Believe in him, Yuu."

"Believe in him," Kanda repeated in incredulity, rising his hand to his head, "I can't believe you're saying such bullshit with that goddamned smile on your face. This makes no sense. If you think it over you can realise it too. By now, he must be-"

"But life isn't like that, Yuu," his Master uncharacteristically cut him off to keep him from spiraling down into despair. "You can't foretell events thinking through things rationally. The world is not a rational place. There's always an unknown factor that you can never filter out. It was unexpected that Allen manipulated us like that. It was unexpected that he held out on his own until now. It was unexpected that he _survived_ until now. All the time, he managed to win against the odds. Even now, there is a chance that your friend is still very much alive. As long as there's nothing to prove that, it would be too soon to determine if he's truly gone. Don't give up on him just yet. The battle is not over yet."

_The battle only begun. It's here, your goal is here._

_I want to believe that Allen is capable of overcoming this obstacle too._

Johnny, Komui and now his Master too. All of them. All of these sentimental idiots. Going on and on about how they believe in Allen with no basis. Why? Why are they turning blind eye to the inevitable truth? Why do they lull themselves with such lies?

"What a load of bullshit," he muttered bitterly, feeling queasy hearing the same idiocy over and over again. To think that he feels like these words are swaying him. No, he can't afford to cling to such childish fantasies. "You can't know that. You fucking idiots. Lulling yourself into such obvious lies-"

His descent to despiar was once again halted by a hand on his shoulder, making him jolt his surprise. Normally his Master despite his affectionate nature never touched him without permission - which Kanda of course never gave so basically he never touched him, but now,he overstepped a boundary to keep Kanda anchored. "They aren't lies. We know. It might happen. It might not happen. We don't know. No one can know in advance. But even so, we mustn't give up. We mustn't cease struggling. In all ways possible, we have to fight this potential reality. We're all fighting in any ways we can. And one of that is to believe in your comrade. Believe that he can win. Fight your fear and be there on his side. Don't run away, Yuu. Fight for what you hold dear."

All of sudden, Kanda's dizziness stopped. His frantic breathing returned to normal. Hazy blue eyes focused.

Run away. Is that what he's been doing so far? Was that the reason he cut down Alma? Was that why he always turned his gaze away? Was that why he stepped over the corpses of his comrades without even looking at them? All along he was just running away?

And he… He who kept jumping in his way. Who fearlessly crossed blades with him. Who despite getting hurt all over still didn't stop calling out to him until he was stopped. Who fought until the very end to fulfill his last wish. Who still held no grudge against him for having his own life ruined in return.

So that's how is it. He was irritated at the Beansprout for trying to run off, yelled at him for being a coward, but it seems the one who was truly running was him.

_Forgive me. Alma. Allen. It took longer for me to realise. To understand. Sorry to keep you waiting. But I see it now. I will act accordingly._

Without a word, reinforced by his Master's words, Kanda turned on his heel and walked off, leaving two smiling squad members behind. But it was fine. This wasn't running away. Even without him saying, they understood. Just like he decided upon his return. he will walk forward.

_I won't run away anymore._


	10. A Victory At Long Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much RVT and sousie for reviewing!

Exhausted eyes twitched as the first rays of the morning sun pierced their respective retina. They were bright and powerful, just like the fire that would soon engulf him. The man straightened his back to pop the aching bones and muscles as much as his restraints left him. His dull eyes roamed over the cramped, damp cell in distaste that he would leave all too soon. So this is where Master Walker was kept?

He snapped his head at the door hearing the heavy lock creak open and a shaved headed agent of the Vatican step inside to summon him. "It's time."

So his time on this plane has finally come to an end. Despite the resistance of his aching muscles and the heavy shackles, he straightened up. He had to say he was lucky to have evaded torture when he was "proven" a heretic in a swift trial he wasn't even allowed to participate, not even let to defend. It seemed Central wanted to have him dead as soon as possible. Without doubt he was used as a tool for some fight for power within the Order and now he was to be disposed of before that hidden truth saw daylight.

Sighing, he hung his head low and stepped towards the entrance - there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Within minutes, he would be reduced to ashes tied to a stake along with the truth.

Which is why he flinched violently when the guard in the door collapsed abruptly and a familiar man stepped over the body. His bloodshot eyes widened, dampening as he recognised the one who came to his rescue. "Master Kanda?"

Meeting his eyes, the General recognised him despite the bandages covering his face. "Toma? _You_ were the one made into a scapegoat?"

"Master Kanda what are you doing?" Toma asked worried. "You're going to get into trouble if-"

Without letting him finish, Kanda opened the cuffs with the key he took from the unconscious guard. "I don't give a damn," he declared fumbling with the locks. "It's my fault that your life in danger in the first place and I'll be damned if I let you get killed out of my mistake. I won't let them sacrifice you too."

Toma's eyes widened, letting his tears of relief fall free. "Master Kanda…" His voice died in a whisper at the surging emotions constricting his dry throat. Reason came a second later, installing fear in him. Toma shook his head vigorously. "No, please you can't do this, you might get executed too if you resist. Please get out of here while you can."

Much to his despair, Kanda ignored him and stepped out of the cell to fling in a large object inside to where Toma was sitting before and placed the cuffs on it. Toma had no idea what material it was made of but it was shaped into vaguely human.

"This… What is this?" Toma asked the other confused as he finished placing the metal binds on the doll.

"This is you," Kanda stated to his shock as he reached into his coat. "You're going to die here and now."

Ah, so he came to grant him a swift and painless death? How considerate of him. Toma braced himself for whatever the Exorcist planned for him, holding his breath as he caught sigh of a metal bottle filled heavy with liquid inside. Poison?

"Step aside." Kanda ordered, contradicting his thoughts. Despite his confusion, Toma obeyed then once he was in a safe distance, Kanda dumped the contents on the strange doll. Dark red, almost black liquid flowed out and splattered onto the puppet in the cuffs. From its density and texture, Toma could tell it was blood. Then, when the familiar dreaded scent hit his nose he realised it didn't belong to a human. Toma watched stunned as familiar pentagrams, that claimed so much of his comrades spread on the body, then disintegrate into ashes.

"Akuma… virus?" And the one who stored it like that to utilize was unquestionably Master Krory. Whatever the doll was made of, it was organic - meat probably and the one who created the doll was without doubt Komui designing it and Jerry providing the material. Since they fed hundreds of people, a 70 kg of meat being used is no big deal. So they were involved in this prison break too? Such coordinated teamwork of the most unexpected bunch just to save him?

"This way everyone will think that you were killed by the Earl so you couldn't betray information," Kanda explained as he capped the container again and stuffed it back in his inner pocket."No one will search for you."

"But that's only if we get out unnoticed," Tome reminded shaking his head. He couldn't let all these people risk so much just to save him "This place is heavily guarded. Master Kanda, I beg you, please run. Unlike me, you and the people who support you are not replaceable. The world can't afford to lose such important people over something so silly as saving one life."

 _This isn't like you_ , he wanted to say, but he wanted to refrain from hurting the feelings of his saviour. But it was true that Kanda wasn't exactly the gambler type of person, he didn't bother doing things that he wasn't sure he could manage, he's not the kind of person who'd put his everything on the line for the sake of one thing, he always kept his eyes on the big picture. The only one who'd risk everything to save one person is-

Kanda whipped his sorrowful scowl at the man, that proved Toma he was correct about the change of heart in the Exorcist. "I'm done running away. I had enough of losing because of it. I already have more than enough regrets." The was sadness and a flash of pain reflecting in his blue irises, but then they were engulfed by the flames of fiery determination. The eyes that bore into Toma's held no hesitation. "That's why, I won't run away anymore. I'm going to stay and fight."

Ah. He got it now. Master Kanda missed Master Walker too.

Using his surprise, Kanda grabbed Toma by the wrist and yanked out of his cell, rushing towards the outside. Toma wanted to break down and cry in joy that there were people who thought his life was precious enough to be protected but he held it back. Once they were safe; it wouldn't do good if the young General was caught out of his mistake.

Thanks to Kanda's sleath skills and Krory's cleanup, the Exorcist and Finder remained undetected during their runaway. However, Toma wasn't taken outside, instead to his horror, he was taken to Komui's operating theatre. It was the perfect hiding place, he had to admit, no sane person would venture in _there_. But even if it was meant to hide him, the notion of being around the Supervisor's "inventions" terrified him more than death by fire.

Unaware and uncaring of his fright, Kanda shoved him inside, locking the door behind the poor man and sped off. Tome swallowed dryly and cautiously peeked around in the piece.

The operation room was was seemingly ready for instant use, different sterilized surgical tools laid there glinting under the blinding reflector; next to it the Chief and his sister were waiting for him, dressed in surgical coat, rubber gloves on their hands and masks covering their mouths.

"Welcome Toma," the Supervisor greeted him with an apologetic look in his eyes, "I apologize for the rough handling and putting you through this, but please wash yourself, change into that gown and lie down on the table. Take off the bandages too."

Toma hesitantly nodded and obediently headed over to the washing basin behind a screen. He undressed completely, then reluctantly unwinded the strip of white cloth covering his face and carefully washed the tender, deformed skin. He continued until he washed off all the grime stuck to him from the prison. Once done he pulled the large gown over himself and stepped out wearing the fluffy slippers. Lenalee was there in an instant to pour away the water, while Komui motioned for him to lie down.

Toma laid down as instructed and tried not to panic when Komui tied his body down so that he couldn't bulge.

"It's for precaution," Komui assured. "Some people move under the sleeping gas." Of course, it would be troublesome if the scalpel accidentally cut his artery.

"I'm going to undertake a plastic surgery on your face and teeth to hide your identity," Komui informed as he placed a mask on his mouth and nostrils while Lenalee opened the tap of the gas. "Luckily because of your occupation you cannot be identified from your fingerprints as they already decayed so there's no need to touch that. Try to rest until we're working."

Toma blinked sluggishly as the sweet gas invaded his system and lulled him in a void sleep. The last thing he could hear was Komui's distant voice asking Lenalee to hand over a marker. By the time the ink touched his skin he was deep asleep.

.

.

.

Toma grumbled softly as he was lightly slapped awake. Annoyed he cracked an eye open, surprised to see the Head Nurse hover over him.

Seconds later the memories crashed down on his still hazy mind.

"You're finally awake," the woman said, as if it wasn't her doing. "You had me worried with the fever you developed because of the Dark Matter, but thankfully Mister Krory could suck the blood out before it could do excessive damage. How are you feeling?"

Toma nodded slowly, sitting up uncertainly. Looking around he recognised the Infirmary where he ended up lots of times. He opened his mouth to speak but remained silent when the Matron rose her fingers to her lips. Oh right, even if he had a different face his voice was still the same. So instead he just nodded.

"Ah, you can't speak?" she asked feigning surprise. "I see, must be the effect of the Dark Matter. I'll teach you sign language then."

Toma quickly motioned at his face. Nodding, she handed over a mirror to him.

The sight of his new face was astounding. The Chief truly did a splendid job.

His old face had been severely burnt by an Akuma's acidic attack back in his rookie days. While he had no problem breathing his face became grotesquely disfigured, some of his nose was even missing. He also lost several of his teeth during missions and had nasty scarrings and welts around his neck. All in all, he appeared to be a walking, decaying corpse.

But his new face was completely flawless. His cheekbones were pronounced but his cheeks were full. His nose and lips were fixed, eyebrows and hair was implanted where they burned away. Opening his mouth he was surprised to see china teeth implanted in his gums. Even his eye colours were changed to blue. He turned out to be quite handsome. It would be no wonder if he wasn't recognised.

Tears welled up under the blue irises, escaping freely on his healthy looking cheeks, still unable to grasp that he was free of charges, he didn't have to die.

The Head Nurse watched him with a compassionate smile. "I still have some errands to run, until then rest a bit more," she said excusing herself as she went to care for the other patients, leaving Toma alone to rejoice his newfound freedom.

.

.

.

Since he wasn't majorly injured he was quickly discharged after he was "sworn secrecy". His arrival in the Infirmary was disguised as a human casualty on the mission that Arystar Krory attended; according to records, he was the one to bring the man in and thankfully the higher ups didn't look into such trivial matter as a civilian life, they wanted nothing more than to kick him out as soon as possible.

With nothing else but some clothes and fake documents that proved his identity, Toma was escorted to the nearest railway station, heading from the Catholic Scotland to England in the South, the home of Queen Victoria and the Anglican territory where the Pope's power was little. In the masses of London, Toma was sure to be able to blend in and start a new life. Smiling, Toma turned back to meet the eyes of Master Krory, who saw off his "charge" and Master Kanda who would be Krory's partner in their next mission.

"What a mess," Toma sighed shaking his head once Krory filled him in about the reasons of the past day's events. "Poor Master Walker..." His lips twisted into a sad scowl thinking about the boy. "After all he's done for us… to be treated like that..."

Seeing it, Krory put a comforting hand on the Finder's shoulder. "It's alright. Allen is strong. I'm sure he's alright."

Toma was speechless for a second, but then mirrored the other's smile.

"It's a relief that everything worked out in the end," the Romanian Exorcist said with a soft smile adorning his face. "I'm really happy we could save you."

Toma bowed his head in respect. "The honour is mine, sirs. I'm grateful for everything you have done for me." Raising his head, Toma turned his attention to Kanda who was watching him silently.

"What are you going to do now?" Toma shifted his attention back to the other Exorcist and smiled at him. "Will you perhaps go back to the job you had before you became a Finder?"

"I was ordered to rest for a week at least by the Matron," he chuckled, even from such distance, he didn't dare to disobey her. "By that time things in the Order about my 'death' will surely die down. When that time comes, I'm going to rejoin the order under this new name."

"You what?!" Kanda shouted in surprise; was all this shit he went through was a completely pointless roundabout?! He was tempted, so very tempted to draw Mugen but halted when Krory abruptly stepped forward.

"You can't!" he declared worried. "It's to dangerous! If you get exposed you'll be killed on sight!"

"If an Akuma doesn't kill you before that," Kanda injected.

Toma shook his head with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for making you go out of your way, through so much trouble to save me… But please understand. All I have is this war."

"Please, Toma, you're finally free," Krory implored. "Go, live your life, do what you love, find someone you love… Don't just throw away your life so easily."

Toma shook his head with a small solemn smile on his face. "I have no family to return to. Parents, siblings, children... They were all killed by Akuma. I was the only one left." The flash of pain at the old memory didn't escape the two Exorcists, leaving them speechless. Toma licked his dried, intact lips and carried on. "To this day I wonder why the Lord have spared me while everything else was taken away. I'm a mere, weak human, it makes no sense that I survived when everyone else died. That's when I realised that I was never safe - and that I was completely powerless to change the situation. I can't bring an end to this nightmare on my own, my life has no deeper meaning. At first, I thought about taking my own life-" Toma noticed the sudden intakes of breaths but decided not to comment on it, it would be inappropriate.

"I purposely went out during an Akuma attack, ready to accept my fate… However, the Akuma was defeated. I was protected by an Apostle." Tome flickered his gaze at Kanda, whose eyes widened recalling the shared memory.

Toma smiled softly at the young man who saved him. "After being spared the second time, I stopped trying to run away. The horror I faced wasn't so despairing. I realised there are special humans, people who can fight these monsters,. I still didn't know the reason why I was alive, but I decided I wanted to live; so that I can aid these people, even if I'm only being used as a human-shield. … So that I can contribute to this war with the little power I have and give my meagre life a meaning."

The three stood there in silence, letting the echoes of the candid confession ring in the background, just above the sound of the murmuring crowd. Toma leaned down, picking up his trunk, then straightened himself to properly bid farewell to his saviours. "Master Kanda, Master Krory. Thank you for all your hard work so far. Regretfully, we have to part for a while, but I promise that I return to your sides soon. I also want to help with saving Master Walker."

The two Exorcists just mutely nodded, letting the man board the train already.

A few moments later Toma settled in a cabin and stuck his head out to see them again. "I'll be off for now, Sir Exorcists. Please wait for me, I'll certainly come for you."

Krory was still concerned about the man's life, but he understood; he wouldn't try to talk him out of it, Toma made his decision; it would be selfish of him to ask Toma to abandon his reason for living and fighting. After all, he was the same. The smile on his face didn't really come naturally, but he hoped he could still convey his wishes to the man. "Alright. We'll be waiting. Please take care, Toma."

"Certainly, Master Krory."

An obnoxious whistle resonated in the air, then the train finally set in motion. Toma waved at the two as he disappeared in the distance.

Once the train was out of their sight, Krory and Kanda headed for their mission.

.

.

.

He didn't remember the last time he felt so peaceful in a long while. Finally he wasn't cold, he wasn't hungry, he wasn't exhausted, he wasn't particularly in pain.

It was warm, cozy; there was nothing missing, on the contrary, it felt like he finally found something he lost a long time ago. Who knew sleep could be this good.

Which is why his heart almost soared out of his chest when a high pitched, scandalised scream pierced his eardrums. Gold-speckled irises snapped wide open, their owner sitting up despite the weights draped over him. His surprised eyes met murderous ones, but the moment shattered when something hard and heavy slammed into the intruder. The intruder cried out in more of surprise than pain as he fell to the ground, pinned under the weight of a loveseat.

Now that the immediate danger was dealt with, the white haired teen could finally take in the situation.

One, he was lying in a bed, thankfully in the same clothes as he last remembered, sans the shoes, though in quite a tattered state.

Two, the one screeching at such ungodly hour - he had no idea what time it was, but screw it, he was still drained - was Sheril.

Three, Sheril had a loveseat thrown at him, that was currently squishing him.

He jumped when he suddenly heard a groggy voice _right next to_ him.

"What the hell is this racket?"

Four… Apparently he had bedmates.

Yes, _multiple_ bedmates. Now that he was wide awake he actually noticed the arms around his middle, belonging to none other than the bloody Millennium Earl, cuddling him like a child their teddy bear. On his other side, the owner of the voice, a ragged looking Tyki Mikk. Said Noah seeing his brother in a predicament turned his gaze at the suspected culprit. "Boy, what happened?"

Allen sheepishly raised his right arm to scratch his nape in a nervous gesture. "Ummm…."

"Sheril startled him so he lashed out instinctively," came a droned voice from behind the snoozing Earl. Another white hairedteenager rose from the same bed - Allen wondered how big the damned thing was to host the half damn Noah Family - squinting at their way. "Try and tune down your thoughts will you, your racing minds give me a migraine." Wisely grunted hearing Sheryl's urging muffling from under the loveseat but didn't rise to help.

"Children, let's just all go back to sleep," the Earl murmured half-asleep as he tightened his grip on Allen's torso.

There was a small meow followed by a purr. Allen couldn't see Lulu Bell, she was probably blending into the Earl's dark hair.

A new, feminine voice humped. "No fair, everyone gets to snuggle with Allen except me! _I_ wanted to do that!" She grumbled sulking.

"Yea, yea, once you regain your physical form, you too can, but go back to sleep now," Wisely mumbled, attempting to go do just that.

Sheril however finally freed himself and tossed the love seat at the wall behind them, breaking the furniture and scattering its remains in the room, indicating that bedtime was sadly over. "Road, my lovely daughter, not you too! And what's with all of you?! Why are you sharing a bed with _him_?!" He pointed an accusing finger at the boy in the middle of the human pile.

Collective groans could be heard from the bed's occupants as they realised that with Sheril around, they wouldn't get to have a wink of sleep.

"Why didn't you all even tell me about Road's return?!" The Noah of Desires went on. "I was worried sick!"

Allen frowned at that, wasn't Sheril there too when they started the process? He couldn't recall, he had no memories of the time he fought with Tyki. Now that he thought of it Sheryl's departure and ignorance of the event is most likely why he was still alive.

"Knock it off, Sheril, it's not like she died or anything," Tyki pointed out.

"But still, don't you think 3 month without full recovery is a lot!" he screamed pointing at his daughter who could only sport a mere plushie form presently.

"Well, I guess that means Apocryphos is hella strong? If you still feel so mad about it go and play with him. He's tied up in the basement."

"I will once you get away from that damned- hey!" Sheryl's indignant cry was ignored as the attention shifted to Allen who raised the covers a bit to peek at Tyki's shirtless form.

Said Noah's annoyed expression was overcome with amusement at the younger's boldness. "Enjoy the view, boy?"

Allen ignored Sheril's choking noises. "What happened to your injuries?" he asked glancing into Tyki's startled eyes concerned. "I roughened you up really bad back then. Are you ok?"

Tyki snickered and reached out to tousle Allen's white hair, ignoring Road's and Sheryl's offended gasps - out of different reasons of course. "I'm a Noah, boy. You weren't injuring me with Innocence and since you're very inexperienced with killing you didn't even hurt me gravely. It was messy, but mostly just blood, you didn't damage any of my vital organs."

"Ah, that's a relief." Allen shifted, disentangling himself from the Earl, choosing to ignore his kicked puppy look. "I'm taking a shower," he announced, hoping that the bunch would get the implication that he wanted them to leave.

He pushed himself to his stiff legs and wobbled towards the bathroom door with his sore limbs, ignoring the racket between Road, Sheril and Tyki as he closed the door, leaving it creaked open to hear if he was talked about.

The luxurious bathroom held different sorts of cosmetics of the most expensive brands. Allen wobbled over to the mirror, wanting to see what state he was left in. He hald back a wince seeing his reflection. Thankfully, the shadow seemed to have returned to loom above him, but he did look horrible. The full-body mirror showed that his pants were ripped and his shirt was beyond salvation: torn, dirty and soaked with blood, exposing the majority of his body.

The displayed patches of skin, save for his curse scar and Innocence inflicted injuries, was unmarred; the cuts, bruises, burns and gunshot wounds all smoothened out under the massive amount of blood smeared on his skin. The injuries Tyki inflicted on him were absent as well. Just as Wisely mentioned, each of his cells were reborn into something stronger - his body however had yet to adjust, hence the overall stiffness, he had yet to get used to the superhuman muscles and regeneration.

Since the articles failed to cover him up properly, he moved to don his clothes but as a thought flashed in his mind he paused. If he recalled correctly, Noahs could change their attire by will, he just had to concentrate on the mental image and then his power would act accordingly. Closing his eyes, he recalled his usual casual attire of black pants, white dress shirt and scarlet ribbon along with the dark grey vest. Just as he wished, the rags around him came to life and melted into a white mass that encircled his body, flowing around it like lazy clouds on an afternoon sky. His lashes fluttered open, curious to see the magic in motion.

His eyes jumped into the mirror when he caught sight of movement, unusually sharp gaze - he still remembered just how blurry everything looked before the transformation - focusing on the object. It was Lulu Bell who stopped at a respectful distance and sat down to observe him. Allen held her glare until he was sure she wouldn't try approaching him further then eased up a bit and decided on averting his gaze to see how he was faring with the unorthodox dressing method.

He really didn't expect finding bronze skin and golden eyes stare back at him. The momentary shock was enough to disrupt his concentration. Before he knew it, the door to his bathroom was ripped off its hinges and flew right towards the Noah of Pleasure and Desires, but thanks to his ability, Tyki was unharmed while Sheril fell over again. All eyes save for Sheril snapped at the newborn Noah, specifically, _naked_ like a newborn Noah; if not for Lulu Bell transforming into a panther out of self-defence they could have witnessed his whole bare glory. Allen couldn't decide if he should be annoyed or embarrassed.

"Lulu Bell, get out of the way, you're blocking the view!" Road complained.

"Road, don't look!" Sheril cried pushing the door off himself, but it was in vain, Road always did what she wanted after all.

"Now, now children, don't embarrass Neah more than he already is~"

Allen turned to face the Earl with a small but disarming smile. "I seem to have ruined my clothes out of clumsiness. Would you please provide me with another set?" Sadly, he destroyed the fabric flowing around him in surprise, he couldn't summon it back. He has to start paying better attention to his control.

Like a child who's finally given the attention they carved, the Earl jumped to his feet, eyes sparkling with delight. "Yes! While you were sleeping I adjusted your previous uniform to your new fighting style! I'll have an Akuma- No, I'll bring it here myself!" The man squealed in joy and rushed out the exit shouting back "Ah, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait~".

Once the man's excited voice quietened down Tyki turned on his heel. "Alright, let's leave the boy to have a bath and get ready for breakfast ourselves. You too Road."

"No fair! How come Lulu can get an eyeful but not me?"

"It's impolite," Tyki said as he picked up her doll form and carried her to the exit."Come, you'll see him during breakfast."

Wisely, fed up with the racket stomped past them, grumbling about needing some peace and quiet. Sheril, finally regaining his composure sent a nasty glare at Allen, then stormed out to follow his brother and daughter. With his enhanced hearing, Allen could hear their conversation growing fainter.

"You're such a drag, Tyki, I should have just let Allen's Noah do as he pleases! Come to think of it, why is your hair short?"

The answer was already too far for Allen to hear. Now that they were far away, Allen allowed his smile to wither into a resigned one. Having the Earl act like the carbon copy of Mana only deepened his loneliness. He missed his father so much.

Shaking his head to stop zoning out, Allen returned his gaze to Lulu Bell whose long stare made him a bit uncomfortable.

"I apologize for scaring you, but I swear I didn't mean to attack you, so… could you please not stare at me like that?"

Lulu Bell didn't alter her form, but somehow she still managed to form words. "I was ordered by the Master Earl to never have you out of sight."

"I understand, but could you please-"

"If your state of undress bothers you so much then remember that you have already seen me naked."

Ah, yes, back during her attack, Allen recall catching a glimpse of her nude form.

"Also, we're Noah. We always mess up our clothes when we transform. Nudity isn't a big deal. I'm naked all the time."

Allen had no idea what to do with that piece of information.

"... I don't have to expect anyone to pop up naked, right?"

"No, the rest prefers to wear clothes, and I am only exposed when I'm in some sort of non-human form."

That was a relief.

"Also, you don't have to be ashamed, you are a Noah now, be proud of your body."

"..."

Lulu Bell blinked, confused seeing the blueish hue on Allen's face. "What?"

The reply was a high pitched scream erupting from the distance.

"That," Allen pointed to where were coming from. "Was Traumatising Experiences with Cross number 152."

Wisely would learn to distance his mind from Allen's.

Eventually.

"Am I better off not knowing?"

Allen nodded feverishly. "Yes."

"... I see."

There was a few seconds of a rather peaceful silence between them, though Allen wasn't so naive to believe that Lulu Bell grew to like him even a fraction, she was just probably putting her grudge aside for the Earl's sake. Given the order she'd relish sinking her fangs in his throat.

Allen cleared his throat to get her attention. "I'll take a shower then. Watch your fur, it might get wet."

Lulu Bell nodded, sitting down in the doorway and started grooming herself.

Allen closed the blurry glass door of the shower and let out a long sigh. Being constantly on guard was tiring. Not to mention his unstable power that replied to his impulses was stressing him out. If he didn't watch it he might end up seriously hurting someone.

Shaking his head, Allen opened the tap and submerged in his thoughts to summarize his current situation and think up plans.

He glanced at his mismatched hands, one pale though it was gaining a healthy flush as the water washed away the grime, the other housing his Innocence.

What happened just a few hours prior felt a lot more distant.

Being engulfed was an incredibly strange experience, his skin broke out in goosebumps recalling the dreamlike state. His conscious thoughts were all abandoned, only his instincts and impulses ruled that world, both his own and the ones invading him, melting into him.

_He vividly remembered jumping headfirst into the pool of memories, not wanting to drag out the inevitable clash; he feared that if he didn't act right then, his resolve might shake. Knowing he couldn't run away from his heritage, he met his fate headfirst._

_He was welcomed like a naive, wayward child who ran off in his stubbornness, but was forgiven seeing his mistake and returning where he belonged. Instantly, the process started._

_Hunger, exhaustion, frustration, aggression, carnal desires, euphoria, selfishness, want, greed and bloodlust, both familiar and unfamiliar feelings flared up within him, intent on seducing him to the path of destruction. His hands twitched, wishing to indulge in them immediately-_

_No, he had to maintain a grip on himself._

_It was almost irresistibly tempting, the power that wished to be unleashed for the sake of-_

… _He didn't know. He didn't know, but he felt it in his very bones that he_ _ **must**_ _join the Earl and aid him. It was a deep, impossible longing that he couldn't explain, he just knew from the bottom of his heart that he yearned to be by his side. Something inside him was missing, but he felt that if he stayed he'd find what he sought._

_Then was pain; the torture of ripping and reborning cells and agony of memories of hazy, fragmented previous lives slamming into him. His screams were silenced by the water rushing in his lugs. His eyes burned from both the physical and emotional pain. He didn't remember the reason why but he did remember the blood and the screams of his fellow Clansmen and the tears blurring the gory images. He felt like throwing up._

_Then also came a dangerous aversion to humans. His eyes snapped wide open as an irrational surge of anger from an unknown source exploded in his chest, making him want to rip into something._

_He remembered Cosimo, the Ringmaster and Central set out to torture, abuse, oppress and even kill him. He remembered the pain of the hits and the terror and name calling he endured merely because he_ _**existed** _ _._

_Demon child. Monster. Freak. Noah. Traitor. Just die._

_The human world rejected him and sought to erase him. He had no place among them. The only one who welcomed him despite being host to both Noah and Innocence was the Earl and the Noah he got to know when he believed he was only human. They understood his suffering and reached out to him despite the previous Fourteenth's betrayal._

_He could feel his own will fade in favour of the desires of Fourteenth. The image of the Earl's human face smiling at him was so warm and full of love; and that yearning devotion that he felt in return almost felt like it was his own._

_Earl. Noah. Family. Home. Safety. Warmth. Love._

_The concept was so welcoming, drawing him in with everything he always wanted._

_He… He… He wanted to belong here._

_Drunk on these sensations, he almost lost his self that was tied to the name-_

… _What was his name again?_

_He didn't know. He didn't remember. He had forgotten._

_**(The darkness sneered.)** _

_All he remembered was that aged, wrinkled face and the adoring amber eyes._

_But that was enough. All he needed was the Earl._

_**I'm on the run. If I get caught, I'll definitely get killed.** _

_Golden-speckled grey and a red-rimmed eye snapped wide open. That voice-!_

_**By whom?** _

_These memories- !_

_**The Millennium Earl.** _

_Whose memories were these?!_

_Suddenly he remembered. A run-down circus, a sunset in the cold winter, an old clown sitting next to him, gazing into the orange sky smiling, but he looked like someone who cried. That man adopted him. He made them family._

_Then came Mother, Barba and the Master who picked him up when he broke down and set him back on his path that lead him to the Black Order._

_**Where are you going?** _

_**When I woke up, everything was on fire. I have no idea what's going on, but I feel really good right now.** _

_**Thank you, Allen Walker.** _

_**You're so nice.** _

_**I'm the one who should apologize.** _

_**No one ever said thank you to me.** _

_**Thank you-** _

_**Because I'm your friend, I want to help you.** _

_He remembered friendly faces, welcoming smiles, budding friendships that bloomed into family._

_**No matter what, I'm an Exorcist.** _

_**Then, just become an Exorcist.** _

_**The darkness around you is so deep, I don't know how to pull you out.** _

_**Protecting something isn't that easy!** _

_While he belonged to the Noah by blood-_

_**I love you and the Order.** _

_**Teach those monsters inside you who's boss.** _

_**Neah fought for Mana.** _

_-that place was his home too._

_**My true home.** _

_**Welcome back, Allen.** _

_He wanted to go back and say "I'm home" again._

_**My left for the Akuma, my right for the humans.** _

_He wanted to free the pitiful souls of the Akuma and keep the promise he made to himself and Crowned Clown._

_**I'm the only one who can move the Ark, right?** _

_**What if I told you that when you become the Fourteenth, you have to kill someone you love?** _

_**Not knowing... is scary.** _

_And above all, he wanted to know. Why was he chosen by both sides. Why did the war go on. What is the secret behind Mana and Neah. What happened to them and what do they have to do with the Creator. What was the Millennium Earl aiming for by fighting this war._

_**I love you, Allen.** _

_He wanted to know if the Mana he adored was aware that he existed._

_**There's another side to this war.** _

_Because if he understood, then he could finally bring about a change and put an end to everything._

_**Ask the Fourteenth.** _

_His hand emerged from the shadows that coiled around him, aiming for the nonexistent sky._

_**You too, Allen, became a mad puppet.** _

_He empathised with these feelings and he was willing to embrace these sensations, but he ached to find out the truth too much to just submit his ego. Even if he became a Noah, he didn't want to leave behind what made him human._

_That was the exact minute a hole was ripped into that world. The Fourteenth hissed that the delicate process was disturbed, but didn't react violently to the fellow Noah._

" _Allen!"_

_Allen could feel the waves of relief rolling off her seeing that Allen managed to preserve his identity._

" _This is enough for now. Follow me."_

_With Road illuminating the exit, Allen headed for the light. Instinctively, Allen could feel that the Inner Noah didn't want to let him go, but still released him. Without doubt it trusted him to return._

_Mind reconnecting into body, Allen became all too aware of his surroundings. His new senses were incredibly sharp, taking in the environment's changes._

_He was currently straddling something moderately hard and warm, in short, right on someone. His reborn body was aching all over, wounds of varying severity were littered on his skin, a good portion of flesh was missing from his side; it was probably gained when he tackled his opponent, tying a nook around his neck with the whip he had instead of his left arm and ran through his flesh with his bare hand - the other was still cradled by a positively frightened looking Wisely hiding behind an agitated Lulu Bell._

_If Allen was to guess, he's say the fellow Brit was reminded of the terror he experienced when his previous incarnation met his end by the hands of Neah. Upon recognizing him, Wisely collapsed to his knees in relief._

_Movement inside his right hand drew his attention back to Tyki's flushed face and some sort of warm and juicy internal organ he just registered was gripping. In the back of his mind he felt a strong urge, no doubt originating from Neah, to tighten his hold and rip the other Noah open. Allen managed to school it and removed his hand from the injury, that would have killed a normal human._

_The arm he held suddenly dissolved in his grasp and gravitated towards Allen swirling around him as a greeting then rejoined its host as an arm again, absorbing the blood-formed weapon. With the return of his Innocence Allen could feel the black markings expand, between the arrows pointing out of his shoulder, there were small Innocence crests appearing. Once he was fully reconnected with his Innocence his overstressed body ran out of energy and Allen fainted on top of Tyki._

Allen closed his eyes, picturing himself in Noah form again. He recalled the shocking sight he found in the mirror: the greyish brown tan and amber eyes, along with the row of stigmatas adorning his forehead.

When he opened them again his skin indeed turned dark. Without checking, Allen knew his irises were dyed golden and he could feel the skin on his forehead stretch to accommodate the Holy Marks. He reached up and lightly tapped the tender skin, tracing the outline gingerly.

He truly did it. He truly managed to relinquish control. Finally he could put the months of living in fear, that he might be erased aside-

**Enjoy while it lasts. Just because you can use the power, it doesn't mean it bended in front of you. At the first sign of weakness, you're going to be engulfed and consumed.**

Ah, Neah; with how crammed the events were Allen almost forgot about him. Now that he thought of it, compared to how cocky he was before the transformation, he was oddly silent.

Thanks to Wisely, most of Neah's memories were separated from the Noah memory, thus Allen could interact with the Fourteenth Noah's memories without having to worry about Neah's memories overwrite his; the Road rushing to his aid ensured that he wouldn't be swallowed by the raw Noah.

It was ironic that Allen, whose most trusted people chose Neah over him for some greater good, was now chosen by his enemies to avoid the return of the previous Fourteenth, even at the cost of adopting him into their makeshift family. Life, Allen realised for the millionth time, worked incredibly strange ways.

Just as they negotiated, the Noah helped him out of his crisis in turn on keeping their beloved Earl stable. Neah undoubtedly lost this round. Allen wasn't naive enough to believe this was permanent, but however temporarily, he managed to get his Noah under control.

Which is why he was utterly confused to see his Innocence attached to him again. Even though Allen willingly abandoned it, in favour of becoming a _Noah_ of all, he still wasn't rejected or made into a Fallen One.

_**My heart is tied to the Innocence.** _

He blinked owlishly at the sudden memory of his own words that he gave Tyki when he yet again broke his arm.

So that's the reason?

Crowned Clown was willing to accept him even as a Noah, because the things he wanted to protect were still the same?

But then why did it act the way it did for the past 3 months?

Allen mentally reached out to his Innocence and got a familiar brush of presence on his consciousness as a reply - but no answer.

There was only one way of uncovering the truth then.

Now that he was a fulltime member, the rest if the Noah won't go up against him; Road and Tyki seemed content to have him among their ranks; Wisely finally stopped peeking in his head so he could plan without worry for the repercussions; the Akuma and the Thirds basically watched his every wish; the Independent Innocence that chased him was confined; and finally Link and Junior were not going to interfere with him in any way, which meant that the only one he had to watch out for was Sheril.

The layout of the Black Ark was the exact same as the White one's, so thanks to the Noah memories, Allen didn't need to fear getting lost for once.

This was his chance.

All he had to do know is to gain custody over Link, the Thirds and Junior, so that Sheril's hold over him would disappear. In the meanwhile he would observe the Noah's routine and find loopholes - also test Lulu Bell's monitoring. Then find the Heart of the Ark and observe if it obeys him. And finally, locate the Independent Innocence and determine how seriously he is confined.

Having the Fourteenth back, the Earl looked content for the time being, so he could freely take his time - though he preferred not to loiter around for too long, even now, people were dieing and his friends were fighting Akuma but at the same time he didn't want to rush, because that lead to mistakes and in his current situation, that wasn't something he could afford.

Once all if that is done, as soon as possible, Allen would take the all the hostages and escape this place. And then he could finally go back to investigate the true nature of this war.

Determined, Allen closed the tap and placed a hand on the handle of the shower and-

**You'll regret it.**

Startled by the sudden comment from Neah, Allen froze.

**You'll regret struggling instead of just giving in.**

It wasn't really the words Neah said, but the way he said it sent the alarm blaring in his head. The generally overly familiar and mocking person sounded eerily subdued, his voice reflecting that by the slightest of trembles in it.

**You just chose pointless suffering.**

It was almost as if Neah was burdened by guilt and grief.

**...I'd rather if you never had to know the truth.**

Suddenly, Allen's earlier optimism dissipated, giving way to growing anxiety. His throat constricted as a heavy weight settled in his stomach, which responded by churning uncomfortably. His heart rate picked up until his heart was hammering in his ribcage painfully. Despite the hot steam trapped in the small space, Allen found himself shivering.

**You would have been much better off disappearing here and now.**

… **But don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. In the second you crumble under the weight of the truth… I** _ **will**_ **be there and put an end to your pitiful existence and erase you from this world along with your sorrows and unattainable dreams.**

And then he was gone.

The presence that followed him like a second shadow ever since he played that accursed piano suddenly vanished. Allen let out a shaky breath he didn't realise he was holding, trying to put together what the hell just happened.

Regret living?

Regret wanting to know to truth?

Wish he was erased?

What kind of bullshit was that?

Allen grasped onto the first flames of defiance, intent on banishing this ill foreboding feeling.

As if that would happen. He was walking forward just like he promised he would. He would never regret his choices. Stupid Neah was just a sore loser and tried to make him hesitate so he could gain control and devour him. What an asshole.

With that sane temperament, he flung the door open, almost hitting Lulu Bell's nose who pandered closer in order to check on him. Allen zipped past her, grabbed a towel to wrap around himself and slicked his hair back. He stopped in front of the sink and glanced in its mirror.

Having his normally free bangs combed back, he appeared to be much older. He failed to notice Lulu Bell's look of shock. His amber eyes were casting daggers at his own reflection, mouth settling in a scowl. The shadow that used to loom behind him, then swallow him was now gone. The mirror trembled from his unstable emotions dangerously, but thankfully didn't explode. Turning on his heel, he stormed back to his bedroom. Despite the apparent frustration and seething fury, Allen still couldn't quite shake off the feeling that Neah wasn't lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Finders didn't get to have their narrative in focus, but I suspect some might feel this way. But of course, everyone has different reasons, there are different reasons why they fight. The desperate fight, even if it means being used as just a replaceable, worthless tool for the sake of giving their life a meaning could be one of them.


	11. An encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look, I updated. Thank you for the hits, comments and kudos, I hope you'll like this chapter as well.
> 
> So, Gray's Record unveiled a lot of the Noah: Road, Tyki, Wisely, the Earl, Jasdevi and Sheril are the ones having detailed schedules as far as I know. I don't really know about the others but Fiidora's is probably crammed with art while Lulu is working out to be of use to the Earl, especially after Allen shattered the already quite damaged Egg. I'm filling in the blanks with my imagination so bear with me. Also, with Allen being thrown in the mix some schedules might get rearranged so *shrug*.

As he promised, the Earl did leave a new set of clothes. Though Allen didn't quite know if he should be surprised to find a uniform. He expected something like this, a very subtle yet geniously plotted move. An invisible form of control.

First they feed him, then sleep by him, and now provide one of their clothes. An invitation among their ranks. A welcoming gift, as if he willingly joined. As if he was welcome. As if it was the decision of his heart, not necessity. As if this wasn't a meticulously planned out step to make him feel he  _wanted_ this.

Noah and their mind games. Allen was sick of them. But he promised he'd see this to the end, and there was no other way.

His new outfit was quite peculiar, definitely not something he'd wear out of his free will. The top part was a sleeveless white crop top equipped with a hoodie and a partial armour for his right arm, providing protection from his knuckles to his elbow and then on his shoulder. The bottom half was a pair of white tight fitting pants, hugging him by his hipbones and a pair of mid-thigh, steel-reinforced boots. Pure white clothes to contrast heavily with the darkened skin of his Noah form. The revealed patches of skin were his mismatched arms and Innocence inflicted scars. A reminder to to the Order, the Noah, God and Allen himself what he was.

The Earl radically altered the design. In the memory fragments he inherited, he recalled long, baggy sleeves and a long coat, reaching Neah's ankles. Displaying his scars, that he understood, but revealing his Innocence instead of covering it… The proof that linked Allen to his Exorcist persona or destroying it? Was this to destroy his resistance? Was the Earl alright with this? Did he care? Or was he so deep in his delusion that he failed to realise that he was not Neah? Maybe have Allen himself destroy it as an ultimate test of loyalty? Perhaps let it stay as a symbol of acceptance on the Noah's part? Or one that of despair for the Order that an Innocence piece was corrupted by a Noah? Just who knew what went through that man's mind. Allen didn't plan to sit around long enough to find out.

Gazing down, he could see Lulu Bell watching him searchingly. He truly felt structurized, but he shook off the feeling. Lulu Bell's expertise lied within shapeshifting and strategies, not fortunetelling and mindreading. She could monitor him, but couldn't foretell his thoughts or actions.

Turning fully to face her, Allen met her stare, holding it until she turned to leave the way to the dining hall.

Time to start his investigation.

In a much different path than last time, Lulu Bell lead him to the familiar double doors, the promptly transformed back to human form. Allen politely turned his gaze away from her nude form until a mist of white materialised into a sleeveless white crop top and short shorts, arm protectors like Allen's on both limbs, on her feet a pair of white steel reinforced boots coming up to her knees with additional armour. The outfit was composed to let her deliver swift attacks and shed clothes fact in case she wanted to turn her whole body into weapon.

As if sensing them, which they probably did, Tokusa and Madarao opened the doors from the inside and invited them in, beside them, Tewaku and Link loomed, bowing their head in submission, though perhaps from all the time spent together 24/7, Allen could tell Link wanted to talk to him. Allen wasn't sure he himself was ready for that.

More importantly, he realised in concern, he didn't see Lavi.  _He should be fine_ , he reasoned,  _he's not an Exorcist anymore, just a Bookman, he was no longer threat to their plans, moreover he's a resource for whatever they wanted. Besides as a hostage he is worth more alive and well._

Still, he could still not will himself to discard his feelings.  _Please, be alright._

Allen didn't have the luxury to have his eyes linger feeling Lulu Bell's expectant gaze. Once he met her eyes, she escorted him to his seat and once he settled down, she too occupied her place, one empty seat between them, reserved for the 13th Noah.

Wait, empty?

"Where are the others?" He asked, surprised to see pretty much all other seats empty. The other ones present were the 2nd, 6th and 7th, three of the Noah he just recently met. As expected all of them eyed him with interest.

"The ones you slept by are still grooming the rest sleeping either because of jetlag or they're lazy," Lulu Bell droned dully.

Which meant someone was always awake and therefore on guard. Especially now that he boarded the Ark just recently, some of the Noah might still harbour distaste for him as the Fourteenth. They might even attempt assassinating him.

Finding loopholes in their schedules was going to be tough, especially if he was under the danger of being stalked.

The door opened again, this time to greet the Lord Millennium and the rest of the Noah who Allen had found in his bed, plus Sheril and the sleepy looking twins.

Road, still in her plush form, leapt into Allen's face, her sewn mouth pressing a kiss to his nose. She ignored Sheril's indignant cry. Allen was just relieved that this time she didn't kiss him on the mouth or he'd lose a few limbs now. "Hello again, Fourteenth~"

"Good morning, Road," he replied with a fake smirk that he imagined Neah would wear.

"Alright, children, let's save playtime after breakfast and take our seats," the Earl said, flashing a bright smile in Allen's way as he sat next to him. Following his lead, the rest of the Noah took their places.

Twin doors opened and once again Akuma servants piled in, setting a buffet consisting of freshly baked goods, dairies, meat, fruits and vegetable. Allen mentally scratched it down that even face to face, his eye did not sense their souls, meaning he was most likely not only locked inside the Ark but an additional barrier to cancel Mana's curse.

Would make sense, it sounded unwise to leave his ability as the Player intact, even if Lulu Bell was watching his every move. He either had to find the Earl's gate to the outside - which was unlikely - or find a way to break the barrier - which was nearly impossible from the inside - or hijack this Ark too - again, unlikely because the Earl knows better after the theft of the White Ark. The moment he stepped inside the Ark, he knew he was not going to get out easy, but this was a lot harder than he imagined. He had to think of a plan.

Allen packed his plate well, trying to stay inconspicuous as he eavesdropped with his new sensitive Noah hearing.

"So how about the war, Sheril?" The Earl inquired as he buttered his scone.

"It's going well," the Fourth replied. "I managed to push through a bill to have more resources dedicated to combat and have less access to hospitals and social services. Some civil parties even protest."

The Earl paused, scowling lightly. "Won't that be a problem? You could lose some of your support group."

Allen felt Sheril spare a glance at him and sneer. "On the contrary, the more impulses, the more violence, the more deaths - the more resources to create Akuma. Also the key figures and the media are all under my influence, I can lead the masses to death on whim."

Allen bit a sausage in half with more force than needed, sharp teeth grinding the meat further.  _Endure it. That's all you can do for now. If you give into your impulses again you can't save anyone._

He didn't want another Alma Karma fiasco. He mustn't lose sight. Also, the worst thing of all, a war between nations was beyond his power or influence. Even with Sheril out of the picture somehow the damage was done, chaos was sown and he lacked the power to stop it. Noah and Akuma, he could deal with but people and politics?

No, he had to concentrate on taking the Earl down. With the Earl dead there would be no more wars. No more tragedies. The Noah would escape this feeling of compulsive loyalty that the Memories shoved on them.

Aggressively, he sunk his fork in an egg, surprised to see a frog hanging to it by its sticky tongue.

For a second he paused, wondering why the Akuma left it uncooked but shrugged it off, raising it to his mouth to eat it regardless when he heard someone scream.

"GAMAKO, NO!" Wisely cried, launching himself over the table, grabbing the poor animal, attempting to dislodge it from the hardboiled egg. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOURTEENTH?! WHY ARE YOU TURNING ON YOUR FAMILY AGAIN?!"

"Huh? What are you talking about? And why are you trying to take away my breakfast?" Allen asked holding the frog in place despite Wisely's attempts to save it. Like hell he's going to hand over his food.

"BREAKFAST?!" he cried indignantly, "THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND!"

"Why would you befriend my breakfast?"

"HE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST LET HIM GO!" He increased his struggling but Allen held Gamako in place firmly. He glanced away from Wisely to the frog, evaluating the fat-meat and nutrient ratio. Compared to the other goods it didn't look as appetizing as the dishes and even if the "if I touched it, it's mine" principal burned deep within his veins, he did recognise that compared to the nearly nonexistent satisfaction of eating a live frog was nothing compared to Wisely's potential cooperation. Sighing, Allen gave in.

"Well, if you insist."

Wisely sobbed in delight, cradling the small creature, murmuring reassurances to the animal, occasionally throwing a mean glare at Allen. A very strange way to show his gratitude for Allen's generous sacrifice.

"What a pity," Sheril sighed throwing a disdainful glance at the frog that Wisely cooed. "Here I thought I could be rid of an annoyance."

"Leave Gamako alone,  _Papa_!" Wisely spat.

"Don't be like that Papa!" Road chastised him. "It would be most dreadful if our dear Fourteenth choked on that living frog."

"Oh, if only," Sheril muttered.

"Oh please, choking on something in my throat is the last way I'd go down;" he grinned in his way charmingly, deliberately choosing his words ambiguously. "This body is used to shovelling food inside at such an insane pace that it would be no problem if it missed a few breaths. Besides feeling live meat whrite in my stomach, desperately trying to claw their ways out before my digestive acid dissolved them… is quite amusing."

The silent murmurs came to an immediate stop. All bodies came to stop, heads with blank expressions watching the boy with the misplaced, almost eerie smile aimed at Sheril.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Wisely screeched in a high pitched voice, desperate to hide his little friend out of sight, even if Allen's eyes seemed to be leering at a larger prey.

A fork dropped, cluttering against the china plate. All eyes snapped at Tyki, with one could call a horrified expression. Maybe his little prank went overboard.

Tyki's lips trembled, words tumbling past them. "I never knew."

"Me neither," Road breathed.

Tyki knocked back his chair as he stood up and Road leapt on Allen's shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Sheril demanded, alarmed.

"Nowhere," they replied in union. As he passed by, Tyki grabbed Allen's biceps, tugging him out of his seat.

Sheril slammed his palms on the table. "You want to go to the pond and eat my fish alive don't you?!"

The twins burst out with laughter while the rest had much more subdued chucklings or like in Lulu Bell's case, utter shock.

Projecting his strings, Sheril stopped Allen's movement, making Tyki halt instinctively in concern that the boy might get hacked to bits. "As if I'd let you corrupt my precious baby daughter and my precious baby brother!"

Despite the predicament, it was hard to keep the grin on his face from getting too wide.

The Earl sighed, inhaling to ready himself for the upcoming argument-

"Sheril, let go of him NOW!"

All of them froze, laughter stopping hearing Road's enraged yell, even the twins' smile withered at the fact that she didn't refer to Sheril as Father or Papa, she called out his name, declaring her authority as the Eldest Child.

"B-but sweetheart-," the man tried, stuttering under the furious aura Road radiated. Allen was absolutely taken aback by the intense reaction over him potentially getting her elicited in her.

"No buts!" she snapped, unforgiving. "Our Fourteenth is finally back! Only Raasura is left and our family will be finally complete!" Even though her eyes were but mere buttons, Sheril felt himself shrink under her wrath. "The Earl and I, we waited 35 years to have our family back! Don't you  _dare_ ruin it or I'll  _never_ forgive you!"

Though she stopped screaming, the walls still resonated with the boom of her voice. The Clan eyed flabbergasted the unprecedented conflict. The looming silence was lifted by the Earl's gentle clap. "Alright, alright children, let's play nice. We are all overexcited because finally we are close to the goal we worked for so long with only one of us missing and getting our hands on Apocryphos thanks to Neah. 7000 years was a long time. Let's all just nicely calm down." His eyes turned to meet Sheril's. "Sheril, we understand that you feel protective for Road. But don't be possessive. She is her own person and trying to limit her for such foolish reason would just harm both of you and your relationship. Even with her heart of a child and her charming childish allure-"  _What childish allure? She is a murderess._  "-she's an adult. Let her do as she pleases. Besides, I agree with Road. Picnic would be a splendid occasion to take a step to slowly and steadily smoothen out our little… disagreement."

Sheril grinded his teeth so hard that his teeth hurt.  _Disagreement?_  He could hardly keep himself from spitting it out, like the bitter words they were.  _That "disagreement" killed us all! Are you all so taken in by this traitor- no, this filthy_ _ **Exorcist**_ _masquerading as the wretched Fourteenth, that you fail to see how much of a hazard he is?! Not only he has the Earl wrapped around his fingers, he is winning over Road and Tyki as well! Like this, it was only a matter of time when he backstabbed us with Innocence! And if that wasn't enough, that we_ _ **baby**_ _an_ _ **Exorcist**_ _who actually transformed himself into one of_ _ **us**_ _to trample on the name of our clan and humiliate us further?!_

"I… understand," he gritted out mechanically. There was nothing he could do against the Earl. His orders were absolute.

Sheril's eyes flickered to the reason of his distress. The boy flashed him a smile and Sheril had to physically force himself not to lash out. Those sly lips may have curved upwards as if joyous - but the look in his eyes betrayed everything.

Smug. Cold. Unforgiving. Merciless. A strong message bellowed between the two of them. The martyr syndrome brat had abandoned whatever compassion he might have felt for him.

He bit back a snarl, agitated at the new tops of his and his family's degradation.

That behaviour, that delivery… was just like a Noah.

The Earl smiled, clapping his hands excitedly, blissfully unaware of this silent declaration of war. "Well then everyone, let's head outside and pick a nice spot! Don't forget to bring your fishing rod~!"

Chairs squeaked on the floor, the Noah obediently following their Master. The menace turned his head away and let himself be led by Tyki,  _hands joined,_  to further spite Sheril. Silently seething, he followed the small back.

It was too late to get rid of him by hunting him down or making it look like an accident. In the moment he entered their ranks willingly, despite the risks he managed to acquire protection and create great influence over already 3, and if counting Wisely as well, then 4 of them. That left 7 other Noahs who were still at the "suspicious and curious, but mostly undecided" zone. He had to win them over.

Tryde. His job was to make sure no betrayals happened. He was the first and easiest person to deal with.

Then Lulu Bell. Similar to him, she harboured deep resentment for both Allen Walker and the Fourteenth. If he could convince her how much of a danger that brat posed she'd surely stick to his side, if only for the sake of the Earl's safety.

The twins. Hard to negotiate with but if he recalled correctly, those two harboured ill intentions for him as well because of the debts Cross Marian shoved on them - that ultimately Sheril had to embezzle.

Fiidora, Maitora and Mercym had yet to know the persona of Allen Walker, they did not know what to think and thus were mostly neutral. But in the moment he became a danger to the Earl, they would step up as well.

What he needed to do right now, is to make sure that Allen Walker didn't expand further expand his influence, and then he could work on distancing Road, Tyki and the Earl from him.

He had to hush his voice, but Sheril did his best so that the intruder felt his glare drill into him.

_You might have won this one, but I won't let you win the endgame._

* * *

Allen was quite surprised when they exited the Noah's Ark. Truly, he did not expect that he would be let outside just like that. But outside they were, all dressed in the finest quality Victorian wear. So likely they were somewhere in Europe or North America.

The Gate was connected to the backdoor of the mansion overseeing an extravagant garden. His new eyes needed but a single second to sharpen, adjusting to the dazzling daylight that illuminated the lash flora. The springtime breeze was pleasantly warm on his skin, tickling his nose with flowery scents, carrying over the sound of birds chirping.

He'd never associate such a tranquil space with the Noah.

On autopilot, he followed Tyki by their joined hands - which he appreciated moreso than just to annoy Sheril, he was a bit lightheaded from the dramatic change in the details he perceived, he didn't want to stumble clumsily and make a fool out of himself in front of that guy.

Mentally he recited the song of the White Ark, unsurprised to feel the connection jammed, this must have been another barrier. The Noah might have acted friendly and inviting but they knew the real deal and didn't take him lightly.

He halted when he felt Tyki stopping and then he too picked up the sound of grass rustling under footsteps and a swish of a skirt. He could feel Road jump off his shoulder and hide from sight while Sheril inwardly cursed at the wrong timing.

He was greeted by the sight of a fair skinned, light haired, sickly looking woman under a lace umbrella.

Tyki smiled at her charmingly. "Good morning, Tricia, it's nice to see you."

"Good morning," she replied back in Engilsh, smiling. Were they perhaps in the Great Brittain? "It is good to see you again. Good morning to you as well, Earl, everyone." Her eyes flickered to Allen who sort of felt like a deer caught in headlines.

Was this person an Akuma? No, there would be no point in a charade if she was just that, which meant she was human.

Judging by the rank based on her clothes, Allen guessed that she was the mistress of this property. From that and how casually Tyki talked to her, yet not too closely, it could only mean that she was Sheril's wife.

Was she a broker? No, it makes no sense for a broker to live with the Noah, much less keep up such appearances. Which brought him to the next question.

_How much did she know?_

Sheril man was quick to appear beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder, confirming that she was his wife. She seemed unaware of his distress as she smiled at him in greeting.

She turned her attention back to the left and tilted her head to the side lightly, not a single strand of hair escaping her bun. "Who is this young gentleman might be, a friend of yours?"

Oh hell, what was his social rank now, who was going to get introduced to whom?

The Earl placed a hand on Tyki's back, silently ordering him to let him take over. Allen jumped feeling a familiar hand on his shoulder. "I am glad you asked, my dear. May I introduce you to Earl Neah D. Campbell, my son. Neah, this is Baroness Tricia Kamelot."

_My son, Mana giggled, rubbing his stubble against Allen's freezing cheeks; Mana was so embarrassing, that must be the why his cheeks felt as if they were aflame, Allen tried to convince himself._

Allen pushed aside the faraway memory; as warm it may have been it left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and panging cold emptiness in his chest, and forced on a polite smile on his face instead.

"How do you do," he said bowing to her.

"How do you do," she replied, inclining her head. "It is lovely to meet you, my Lord." She extended her hand out and Allen took off the glove of his right hand and concentrated hard to hold it lightly, yet not loosely enough so that only their fingers brushed.

The woman's very life might have been on the line, if he messed up worst case scenario she might end up killed.

"The pleasure is mine."

"I have to say I am most surprised, Earl, I did not expect that you'd adopt a child for yourself as well."

The Earl laughed heartily. "Oh, you just know, I adore children."

_Yeah, adore to make their deceased loved ones kill them and make them into weapons of slaughter or use their innocent souls as fuel to them._

"However, Neah is my child of my own flesh and blood."

Tricia gasped, her gloved hand flying to her lips. "Ah, forgive my insolence-"

The Earl waved dismissively. "Please don't upset yourself over something so silly. We are family, it's alright. You are very correct to assume so, I never talked of him before after all. It is a painful story you know. My dear late wife died during Neah's delivery." Tricia gasped in horror. "I was told my child was born deceased. I do not know why I was told such thing, but I am determined to get to the end of it. I found Neah learning at a church under a priest to become the next pastor. When I set eyes on him, I immediately recognised my wife's eyes."

"Now that you mention it, Earl," the woman breathed, "silver eyes and white hair aside, he does look a lot like you."

Her hands shot out, dropping her umbrella as she clasped on Allen's hands before he could think more into her words. "I am so sorry for all the hardships you went through," she said, her eyes roaming over the white hair and facial scar jagging down on his face. "But it's alright now, Allen, if you need anything just say so."

_Allen?!_

The two held gazes, Tricia determined and Allen shocked until Tricia flushed and retracted, sweeping off the invisible dust of her skirt. "E-excuse my forwardness, even as family, I may have overstepped my boundaries, I apologize."

"It is perfectly alright, Lady Kamelot," Allen smiled at her warmly, placing a hand over his heart. "I was always taught that God preferred a good heart over good etiquette. I am honoured to be held in such high regards by you. ...If I am not too forward though, may I ask who is the 'Allen' you're thinking of?"

Her pale cheeks flushed; she snapped her fan open to calm herself. "I-I'm sorry, it's just, your outer appearance reminded me so much of a boy Road keeps talking about."

For seconds he could only blink, but quickly composed himself. "To be fair, you are not wrong, Lady Kamelot, I am indeed 'Allen'. That was my name, prior to realising that I am a nobility, Road acquainted me when I was still 'Allen'."

"Yes, you look a lot like that doll Road made."

Just what the.

"She always has it around, sighing dreamily."

What.

"Are you perhaps courting her?"

Dear  _Lord_.

"Would you perhaps like to marry her?"

 _WHOA_.

The Earl chuckled, attracting the attention. "Tricia dear, I think Neah has yet to mature a bit for marriage just yet. Make sure he is educated well enough for when he first meets high society - you know how unforgiving they are to errors. And Road too, she has yet to even have her debutant. For now they are just cute children having puppy love for one another. Let's let them play and then we'll see how it goes."

"Great idea Earl. It would be splendid to strengthen our family ties."

 _I forgot that nobles intermarry,_ Allen sweated profusely.

"N-now Tricia, dear, let's not be rash," Sheril spoke up, finally finding his voice. "We shouldn't pressure Road to marry. Let Road enjoy her childhood. "

The woman smiled at him. "Darling, you are a splendid father, looking out for our daughter like that. But we do have to keep our eyes open, many children of her age are already betrothed, we have to think of her future too. Allen here is a splendid candidate and if we don't hurry someone else will snatch him away, he is such a handsome young man."

Handsome? With such scar? Yeah, right, those noble ladies would be probably fainting if they looked at him without makeup or even call a priest to exorcise him.

He struggled to keep a smile on his face. "That is very nice of your Lady Kamelot, I will certainly consider and discuss when Lady Road Kamelot is present as well."

She practically beamed at him. "Of course. Naturally we will reserve the first place for you as candidate, but we will leave room for Road to choose whoever she wants."

"Splendid," the Earl clapped, but then his enthusiastic expression turned concerned. "But Tricia dear, you look quite out of breath. This enthusiasm might have exhausted you. Maybe you should lie down a bit."

Tricia touched her thin cheek, indeed feeling an almost feverish heat. "Ah, such a pity, I was looking forward to spending time with you. The house is so empty with Road at the nunnery."

_Road. At a nunnery. A_ _**nunnery** _ _. An_ _**actual** _ _nunnery? Or a_ _**nunnery** _ _? As in Road being dressed all in black, her hair and body covered, on her knees praying to God or-_

He stopped his train of thought before it ended up in an ungentlemanly image.

"I am already promised to spend time catching up with my… father. But if you wish to, I'll gladly visit you for an afternoon tea." As much as the idea of marrying put him off - especially  _Road_ of all people - Tricia could be a valuable source of information and if she did occupy an important role in the Noah's life, then after practically inviting himself, the Noah could not deny the meeting.

Sheril placed a hand on Tricia's delicate shoulder, intent on rearing away his wife from the source of his agitation. "We will be in touch. Do forgive us, but I'll escort my wife back inside."

Even if he happened to tug Tricia with more force than needed, no one commented on it.

Allen watched Sheril's retreating back grow smaller until a familiar arm draped itself over his shoulder. "My, my boy, aren't you popular."

"Not really," he replied nonchalantly, "nobles of my age and of this rank usually have a fiancée. Besides contacts like this are not based on looks." He momentarily paused. "Do you and Wisely have a fiancée?" He didn't see ring on either of them, but then he didn't see neither on Sheril nor Tricia, not even ring tanlines.

Allen raised an eyebrow seeing nervousness flash in Tyki's eyes and Wisely too let out an indignant noise. So the thought of marriage was not a custom? But then why did Sheril of all got married when he was so disgusted to have him around when he was technically part of the Clan. Money perhaps? "No, but Sheril insists more and more every day that I do."

"Same for me," Wisely admitted. "Most of us are like that "

Which means that the Noah mostly came from non-noble background. Based on Tyki's and Lulu Bell's, the twins, the previous Wrath's semi-feral displays with Road's additional un-nunlike behaviour, it seemed they came from poor family that did not have the luxury to even remotely care about proper speech or etiquette. Apparently, the Noah memories mainly targeted those who were on the periphery of society - those poor people, struggling to put food on the table were more susceptible for radical ideals.

Perhaps that's how he was chosen as well, even in favour of Neah. The Fourteenth Noah apparently preferred to have him "spread his message" and his background of being 'Red' was probably the dealmaker, even despite being host to an Innocence. Clearly, the Noah Memory believed it had better chance influencing him through his sharp, strong, impulsive and often overwhelming instincts than Neah's more rational and calculating mindset.

"Maybe you should become a monk and swear celibacy, then and live your life closed away from high society in a village or something. Or be a missionary and travel around the world to spread the message of God."

Tyki turned thoughtful. "It is tempting to stay away from Sheril and all this noble stuff, but then I'd be bored because I can't play cards with you."

Allen shrugged. "You can, just not while gambling money. And if we go together we can play strip poker and then just confess."

"But  _Fourteenth_ ~ I already confessed to you, you can't just elope with Tyki like that!"

Allen sort of wished Sheril was here so he could see him seethe that he was 'snatching away both Road and now Tyki'. But then again he was an infuriating twat. "... I didn't mean that sort of confession, you know."

"Now, now children don't over exaggerate, we won't have time for even a shotgun marriage. Our plans are coming to fruition, don't create loose ends."

Coming to fruition? But Skinn was killed by Kanda, his Noah purged by Mugen. Shouldn't that mean that just like an Akuma, the Memory was destroyer? But even if it did return somehow, last time it took circa 3 decades for the majority of the Noah to reincarnate, surely Wrath can't be returning, not so soon.

But more importantly, what did he mean by loose ends? Did this mean that Tricia's life was in danger?

"Okay," Road huffed, radiating a pout. "But once I recovered my human form I want to play dress up with my dear Fourteenth. I have very cute matching clothes ideas for Seamstress~"

"I'm sure it'll be lovely."

The strange and awkward bunch stopped when they finally reached the pond. It was a rather small one with an approxiamtely 10 metres diameter, with a depth of 3 to 4 metres, plenty for all the koi fish swimming around.

They all sat down, Tyki disposing of his of his shoes and socks and rolling up the sleeves of his pants and shirt, sitting so his feet dangled inside the water, Wisely following his example.

"Watch closely, Boy, I'll show you my technique." Allen watched with mild curiosity as Tyki put his hand in the pool without the water's surface rippling. The man patiently waited for a fish to come nearby, then he grabbed it by its thick middle and yanked it out of the water without a single drop of water moving.

"I see you use your ability to ignore the water and only touch the fish."

Tyki winked at him. "Exactly. Nice observation." He smirked at the sight of pitifully writhing fish for a brief moment, the unceremoniously he slurped the entire fish down. A few seconds later he chuckled. "You weren't kidding, Boy, it is fairly amusing to feel something helplessly struggle within. Oh it stopped."

"Well," he replied with a shrug, "still plenty of fish in the pond."

Tyki grinned in return. "I like the way you think, Boy. I think we're going to get along… swimmingly."

Wisely let out a pain filled groan and buried his face in his face. "Enough with the puns."

Allen rolled his eyes exasperatedly - and it zeroed on familiar delicate purple, almost black wings flutter.

Alarmed, he jumped to his feet, forcing himself not refrain from even accidentally summoning Crowned Clown as he twisted his body to face the familiar threat. As slit like pupils zeroed on a single Tease hands raising in defence - and unexpectedly, with an agonized screech followed by a thunder of crack, it ripped to pieces.

Allen completely froze in shock, unable to comprehend what just happened. He was sure he just saw a Tease perish, similar to how the mere presence of Apocryphos eroded them - but how was that possible, his Innocence was willed to stay dormant despite its strong persistence to materialize.

"Oops, sorry about that, Boy," Allen's suspicious gaze turned at Tyki's sheepish expression, "just as I put a fish directly in my stomach a Tease escaped." The sheepish expression shifted in a light scowl to Allen's surprise, but then he realised it wasn't aimed at him. "Can you lot calm down? It was just an accident."

White brows creased as his eyes followed Tyki's and they widened seeing the defensive stance the Noah took up, save for Tyki, Road and the Earl. Lulu Bell, discarding, but not ripping her dress, inflated herself into a giant dragon, stepping between him and Wisely, who was closest to him after Tyki and was relatively defenceless compared to the more physical Noah.

"He  _accidentally_ just vaporized 1500 litres of water (A/N.: approximately 400 gallons). And shattered at least 10 square metres (100 square feet) of ground."

What? Horrified, Allen's eyes snapped to the destruction he unknowingly caused, breath stuck in his throat. The water was completely gone, the ground that was carpeted with lush green grass dried to twigs and lost its colour, the earth crumbled as if it had not seen rain in weeks.

He stared at his quivering hand in shock. Such annihilation merely because of a moment of panic? What if he ran into an actual threat to his livelihood? Would he just " _accidentally_ " wipe out an entire town?

His mind flashed to the familiar gothic cathedral and the faces he grew to love, the faces that hunted him for the monster he did end up becoming. What if he ended up-

_-mangled corpses paved his way as he kept walking-_

With the next blink, the illusion was gone. Just what-

"It was instinctual self-defence. He was just surprised by Tease, you blow this up too much, Lulu."

"I blow up too much?" she all but spat. "Are you so blinded by your fondness for Allen Walker that you forgot-"

"Lulu Bell."

The young woman snapper her mouth shut, her fiery anger vanishing as the Earl of Millennium said her name so harshly. As an act of submission, she deflated back into her human form, mindful to have her liquefied body flow back into her expensive outfit.

"Ma-Master, I-"

"I will not tolerate such disrespect towards each other. This is a family picnic.  _Behave_."

Lulu Bell flinched at the harsh words directed to her, obviously displeased that her concern was brushed aside so. She didn't seem to completely give up though. "Forgive my bluntness, Master, I was just concerned that the Fourteenth's capricious power might endanger our weaker family members."

"I'm perfectly fine!" Road squeaked in an attempt to ease the tension between the two. "Actually the Dark Matter our dear Fourteenth oozes helps me a lot, this way I can materialise my human form much sooner!"

"It is not your place to decide what counts as a threat, Lulu Bell," the Earl said tightly, ignoring Road.

"It certainly is not, Master," Lulu Bell agreed, clearly doing her best to keep things from turning ugly. From Ma- the Earl's facial expression, Allen could tell he wasn't about to let this go. "What I merely wished to point out is that the Fourteenth seems to… struggle with controlling his powers. That might pose a… hitch in our plans."

 _It might even completely ruin them_ , was the truth, but she knew better than to say it out loud.

"Lulu Bell is correct, brother," Allen spoke up, startling them briefly. He gave an apologetic smile. "It seems this new body operates much different… it appears to be highly reactive to my instincts. The presence of the Innocence might even… rouse the powers within me to be more… extreme. Sorry about that, I really meant no harm."

It was disturbing how the Earl instantly, as if by magic, had snapped out of the episode and took on his usual, pleasant smile, as if the conflict didn't happen. "Oh but of course, these things just happen. A little practice and you'll be as good as new. Lulu, since you seem to be most concerned about this, you have the permission to train the Fourteenth besides Tyki… if that is alright for you, Neah?"

"That would be great, yes."

More than great actually. Unintentionally, the Earl just handed him what he wanted: a mean to explore Lulu Bell's openings and weaknesses under a safe pretense. Of course, this would also mean that Lulu Bell would learn about his weaknesses.

Upon sensing it, Allen returned Lulu Bell's intense gaze, he could see suspicion and aversion swim behind her stoid mask.

But it was alright, she didn't know of his plan to escape. For now, he'd prioritize learning this power, observe Lulu Bell and the Noah and figure it out how to smuggle out Lavi, Link and the Thirds from the Noah' grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up as a semi-crack semi-serious chapter but I think it is needed after the intensity in the beginning. Besides, things might look friendly but everyone is hiding their claws during this stalemate, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.
> 
> This is as if Sheril was jelly because Allen seduces his family lmaoooo. He sort of does though xD Allen might come off as a bit OOC perhaps, but I always thought that Allen could be very cold to those he grew to hate. When he gets angry at a person, b o i, he is a menace. In Reverse he almost killed a guy because he killed people so their loved ones would call them back as Akuma!
> 
> Also, the whole thing with Allen appreciating being led is because he is experiencing the exact same as a person with shitty eyesight who finally got their glasses on. I've had glasses ever since I was little and yet every time I get a new one they leave me a bit lightheaded. To people without glasses, it's like you live your life on 144p and then you update to 1040p.
> 
> There might be a veeery light AlleRo or any other ship really going on in the background - but of course you're free to interpret the interactions that way- but pretty much only on Road's part, as romance isn't the focus of this story and frankly, no matter how much I might love that ship, Allen being in a relationship with Road and returning her feelings wouldn't work under these circumstances, as he always lies to himself and push to do what he thinks is right, not what he wants. I leave it up to your interpretation on whether he does or does not return Road's feelings. If anything because researching Victorian era courting etiquette is a pain in the ass, just the research for the meeting between Tricia and Allen was a pain in the ass. As he was raised by Mana and met a lot of people via Cross, I assume he knows all this social bullshit.
> 
> Funny thing that nunnery both means monastery for nuns and brothel and those two images clash in poor Allen's mind lolol.
> 
> As always, content related feedback is appreciated, writing just to nag me about update is not. See you next time.


End file.
